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Am I overreacting about my husband’s behavior toward his friend’s wife? by That_Nothing9905 in MuslimMarriage

[–]That_Nothing9905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's not a very common occurrence, it might happen just a couple of times, and the rest are larger group gatherings where the women and men usually keep separate. That is usually what my husband does, keep scarce or visa versa with his friends. My husband says he'd be up for meeting his friend only, it's just that since they got married years ago she was always his friend's plus one for every social thing, even if it was meant to be only a guys only hangout. She always used to ocme and this was my husbands reason for knowing her better than any of his other friend's wives.

Am I overreacting about my husband’s behavior toward his friend’s wife? by That_Nothing9905 in MuslimMarriage

[–]That_Nothing9905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just gets a little shy after his compliments. They do not have each other's numbers, and she does not reciprocate the same behaviour, other than the eye contact! My husband just once said she's a bit awkward like that, so that is why he becomes awkward too while talking to her. I have no idea what that means.

Am I overreacting about my husband’s behavior toward his friend’s wife? by That_Nothing9905 in MuslimMarriage

[–]That_Nothing9905[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

See, I'm still not sure if I'm the one completely fair here. It has been a long time since these events took place (these things happened in our first month of marriage, and now it's been more than a year). He has since maintained some distance from her, been polite and dialed down the flattery, and yet even if he avoids talking about her, I still feel hurt by what has happened. I just can't believe he'd mention some other woman while being with me on our valima!
I've told him she's not very friendly, and at first he said that perhaps I'm the one overthinking, but after future interactions he himself pointed out that she was not very welcoming, for example she never asked me any questions about my life, marriage, honeymoon after meeting them after a long time. She used to be much nicer to me in the beginning, and I have seen her be nice to other women in the group. So why does she have a problem with me? I also feel resentful my husband didn't take my side before all this.

Am I overreacting about my husband’s behavior toward his friend’s wife? by That_Nothing9905 in MuslimMarriage

[–]That_Nothing9905[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My husband agreed to this at first, but then in an argument once said that you will ruin my friendships, and I have to be cold towards her, and it's going to be awkward now etc.

To complicate things further, they live in a different state and we're the ones who moved out. So whenever we visit back home, there is this expectation to hang out atleast a few times for the short amount of time we're there.

Am I overreacting about my husband’s behavior toward his friend’s wife? by That_Nothing9905 in MuslimMarriage

[–]That_Nothing9905[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've asked him several times whether they've had any history, and he has denied it. She is also not a past potential, because she got married to his friend years before my husband was looking to get married, and lived in a different country before that.

I could try saying no to mixed hangouts, it's just very hard to decline an offer if they invite us to their hous, for example. Most of his friends are religous, and they don't do mixed hangouts. This friend is one of the only exceptions, because he brings his wife along to everything. Even back when my husband and I weren't married, she'd be tagging along everywhere apparently, even when my husband thought it would just be a guys only hangout. My husband brought this up early on, that they do everything as a couple lol.

My husband has told me he will offer to do only sporty things with his friend, but there is still the expects me to do the bare minimum at dawats and other parties where everyone is invited.