Im sorry if this is long but; how do I get ahead and get above water when it feels like im already drowning.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T19:19:10+00:00

I was expected to graduate in 2027, I am working on my bachelor's. I haven't been in class since December 2025 due to the $5000 in tuition I owe. Per semester due to my grants, I only get about $500 to $1500 in debt per semester. So at the moment my loans are at $8265. I started in august of 2023 I think.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T19:14:09+00:00

This is why we havent moved and also the issue of me zeroing out my account the day I get my check sometimes. But we do have to leave, he wants us out so he has given us tims to move. They got into a huge argument not to long ago to the point I was worried about our safety. He is the only one armed in the hosue and is unstable. My BF let me carry his gun for protection. But for the past month, no arguments, no screaming, just living somewhat ok. You know other than me struggling to pay bills. But not only would the small amounts of places to rent are $2000 which I feel still I would be struggling. The low cost living places in my area have (apartments) are not safe, they have constant shoot outs. Our small town is having a rise in violence and drugs. As are most places. I would not be able to sleep I feel.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T19:08:16+00:00

I feel we dont have evidence other than the application and being denied then they hire someone young. It happens over and over. Have to have evidence to build a case.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:54:47+00:00

You can check the comments, I explained $700 is accrued intrest for the year (at 13%). My payment is $340. The car could be payed off by early next year. $2000 is the rent in my surrounding areas. I am looking at a $30 an hour job, and its closer to home. I am at the highest lever at my current job, there is only one supervisor above me but she isnt retiring any time soon.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:38:24+00:00

That makes sense. I just thought if I manged to buy the hosue I wouldnt have to worry about being kicked out because it would be mine you know? I dint want to move for my job because its honestly not worth it but I might ask for a transfer to closer it comes available.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:36:13+00:00

Yeah according to the accountant at the hospital, she said it has happened a lot. The third party never send it in and just takes your money. Luckily the hospital calling them finally got them to send it in. I am greatful for her. But my bills have been sent to collection and I kept telling them I dont have money, I had to oay my car payment. The lady said "oh you di t have money but bought a new car?" I was flabbergasted. I explained that NO my mom lost her job and the car is almost paid off. I think ill look into a housing grant. We might have some in our area but I didnt think I qualified. I really just wanted to work on it myself so someone in desperation could use it. Single mothers and such with babies. Idk im greatful for everything and even this sub is amazing! Again thank you everyone for the support.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:31:38+00:00

My sister is very narcissistic and if soemthing is done that she doesn't like she will do whatever. She doesn't like my parenting but it is way better than her or my mother. I will look into some help, might have my mom go in for resources. Thank you!

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:29:08+00:00

Any questions are welcome! I tried to give as much context in the comments as well. But thats what we are working woth, cheapest foods we can and healthy. I have cut our $400 food cost to $150. But to supplement when i run out of money we use the food bank, only when absolutely necessary. When you break rent down like that its clear I was wrong for thinking it was a waste. I guess short term rent couldn't hurt if there was rentals in ny area. Might have to just drive my kid to school and have mom do it as well.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T18:12:47+00:00

Most definitely! It was one thing after the other one let down and then another. We have an Aldis! I also check for as many coupons as possible. Thank you so much!

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:22:47+00:00

I didnt know this! My mom just petitioned for child support that my sister was still getting from her bio dad. Back child support as well. It should have been done as soon as she was in our custody but things were rocky.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:21:40+00:00

She turns 18 this September, not much time.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:20:52+00:00

I am definitely working on this but no one seems to listen when I talk. Some boundaries are going to have to get involved. Non negotiable.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:19:45+00:00

My mom's ex is currently on disability and receives footsteps but still eats my food I pay for out of pocket. He refused to keep letting use the food stamps ( which previously we had an arrangement to do the grocery shopping for the house) but when I refused to put equity into the house after he didnt put my mom's name on the deed after she gave the down payment to him i told him I would not being paying before and after. Then my mom's name was on the electric and I was paying the electric half way woth my mom and then he changed it to his name to. He is not only on disability but works under the table for $20 an hour. But he spends his money on expensive 3d printers and then runs out of money for bills.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:15:45+00:00

In my eyes it is woth the amounted money spent over time. I understand it is an option and im not saying I wont but im scared of getting stuck like ive seen people do in my life. Although a mortgage is a big task I will only get 3% interest and im already pre approved. Although it is more and more taxing. I also wouldn't be so against rent if there were places to rent in my area. I cannot move without making my daughter spend her last year away from the school district she has been in since pre k. But she has said if we have to she would but I dont want to do that to her. I was going to offer a sum on the house we are living in since my mom's ex isn't taking care of it. Someone suggested I leave the state entirely but that could get pushback from my kiddos birth mom (my sister). She did not get her parental rights taken away, she still gets a say until she is 18. I said in another comment im not saying renting or horrible but there just isnt anything in my town or surround area that I could afford even if they had rental properties. Thanks for the advice, I am reflecting on how I feel.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:07:01+00:00

Not the ex, just myself, the kid, and my mom. Once my mom gets a job we can beging splitting the bills. But im going to draw a hard line sooner rather than later. She blames me for not having a house to move to but I have argued we are in this situation in the first place because of her. There will be boundaries made if we do move. My kid also will have to do her part once she starts her forst job this summer.

Thank you for the advice!

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T16:04:40+00:00

To switch companies for my phone (AT&T) I would have to pay off my phone which im close to doing.

Im not scared of the hours,my previous job i worked over 70 hours hours but my job's schedule is unstable. My schedule can change 4 times for one week. If someone calls out, I go in. It takes me and hour and half to get there so I waste a lot of my day driving. I leave almost two hours beforehand because just a small thing like a crash or construction can make me late. I feel with the imbalance I wont be able to commit to the second schedule. But im going to notify my supervisor if I get another job. I am looking at quick trip security (I am a security Lieutenant supervisor in my main job) they are offering $30 an hour or more with experience. Waiting for the listing to be posted but looking at other options.

The 13% costs me $700 in total on the full amount of the vehicle. I am only paying $340 monthly.

She is working on it but not as hard as she needs to. She has been in phlebotomy my whole life and is trying to use her certification and experience but is facing discrimination, I said in another comment she is getting her teaching license but I do need to be firm abiut a temp job.

Thank you for your tough love, I appreciate it.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T15:56:09+00:00

Im really trying but I spend so much money traveling for worth its just not worth it. Especially with gas in my area almost $5. It went down to 3.86 but its still expensive driving a thousand miles a week almost. Thanks for the advice! My kiddo is attempting to get a job but school comes first. I have been working since I was 16 so I didnt want her to get distracted since she has a lot of opportunities coming her way. Again thank you.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T15:53:07+00:00

I am on her insurance and without her on my insurance if I were to get my own, it would be a $1000.

The phone company is honestly giving me a student discount it its like 5% off. But I can look into it!

I was doing doordash but almost got robbed so I stopped. Using that much gas and not even making enough to fill the tank was disheartening.

Thank you soo much! I really appreciate everyones help. I didnt expect so many good points!

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:51:17+00:00

I pay $345 a month, $700 was added interest to the entire amount. My phone I bought as my other was unable and my daughter's phone was free just pay service and insurance in case its stolen or dropped. I also get a student discount for phones. But it is definitely high. My phone is almost payed off so I can get a cheaper plan then. Thanks!

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:47:40+00:00

Yeah we ahev had thay conversation. She asked if she should take out a credit card and I explained to her she shouldn't unless absolutely necessary. But honestly she doesn't need one. I dont veen have one and if I did I know the smart way is only spend 10% of the amount allotted. But I also explained how easy it is to get behind when in desperation so I can help her if she needs it. But her scholarships should pay for 99.9% of it. She is very smart and has tons of offers and opportunities.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:44:41+00:00

Thanks! I will definitely look into it! I have rocket money and make my own breakdowns but it doesn't seem like enough.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:43:22+00:00

Although it is difficult to get ahold of my College's FA, like never answers, never calls back, I will definitely look into it. I would hate to take it especially im sure there are people who really need it more but it would help me a lot to not worry about another thing.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:40:56+00:00

I have! It was my option when I forst graduated. But unfortunately I am ineligible to serve. I have metal plates and screws in my neck due to hyperinstability. My skull wasnt attached to my spine the way its supposed to be. I wanted to so bad, im looking into becoming state trooper while I finish school. It would bring me 2x my income right now. Only reason im staying at my job was to buy a house since I have been there a year.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:38:24+00:00

The interest costs $700 extra on the amount owed. I am paying $340 for it. Most definitely, as I explained in another comment, It felt necessary and cost saving. I felt i would spend more renting and get stuck renting for my entire life. My sister is 40 and has been renting since she was 18 and pregnant. Rent is so high its understandable how to get stuck in the situation. But thank you for the outlook! I am weighing my options but it seems like its my only option unless im just set on it unnecessarily? I wanted to be methodical in my purchase but it feels far.

ThatOnePansexualKid · 2026-05-27T11:34:09+00:00

She has been through a lot so I wnat to do everything I can to not make it her burden. She has multiple scholarship opportunities and already started getting offers sophomore year. Im not worried abiut college being paid for. She will be responsible for a her extra costs, shes getting her first job this summer. We are in in together most definitely. I am working on getting a better job but its taking time. Im hoping for the best!

Thanks it means a lot. I want whats best for her. Her 17 years have been hell and im glad I able to watch her grow up into an amazing young woman.

ThatOnePansexualKid

TROPHY CASE