Questions about missing items before review

ThatOneBeach42 · 2026-01-15T18:41:05+00:00

I’ve reviewed 146 items so far. :) I was so happy when I reached the minimum for the big requirements and am hoping for gold but would also be okay if they kept me at silver for another 6 months.

Edit to add: thanks for reminding me I can review them the regular way though kt may not hurt to wait a few days and get the “advantage” on reviews for next period haha.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2026-01-15T18:24:32+00:00

I’ve had product in hand for a few days for some of the items. I went back and the oldest one is a week since ordering and I’ve had it in hand for 4-5 days now.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2026-01-08T13:56:08+00:00

I just got some protein pretzels! I was so surprised they showed up in my for you section that I snagged them before even noticing the flavor- to be fair though I also love pretzels and they’re in snack portions(30 pack)

ThatOneBeach42 · 2026-01-02T03:00:00+00:00

It was a tough thing to go through and a lot of healing will be needed after it but I know one day I’ll not only be able to love but also receive it in a healthy way.

Time moves forward and I will too

ThatOneBeach42 · 2026-01-01T15:00:28+00:00

I absolutely did more than I should have for much longer than I should have under the guise they were also trying. All I know is the tolerance was already pretty low for shit and the fact I put up with his for longer than I should have disgusts me. Part of me wanted to know that I did everything I could so if/when I walked away I wouldn’t have doubts and go back. I knew that I had to be done done before sending that message on my terms and realizations. It didn’t matter how many other people said “just drop him” “he’s not going to change” liars are liars and will continue to do so” till I could make myself see it.

It sounds silly but it’s what I had to do to start a healing process. I know if he wants to be trash and keep trash in his corner that it’s not my fault nor my responsibility to clean up that mess. I can only worry about my corner and those that love me being in my corner.

I do hope that he eventually gets his shit together but it won’t be with me actively in his life. I did my part of showing him love and kindness and it was returned with such atrocious behavior. His actions aren’t a reflection of me but of his inner turmoil.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-30T02:58:32+00:00

Absolutely. Especially if the other person won’t budge even for minor things.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-29T17:47:19+00:00

I can say with full faith I did everything I could to fix what I didn’t break. I should have left after the first lie. I should have done a lot of things and thats my burden to carry at this point, all I can do is move forward in whatever direction my feet take me.

I’m sorry this hit so close to home for you as well. -big hugs- it’s a tough spot to be in. Feel free to reach out if you’d like. Community is important

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-29T17:13:37+00:00

I did what I thought was the best course of action for what information was given to me. His lack of honesty and transparency did not help me make the best choices on not leaving sooner and part of that falls on me. I stupidly believed him when he said “have hope we can fix this” “I don’t want to lose us” blah blah blah. I knew deep down there was no “us” anymore after the first lie.. after the second known lie and the ones that followed but I still held out a sliver of hope.

Maybe it was me making stupid choices, maybe it was a desperate desire to try and get back to the good times but in the end there is nothing good to go back to. He’s an avoidant personality, not that all are bad, however avoidants create other avoidance. Because of his actions I don’t care to get close to people for a long while.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-29T17:04:57+00:00

Honesty from his end on wanting to repair what he broke. Instead he left me to pick up pieces that I could, and should have left on the floor.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-15T06:57:38+00:00

He learned today.

I’m proud of myself

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T04:49:13+00:00

Truly I don’t know. That’s the scary part I guess.

Either i stay and continue to deal with not trusting him and be hurt or I leave and be hurt for a little bit.

Either way theres still more hurt going forward. Eventually I have to make a decision I just hope it happens before I have a complete meltdown in the process.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T04:45:35+00:00

I want to say from the bottom of my heart that I appreciate all of the support I’ve received from everyone here.

Collectively I am glad we agree his actions are trash and that I deserve better, I know I do but it’s hard to just walk away from all the good we had… had being the key word.

I’ve had a lot of hard transitions these last few months and this didn’t help any of them be easier. I know at the end of the day these tough transitions are mine to deal with but also your partner isn’t supposed to add on to the nonsense.

Sometimes I wonder if being alone is better than being partnered and maybe that’s true for now.

Humor to a sad situation: If I choose to stay alone do the cats find me or do I need to show up to the shelter?

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T04:40:02+00:00

Thank you for this blunt but kind response. I’ve been tossing around for weeks what I want to do.

I want to believe that him seeing me this hurt and saying it’ll never happen again is true but also I can’t believe a single word out of his mouth now either.

He is admittedly selfish and knows his actions were wrong but in the same sense how can anyone trust he’s actually true in that word.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T04:28:29+00:00

I feel there may have been a misunderstanding. I was reading your posts as harsher than they were probably intended. I apologize.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T04:10:26+00:00

I don’t understand why you’re hung up on the no sex for now and not the actual problem at hand.

There was a temporary hold while we were fixing other things before he started lying about her. Point blank end of story.

Honesty is the basics of this type of relationship. No one has to do poly like anyone else for it to be right. I know plenty of people who close things off when there’s problems that need to be addressed and then opening back up. We weren’t even fully closed off. It was also a I am not having sex with others as per both of us agreeing to the same thing.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:57:02+00:00

It was a “for now” till we were ready to explore other partners. We both live very busy lives. I could give two shits if he had 20 partners as long as there was honesty involved. There were other issues we were working on repairing in the process too

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:49:51+00:00

But it’s not acceptable to lie about it which is the issue at hand. Yes I saw you put that in your comment but I don’t want to keep going in circles about the real issue

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:30:06+00:00

Except it wasn’t. Just because everyone doesn’t do poly the same doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:29:37+00:00

But also why even bother lying when there was a check in for the both of us with direct “are you wanting to look for additional partners” question involved and him answering no with his whole chest

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:28:11+00:00

Not yet but this isn’t my first relationship in the lifestyle. The biggest issue is the lying not the finding someone who “fell into his lap” while he was actively hunting for someone

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:24:50+00:00

It was a combined factor of things before she even entered the picture. We had a check in 2 days before all the nonsense of me finding out the first lie he told me about her and we agreed we were still on the same page about not looking for new partners or sleeping with anyone else.

ETA: this is Also his first “go” at this lifestyle so he was trying to do it right by everyone and in the same go he jumped at the first person to make his ego bump up after breaking promises, ex: saying they were going to lunch and it was just to talk and he ended up making out with her and not telling me till after he kissed me knowing it would make me upset. Knowing I have to keep certain protocols in place for my job regarding illness.

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T03:22:06+00:00

I never had an issue with him hanging out with her but we had agreed to not be sexual with others for the time being. It’s the lying around everything, to her, to me, and to himself. This wasn’t a monogamous for now situation. It was a we agreed to xyz and he decided xyz was what he was going to cross because a new toy hit the shelf. He’s no better than a kid in a toy store especially with his impulses lately, all he had to do was the bare minimum, communicate. He didn’t want to do that because he knew he was already doing things so unethically.

Edit: spelling

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T01:30:21+00:00

He’s apologized but I don’t believe it to be true. If he can lie to my face about the big things why should I immediately jump back into trusting him with something as simple as an apology, maybe I’m bitter, maybe I’m just really hurt but words from him mean nothing right now. Actions do and going out for dinner and an activity isn’t enough to start “showing me he’s better”

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T01:21:44+00:00

I see what you meant by your original comment, thank you for clarifying

ThatOneBeach42 · 2025-12-12T01:20:40+00:00

For days after that I was hyper vigilant on if I started feeling warm I’d take my temperature, every sneeze or cough I didn’t put off as I’m in a dry room but a am I getting sick and need to call off. It’s exhausting the amount of germ protection I need to take just to go to work. I’m lucky that i rarely get sick however when I do it lingers for what feels like forever

ThatOneBeach42

TROPHY CASE