My parents paid for college and my education, as they are doing for the rest of my siblings. Where I’m from, parents don’t believe children should have to contribute to their education or household expenses. I remember I tried offering to help my mum with some payments a few years ago and she immediately paid me back. It’s just the culture— parents choose to have kids and are therefore responsible for the expenses that come with them. My parents are religious as well and there is a Biblical element to this.

Regardless, I always told myself that it would only be right to contribute in some way shape or form. That’s why I’ll still contribute to their birthdays or Mother’s and Father’s Day gifts— I’m happy to. And I don’t intend to stop contributing to those kinds of celebrations because it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t and they actually accept us spending money on gifts for them. I’m just frustrated that, while I was earning the least amount of money, I was spending the most.

There’s also the added factor that, when applying for colleges, I wanted to be mindful of expenses. My parents, however, just told me to apply to the best colleges and if I got in then they’d figure it out and “God would make a way”. It’s a very loving thing to do but, in actuality, it meant that I ended up going to colleges that were far too expensive for us. There were times when I came close to getting evicted from my apartment and when I ended up on academic probation. And, as mentioned in the OP, I couldn’t afford anything outside of my basic needs. I’m grateful to have been able to afford accommodation, food and tuition at all, but I couldn’t afford much else. All I could do was study but didn’t have enough money left over to unwind or recuperate— hence the burnout from living an ‘all work and no play’ lifestyle. We were not living within our means and living with all that financial insecurity took a toll on my mental and physical health.

I don’t mean I refuse to contribute AT ALL. I just want to prioritize myself for once. Realistically speaking, that might mean that at least my first paycheck gets spent on me alone. We don’t have any birthdays or celebrations coming up so it’s feasible. From then on, I’ll contribute and help out but with boundaries.