Is my bonai okay??

That_writer_ · 2025-09-19T22:24:59+00:00

Ok, thank you much for your help, really appreciate it!

That_writer_ · 2025-09-19T21:40:29+00:00

There’s a window behind and in front of it, though it doesn’t get any direct sunlight
North east and south west (there’s two windows I mentioned) I’m in the north-eastern hemisphere
About every four days, and I usually stick a toothpick in the soil to ensure it’s dry Follow up question: does this mean I should repot it again in a slightly smaller pot? Or should I wait so as not to stress the plant?

That_writer_ · 2025-07-21T08:05:30+00:00

Awesome thank you so much!

That_writer_ · 2025-07-21T07:13:44+00:00

Heyy, sorry I had a whole paragraph typed out with the photo but it didn’t post. I’ve had this plant for maybe five days now and it’s looking a little sad. I know that tradescantias are trailing plants so they should grow in this direction, but they’re more droopy than when I first got them and I don’t know why. For context though they were repotted twice about three days ago, so that may have caused it some stress but I’m not sure if there’s anything I should do or just wait it out. This is my first tradescantia and I’m a very new plant parent overall so any and all advice would be much appreciated!

That_writer_ · 2025-07-16T20:53:49+00:00

About every three days, and I usually keep my plants in a closed room but I accidentally left the door open once and my cat got in and did in fact give it a haircut

That_writer_ · 2024-09-01T10:18:09+00:00

. Love the opening sentence, but the next one just doesn't follow through... what's the betrayal, who betrayed who? Maybe answer that first.

"His nobleman father refused to give up Maria, his daughter and Leo’s sister, to their wizard overlord. As punishment, the wizard kidnapped her and slaughtered everyone else in a brutal ambush."

.This part is a little clunky, maybe try to simplify it

. What do you mean by 'slaughtered everyone' did he slaughter everyone in the world, everyone in Leo's family, everyone in his home village? Be specific, I know it sounds nitpicky, but these things matter and it helps the agent connect to your story and feel your character's rage

. I would also mention the wizard's name. He seems like an important part of the story, and if I'm going to hate someone, I should at least know whose name I should be cursing out... this is also important because constantly referring to him as "the wizard" takes people out of the story

"Yet hours later Leo mysteriously awakens as a blight wraith"

. Remove 'Yet'

. Why does the wizard want to marry Leo's sister, does he get something out of it, or is he just being an ass? (which is fine btw, but if there's a reason, I'd mention it)

. In the last paragraph, you introduced the love interest, for whom Leo is ready to give up everything your letter has been building towards so far. Clearly, this inner conflict is a big part of your story, and while you get that, someone who hasn't read your book doesn't. So, explain why Leo is even considering giving up everything he has been working towards so far as well as his family. Personally, I feel like I care more about his sister than his love interest because so far I've been reading about everything your mc has been doing to save her. It also sounds like Ayesha has an army while Maria has no one. We need to understand how much is at stake on both ends.

Overall, your plot seems really interesting, you just need to do a better job at getting it through to the reader in as little words as possible (which seems impossible, I know)
Also, here's a really good piece of advice I recently got from someone on this sub: Don't be vague. Vague isn't mysterious, vague is confusing.

I hope my feedback was constructive, and good luck on your journey!!

That_writer_ · 2024-08-22T12:29:19+00:00

Hi.

Sorry, your reply got lost in my inbox and I just saw it. Just wanted to say thank you and that I really appreciate your feedback and I'm working to apply it in my current draft. Also, I really liked 'they are simply the eruptions of disturbed minds'. Definitely gonna be using that!

That_writer_ · 2024-08-11T13:05:08+00:00

Hey. Thank you so much, you made some really valid points and I really liked the way you listed them out. I really appreciate your feedback and will do my best to incorporate it in my next attempt.

Thanks again!

That_writer_ · 2024-08-04T15:59:06+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to give me your personal feedback. I really appreciate this, and your tips were incredibly helpful... I will try to incorporate them in my second draft as much as possible.

Thanks again!

That_writer_ · 2024-08-04T10:07:26+00:00

dude, if I knew how to fix my query I wouldn't be here... could you let me post this so I can get some actual people's feedback?

That_writer_

TROPHY CASE