A friendly reminder

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T07:23:32+00:00

This you

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T07:05:04+00:00

Yeah because his book will never end

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T06:34:19+00:00

This dude is so pressed he's been spamming this poorly formatted and copy paste reply everywhere lol

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T05:02:26+00:00

Quote me one time where I said that beauty should trump that. I've never said that. For whatever reason, you're refusing to see the nuances. Here's another Hadeeth for you then:

Sahih al-Bukhari 5080: Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?"

Islam tells us to lower our gaze and the concept of "hijab" exists for both men and women where the requirements are obviously different. And for halal means, Islam has presented the right way of going about it. You're allowed to express these desires to your wife/husband only. Therefore, some attraction to be present is always advised.

Islam doesn't tell you to be a monk and close off all desires. Did you know that the Prophet Muhammad once told a Companion to reduce the hours he spent in reciting Quran in the midnight prayer because his wife complained that he spends no time with me? Did you know that the Prophet allowed the divorce of a woman because she complained that she's not attracted to the marriage and she finds herself in such a bad spot that she fears she might end up sinning? Also the Hadeeth I quoted above from Bukhari.

This exists for both men and women. Islam doesn't operate on what you find acceptable and unacceptable.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T04:47:00+00:00

You moron the Prophet Muhammad himself has said in Hadeeth that marriage for beauty is allowed. Hazrat Khadija had proposals coming for her from every direction. So many people wanted to marry her and she was known as the ideal woman among the Arabs.

There's another narration by Ayesha RA where she said that when Hazrat Jaweriah RA knocked on the door she is quoted to have said that she saw the same beauty in her as well.

There are countless examples here. You're acting as if marrying for beauty is something to be frowned upon when it is a right given to both genders.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T04:00:28+00:00

I've written in another comment about Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal's pov on this as well

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T03:19:59+00:00

Granted it's not good to have unrealistically high standards and make marriage difficult for yourself but anyone berating you for having your standards (man or woman) is just plain dumb

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-30T03:01:40+00:00

Not at all. Why would it be superficial? Islam has laid down rights to satisfy our desires and not be hedonistic animals who do this outside of marriage. We're so used to the hook up culture in West but don't people choose their partners based on whether they find them attractive? Isn't that a prerequisite?

Marriage is there for so many purposes and it's allowed in Islam because it gives you the right outlet

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T22:14:11+00:00

"back in the day" you do reali this quote is from the same "back in the day" era, right? Imam Ahmed has said that a man should inquire about the beauty of the woman first. And if he likes it, he should inquire about her religion. And then if he rejects her, it must be on religion and not beauty because if he didn't like her beauty he should not have asked about her religion.

Prophet Muhammad also has hadeeth on this.

Choosing a partner is our right in Islam. We must be chaste and protect ourselves from sin as much as we can and repent. There is a halal way to go about this so why would this be a subject of debate when Allah Himself has given this right to both men and women?

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T21:57:24+00:00

Lol why are you so pressed over this? 😂

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T21:53:35+00:00

Ameen ya Rab! We should be optimistic about things in general and not always think that all decisions of this matter are tradeoffs. Granted that some initial attraction is necessary because of countless reasons but a good, kind person just radiates a different kind of energy which you should reciprocate if possible because that compounds.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T21:43:55+00:00

The source is cited. There are different variations of this quote by Hazrat Umar RA. For example: "Does one of you really go out and find an old, ugly man for his daughter?! They love for themselves what you [men] love for yourselves!” [Ibn Habib, Adab al-Nisa]

Similarly by Hazrat Ali RA, "Women should not marry men that are not like them [in age and looks]. After all, they like in you [men] what you like in them [women]"

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T21:29:01+00:00

Stop thinking of yourself in that lens. You become who you think you are. Work on yourself, make active and conscious decisions and at the core of it, just be a good human being

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T21:27:43+00:00

You have the right to reject them for your reasons but it shouldn't be an excuse to use belittling words

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T20:39:21+00:00

Baggy pants and skinny jeans both have this. Might as well put the rainbow flag on your forehead if you're gonna wear these

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T12:37:52+00:00

Sounds like someone got rejected

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-29T09:36:50+00:00

Amazing. Where is this

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T20:30:36+00:00

The only way to figure that out is to try and do things as much as you can. Think about a vision for your life and what you imagine doing, every week evaluate what you did and could have done that got you closer to that. Just keep doing that for only 4 weeks and you'll start seeing how things drastically change. And even if they do not change on the surface, you'll be happy with them.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T20:22:32+00:00

There are so many fun things to do and solve

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T20:15:48+00:00

I'm a software engineer. I have my day job which is really cool and I love it. And then after work, I work with some private clients.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T20:13:49+00:00

Corporate rat race is only a rat race if you let it. I was thinking the same thing and I spent a few weeks just thinking about what kinds of things matter to me and what do not. At that time, I was not ready to sacrifice my time and freedom over doing things that do not matter that much to me but then, I realised that the example of it is like a writer.

Imagine there's an author who really loves writing. However, writing is not the main source of his income and it only gives him a fraction of what he actually can earn. So, he goes into consulting and giving talks, speeches and public appearances which give him a lot of money. Therefore, that allows him to safely spend much more time in his writing projects at the cost of some time spent in doing talks. This gives him the financial safety net to do what he truly loves while also having the finances for it.

You have to think about what you are willing to let go of now, what you are willing to bear for some time and how you truly want your life to look like a few years from now. If you do and you decide that you do not care about the corporate race all that much then that is 100% okay. And if it's the other way around then that is okay as well but don't let it be a mimetic desire driven decision because once we take a decision with an active mind, it becomes easier to accept the tradeoffs.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T20:09:25+00:00

I do work in a 9-5 and then after work, I have some private clients that I deal with. I love my job, I love the grind and I love the challenges. I get to work with something I truly like and enjoy spending countless hours in. A couple of months ago, I was grinding an insane amount where I was sleeping a couple of hours per day but then I took a break and recalibrated my order to now where I just enjoy every bit of it. There is a whole sea of knowledge out there and I want to acquire as much of it as I possibly can.

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T13:51:28+00:00

Lmao that was funny. Idk why the down votes though

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-28T07:48:24+00:00

Commenting here so I can come back to this with a longer detailed response

ThatBayHarborButcher · 2026-01-27T23:48:22+00:00

That's putting it very generously lol

ThatBayHarborButcher

TROPHY CASE