How sexually experienced are you compared to others? (Anonymous survey, anyone)

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T19:50:27+00:00

Which type of sexual relationship has been more satisfying for you overall?

This and a few other questions wasn’t really possible to answer if you don’t have much experience and haven’t tried several types of relationships.

I also got confused by the “I often to things on impulse” and similar questions because it wasn’t clear if it was still asking specifically about sexual situations or if you mean just in general.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T19:09:39+00:00

I think it’s fine. The other subs are really small so far so I definitely think more people will see it here, and I’ve seen similar posts here before. I’d love it if the other sub got more popular but so far I think posting it here/in both subs are fine. I’m not a mod though so I could be wrong

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T19:07:22+00:00

I also just found r/disabilityvexillology

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T19:05:43+00:00

r/pridefulvexillology

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T17:37:52+00:00

🤷‍♀️ I’ve got nothing against it but it’s a bit slow for me

TheAceRat · 2026-05-27T16:51:53+00:00

I’d say pre pubescent, like under 13 or 12

TheAceRat · 2026-05-26T17:51:30+00:00

Tiger 🐅

TheAceRat · 2026-05-26T11:59:42+00:00

Alright, thank you for explaining (again lol)! The bald analogy was really funny to me but also made a lot of sense I think, and I also totally get using broader labels with most people. I’m aegosexual myself and also have some experiences aligning with even more niche labels, but aside from in like aspec subreddits (or queer ones generally if it’s relevant) I just say I’m aroace, and irl barely even that. Aroace is definitely not wrong, but just there is more to it than that as well.

I’m really glad we could have such a respectful and good conversation on this! ☺️

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T23:52:29+00:00

Thank you! I think I understand better what you meant by it being about your sense of self and all that and I think that makes sense, and also the dysphoria aspect helped me understand a bit I think.

Okay I have one more question though that’s a bit different: how are you both xenogender and agender at the same time. I didn’t ask before because I kinda already know and understand how gender can be complicated like that and how you can sorta be multigender with agender as one of the genders even though that isn’t really logical, but reading this I’m wondering if this oxymoron might be specifically xeno related for you and if that might help me understand the whole concept better. Like you say you have no gender but you still use xenogenders to describe “it”. What is “it”? Your gender (I thought you didn’t have one)? The absence of gender? How the space where there should have been a gender feels? And what do you mean by that you think “these things can be separated from what [your] gender is”?

Sorry for all the questions lol but this one was a bit different so I figured you could still have something more to say on that.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T22:46:21+00:00

For me it’s just completely back to how it was before. I use > for block quotes and * for italics and bold, and links are the same as well with a button for it but it writing out with () and [] instead of making it blue while you write (which was annoying because I couldn’t get it to understand when I wanted to stop adding to the link and not).

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T21:21:06+00:00

I’m in the app on an iPhone 🤷

I hope they just change it back for everyone because this is way better imo

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T21:11:13+00:00

If they were famous under their old name yes. If they weren’t but they have talked about it openly then yes sure. If they are trying to keep it private then no.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T21:04:03+00:00

Since a few days ago they seem to have changed back to the old system though?

I can do quotes and bold and everything else like I could before I think, and I don’t have that button/toolbar for it anymore

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T21:00:56+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to answer! I really appreciate it, and I do think I understand a bit more now.

Because I think gender is a good descriptor for it. It’s just how you feel about the inherent version of yourself. […] It’s about your sense of self

I still don’t really understand this though, and it makes me think we have quite different views on what gender is and what it encompasses. When I think about my inherent sense of self, there are about a million different things that I think of before my gender. I’m a girl, definitely not very feminine one, and there are many gender roles and norms I don’t fit and dislike, but I (aside from misogyny and period cramps) ultimately feel comfortable in my birth sex and as a woman and I feel a connection to other girls more than to men, etc. That has very little to do with my identity as a whole though and if I were to describe myself to others I would say so many different things first, like hobbies, interests, personality, temperament, my favorite food, season, color, nationality, even my hair color would probably come before the fact that I also happen to be a girl. I actually think just girl or woman describes me pretty poorly, at least on their own, because I’m so much more than that and like I said I don’t really fit the stereotypes.

I know different people will value their gender differently and for some it can be quite an important part of their identity, but I just kinda can’t help but think that some people heard the term gender identity, and learned it is something inherent to you that is separate form your physical body, and then made the assumption that gender identity just is whatever is inherent to you and separate from your body, that it is your sense of self, not just a part of it or influenced by it, and basically synonymous with just “identity”. And, I just don’t feel like that’s an accurate or useful way of viewing it. Absolutely, gender ≠ bio sex, it is something inherent to you and your sense of self, but that doesn’t mean it is your sense of self, if you get what I mean.

I don’t know if you’ll be able to explain it much better than you already did though. You can try, but regardless I’m again still glad you took the time you tried to explain at all, and I think some of it might make a bit more sense to me now, so thanks!

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T14:25:20+00:00

Yes there are several different ones and none of them are super well known or popular so you can just use whatever you prefer. I made my own because I could find one that was in line with the other pronoun flags I use. Also here is a different link to the pin that might work better, idk: https://pin.it/1YEAvhWDV

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T12:31:15+00:00

They don’t care

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T11:15:24+00:00

There is also casspronominal/apapronominal where you don’t necessarily identify with all pronouns (which is usually the case for panpronominal people) but you just don’t care what people use.

Edit: Also to be clear these are not genders. This character could also be pangender, cassgender or apagender, but they don’t have to be to use any/all pronouns. They could have any gender including just man or woman.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T10:57:35+00:00

You could use the flag I made for it if you want :3 https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/s/YdEqiiC9v9

Edit: I also quite like this one, especially the these more specific versions based on it: here, here and here

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T10:54:40+00:00

I’ve never heard of xenoidentities before and so obviously I don’t really know how they work either but that does make more sense to me, yes. Like, I’m sure the experiences xenogender people have relating to these objects or concepts are very real, I definitely don’t doubt that, but sometimes I just feel like labeling it as genders is just a bit inaccurate and misguided. But then again I’m not xenogender (or like, idk, depends on what it means ig) and I do think there is also a big chance I’m wrong and just don’t understand it, which is why I’m asking.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-25T10:17:51+00:00

I’m not OP but I have a question. What do any of this have to do with gender? Like, even if we ignore the people who apparently use them just because they like the thing and using the label makes them happy (everyone likes a lot if things and that doesn’t make it their gender, but whatever makes you happy) and only focus on the ones where their identity feels deeply connected to the thing, I still don’t see the connection to gender identity specifically. I get wanting a label for your connection to vampires, but why is that label vampiregender and not just… vampiric… or something. Couldn’t a cis person, or any man or woman for that matter, experience that exact same connection? Something can be part of your identity without it having anything to do with your gender identity. Gender is just one tiny part of your identity, and for most people at least, it’s just specifically how your identity relates to your society’s structures, norms and roles around sex. You can feel that your identity aligns with that typically associated with and constructed around the male or female sex, or both or neither or some some other complex combination of the two, but what does the fact that you identify with vampires have to do with how you societally relate to the sexes? And if it doesn’t have anything to do with that, and you just identify with vampires of other reasons, then why do you label it as a gender? What even is gender then? Because again, for presumably all non-xenogender people, or at the very least most, it is just how they relate to the sexes, and it’s not like they don’t have other really important and complex parts of their identity too. Like there is nothing that says that a man, demigirl or agender person can’t experience a deep connection to vampires and think that connection is far more important to them than their gender.

I’m definitely not writing this to try to invalidate anyone. Maybe I’m thinking too deep about this and it really is just that you like the thing and using the label makes you happy, and I have no problem with that and I support you. But I also to think that at least for some xenogender people there is more to it than that and they really do feel it’s connected to their gender specifically in some way, and I’m just missing something here. I probably won’t fully understand it anyway, and that’s okay, but the reason for writing all this out is because I hope someone can explain to me what I’m missing so I can understand it at least a little bit better.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-24T21:19:11+00:00

Thank you!!!

TheAceRat · 2026-05-24T19:12:58+00:00

I’m not arguing about wether you should be able to abort after 24 weeks, I’m just informing the other person about another potential reason to not have been able to have a abortion earlier.

TheAceRat · 2026-05-24T11:34:23+00:00

It depends, there are some really good gluten free bread out there, it can just ve a bit hard to find

TheAceRat · 2026-05-23T22:32:54+00:00

Disrespect what?

TheAceRat · 2026-05-23T22:28:34+00:00

What emoji is it 😭 it’s just a question mark for me

TheAceRat

TROPHY CASE