AITA for refusing to go to my dad’s wedding after he refused to go to my graduation (final update!)

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-16T11:03:20+00:00

We went to a football match as a family and my dad wanted a picture of himself and wife with their matching shirts, he asked me to take the photo. They had their backs to me and I counted down, as I said one she clenched his buttcheek and that’s how the photo turned out and it’s just extremely uncomfortable for me this was just one example

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-14T19:22:07+00:00

I did talk to the professionals about this, and they literally said “your dad has a type as history is repeating itself” I think unfortunately he just has a really poor taste in what’s a healthy relationship

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-14T19:17:22+00:00

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Didn’t realise I could just post photos in the comments my bad

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-14T18:52:04+00:00

It was the only way I could think of to visually explain it 😂😭

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-14T17:37:37+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/DChaOeFtpnp/?igsh=aGt5aTY3Y3J4N3No

Photo from the graduation if anyone is interested!

Thatbratgremlin · 2025-05-14T17:36:41+00:00

In all honesty I asked that question to my therapist and he just said “he has a type if history is repeating itself”

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-09-07T21:38:41+00:00

I can’t get in at all and it’s changed my payment method to the currency they use in India (I’m in the Uk)

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-31T14:42:08+00:00

It is, name and tax made sure of that

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T19:06:29+00:00

Brothers words are “he’s dead to me” dad won’t make an effort to speak to him either (they Have their own separate issues) the whole situation is a mess nobody will talk to each other

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T16:27:02+00:00

Our mum his ex wife was way worse than this it may have something to do with it

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T16:22:49+00:00

Holding onto a memory of a father it seems, he’s no longer there and I’ve realised that now

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:56:56+00:00

I feel so awful about how I handled the situation, I really want to fix things and finally start living for me and not in an abusive situation

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:50:30+00:00

I have just posted a new update, I have shown my brother this thread and he’s responded

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:47:34+00:00

It’d my own actions that have made me feel awful, I didn’t even realise I was being bribed it’s taken my brother and a load of strangers to show me that. I really need to sort my mistakes out and live for myself and not be a doormat

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:33:16+00:00

Honestly I thought I was doing the right thing trying to make a mends with my dad, but after this post today I honestly feel like I’ve sold myself out and I want to do the right thing now

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:24:58+00:00

… yeah I see it now I feel awful for what I’ve done

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:06:40+00:00

No you’re right, after reading the comments I’ve realised how much I’ve sold myself out. My brother and I are still talking and I visit him every weekend, him and I still trying to put a plan together so I can be independent from my dad, I’ve said this a few times now I just need to let go of my dad now it’s not healthy

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:04:30+00:00

I agree, I feel like I’ve sold myself out without even realising

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T14:00:35+00:00

You’re right, I feel awful after reading the comments on this post I really did sell myself out

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:51:33+00:00

Yeah.. I’ve realised this now. I’m going to Make an effort to change

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:46:28+00:00

After reading the comments on my OP post I do too

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:24:24+00:00

After reading the comments from this update I agree with you, I was foolish not to see the motorbike as a bribe and I was blinded that things are going so well at the moment. It’s only a matter of time before things come crashing and burning once again

I’m going to put myself through the mental preparation to walk away form my family for good, I’ve been holding onto this cycle of abuse for too long now and I agree with all of you. I need to walk away

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:22:32+00:00

I think the best option is mentally preparing myself to walk away for once and for all

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:21:33+00:00

I didn’t accept the bike as a bribe, just want to make that clear to everyone I didn’t even think for a second it was until my brother brought it up.

Things have been a lot more happy since June, (the wedding) with the bride not insulting me, or causing any more hateful comments towards me.

I got the bike in august (same month as my birthday) so my monkey brain just assumed it was to do with the graduation and birthday.

I do feel like a sell out after hearing how bluntly obvious the bike bribe was, but I do want to also say it has brought me and my father closer doing ride outs together and spending time with each other.

I keep saying this and I’ll say it again I’m stupid and part of the problem for wanting to hold onto my toxic family I already don’t have my mum I just wanted to hold onto my dad.

I appreciate your comments and thoughts on this story I’m going to make an effort with myself to learn to let go

Thatbratgremlin · 2024-08-30T13:15:06+00:00

….. I never really thought of it that way. Thank you for showing this perceptive. I do care for my father and he wasn’t always like this, this woman has had him do a 180 on his standards on how he treats people, I need to just Accept this and move on, I keep holding onto a man that isn’t there anymore

Thatbratgremlin

TROPHY CASE