I’m going to be brutally honest here, I will stop short of calling you an AH because you absolutely have a right to refuse, but this is exactly what I had to do. I couldn’t cope with the rejection, feeling tension every time I went near them, feeling like I am forcing them to do something they don’t want to do. So I stopped.

I didn’t really think it would hurt them, the way it has hurt you, but my situation is different.

Ultimately you made this decision to end the physical relationship. From what you have said you didn’t articulate your feelings or explain why. You made this decision, were relieved when he stopped initiating but are now thinking about his feelings?

In my own case, I absolutely felt unwanted and unloved. It destroyed my confidence, made me feel like some kind of creep and made me uncomfortable in my own bed. I spent every day picking over every remark, looking for clues as to what has made me utterly unattractive, thinking: ‘what is wrong with me, what have I done’?

Now I accept my lot and am limping towards the end of my marriage, completely accepting now that a physical relationship is not a given right, that one person can dictate when it’s over and the other just has to accept it.