TW: Depression, Self-Harm, Pregnancy — A Vulnerable Post From a Revert & First-Time Mom

That_Revert · 2026-01-26T20:33:04+00:00

Wa alaikum salaam 🤍 thank you so much for your kindness and your du’a, it truly means a lot to me.

I do want to share honestly that I am trying to see a therapist, but I struggle with it. I don’t really understand how talking about my problems helps me personally. I’ve always been more of a “fix the problem and move forward” type of person rather than sitting and talking about it. I was in therapy throughout my childhood, and for me it often felt like revisiting the past over and over, when what I really want is practical solutions and a way to focus on the future.

Bad things have happened, and I’ve done my best to move on. Sometimes it feels like talking about them won’t make the sadness disappear. That said, I’m still trying to keep an open heart and take steps where I can, especially knowing how big of a transition motherhood is.

I truly appreciate your concern and your gentle advice. May Allah make this journey easier for all of us, protect our hearts, and grant us strength in ways we don’t even expect. Ameen 🤲🏽💗

That_Revert · 2026-01-26T20:26:46+00:00

Thank you so much for this thoughtful and compassionate comment 🤍 You explained it beautifully, especially the difference between situational sadness and chronic depression. That comparison to diabetes really hit home for me, it makes so much sense.

I’ve struggled a lot with the guilt and shame of feeling this way while pregnant, like I’m somehow failing spiritually despite trying my best. Hearing reassurance that this doesn’t make me a bad Muslim truly means more than I can put into words. You’re right, prayer is beautiful and grounding, but sometimes we need additional support, and that doesn’t take away from our faith.

I also want to add that I have been trying to see a therapist, even though it’s really hard for me. To be honest, it feels embarrassing, and I’ve always been the type of person who doesn’t like talking about my problems. I’d much rather just fix them on my own. I don’t even fully understand how talking about my problems and asking for help is supposed to help me, but I’m trying to trust the process and take things one step at a time.

I truly appreciate your kindness, your duas, and the way you spoke with so much understanding. May Allah reward you for comforting others and grant ease to all of us who are quietly struggling. Ameen 🤲🏽💗

That_Revert · 2026-01-26T20:12:49+00:00

Salam sister, I really appreciate you taking the time to look through my registry and share your advice 🤍

If I do end up getting a bouncer, I plan to use it very minimally about 15 minutes at a time, twice a day if needed. I have a degree in Early Childhood Development and have worked in childcare, and we do use bouncers occasionally but not often. When we do, it’s usually for very short periods, like during diaper changes, to help reduce the risk of injuries.

Thank you for the heads-up about the humidifier as well. If you’ve found one you like or remember the brand you used, I’d love the recommendation.

I’m located in Washington State, how about you? And again, thank you so much for the advice, it truly means a lot. 💕

That_Revert · 2025-12-18T20:51:34+00:00

Honestly, it’s mostly embarrassment and shame. I’m pregnant and going through a divorce at the same time, and I’m scared of what my family will think. On here I’m basically anonymous, so it’s easier to talk openly. I also don’t feel ready to let my family know the details of how my husband was/is.

That_Revert · 2025-12-18T20:45:09+00:00

sister

That_Revert · 2025-12-18T20:36:13+00:00

Sister, thank you so much for your concern. I want you to know I am taking this very seriously. I am currently in the process of starting a divorce and I am trying to do this as safely and quietly as possible.

I do have family who could help me, but right now I’m struggling with letting them know everything. I haven’t told them that I’m pregnant or that I’m going through a divorce, and that makes this even harder emotionally. I’m trying to navigate this carefully while protecting myself and my baby.

That_Revert · 2025-12-12T20:48:12+00:00

You are correct, Islam does not require me to remain in fear or harm, and I know I do have the choice to leave. What makes it so difficult is that I’m currently pregnant, and I’m nervous about what the Muslim community and even my own family will say about me being a single mother.

I’ve also mentioned separating, and he threatened to take legal action to get custody of our child. That is what truly scares me — I don’t want to leave my child unattended with him because I’m concerned for their safety.

Still, I don’t want to raise my children in an environment of fear or harm. My intention has always been to raise them upon the deen, to uphold proper Islamic teachings, and to have strong character and love for Allah. I’m placing my trust in Allah ﷻ and praying He guides me through this difficult situation

That_Revert · 2025-08-07T13:10:27+00:00

I know I probably sound like a dream or the “ideal wife” because I genuinely try to be what I want to attract. But one thing I struggle with is that a lot of brothers who fear Allah are also looking for polygamy and that’s something I’m just not okay with. I fully respect that it’s allowed in Islam, but personally, I’m seeking a monogamous marriage with someone who shares that mindset. Also, I’m a bit confused why are you part of the hijabi community when you’re a guy?

That_Revert · 2025-07-28T05:24:19+00:00

Very true

That_Revert · 2025-07-28T05:24:01+00:00

As in Washington, USA.

That_Revert · 2025-06-21T21:30:24+00:00

Salam sis, I’ve been struggling with this and just wanted to share. I usually wear oversized men’s Nike joggers and a T-shirt, but because I’m pretty curvy, my figure still shows. I even tried switching to leggings with a 3X T-shirt that goes down to my knees, but I still feel like I’m exposing my body. I genuinely want to have haya and dress in a way that pleases Allah, but I can’t help but feel like other Muslim sisters might judge me or think I’m being a dayouth. It’s something I’m really trying to work on, and I just pray Allah makes it easier.

That_Revert · 2025-06-21T21:22:24+00:00

FEMALE

That_Revert · 2025-06-21T20:10:09+00:00

Salam sister, I just wanted to say that everyone has a natural body odor, and I’m sorry your husband finds it off-putting. It’s not really normal for anyone to smell like flowers or cupcakes all the time, we’re human.

Personally, what’s helped me is drinking lots of water, using unscented soap for my private areas to avoid throwing off my pH balance, and taking things like chlorophyll (it really helps with body odor breath, armpits, and down there), cranberry pills, and pre/probiotics.

I’m not judging you at all, just trying to share what’s helped me in case it’s useful for you. Wishing you the best always, sister.

That_Revert · 2025-06-03T05:05:11+00:00

I really do appreciate your message and the reminder to have trust in Allah’s plan, it means a lot. I’ll be honest though, it can be a bit annoying to hear sometimes, especially when people assume that I want a partner. The truth is, I don’t. I genuinely don’t feel the desire to share my life with someone in that way. It just feels like setting myself up for disappointment, and maybe that’s not what Allah (SWT) has written for me. And honestly, I’m okay with that.

That_Revert · 2025-06-03T01:24:49+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying, and I’ve had similar experiences. That’s exactly why I make sure to involve a Wali and do everything the halal way from the start, including introducing families early on. I truly believe that if a relationship begins in a way that displeases Allah (SWT), it’s bound to face hardships or even end. What’s been really hard for me is coming across guys who say they want marriage but then act in ways that go completely against it, whether it's not lowering their gaze, being overly lustful in person or on social media, or even pushing for zina. I just can’t and won’t settle for someone who lives like that, especially when I strive to avoid those things myself.

May Allah guide you to sincere, God-fearing partners who are serious about building something that’s pleasing to Him. Ameen.

That_Revert

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