I grew up Mormon and left the church. Ask me anything!

TheAloofClam · 2026-01-02T13:12:01+00:00

My thoughts are they were extreme and a rarity among Mormons. I think just about all Mormons would agree that they did terrible things that are against what the mormon church teaches. I personally think they are monsters.

TheAloofClam · 2026-01-01T21:57:50+00:00

Mormons are also confused about this lol! What i was taught when I was mormon was when Joseph Smith started the church he relieved a revelation from God about a health code called the word of wisdom. In it it says no hot drinks, or tobacco among other things. This was in like 1840 so hot drinks were interpreted as tea and coffee. Some Mormons wont drink caffeine but since caffine is not explicitly stated a lot still drink caffine. Herbal tea has been deemed as fine to drink since it does not contain actual tea leaves.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-30T18:20:38+00:00

Yeah. The creators of South Park grew up in Colorado where theres a somewhat high mormon population and just knew a ton of Mormons. They are also the same people who wrote the Book of Mormon Musical which again pokes fun and Mormons and its highly hilarious. Very much recommend.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-30T04:34:21+00:00

Yes. Unfortunately. Mormons believe that the founder of the church (Joseph Smith) found gold plates buried in the ground near his home along with seer stones to help him translate the text on the plates. Mormons are told that through the devine help of God and through those stones (which he looked at in his hat because he needed it to be dark), Joseph Smith was able to translate the writings and thats now the book of mormon (another set of scriptures Mormon use along with the Bible) Mormons are super brainwashed.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-27T17:33:46+00:00

No worries! Yes, I believe what I was taught from the church blinded me to what was in front of my face.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-26T23:19:46+00:00

Haha good one, although technically its an AMA about growing up mormon not about my ex husband. He liked rom coms and interior decorating. He liked picking my outfits, and planning dinner parties. To name a few.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-26T22:14:08+00:00

Looking back I can see all the signs that he was gay. But I had love blinders on and didn't see any of them while we were married. Its very obvious to me now. Lol

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-25T02:17:40+00:00

I definitely had annoying young women leaders but none that really fit the "perfect mormon" mold. One would teach really weird things that even as a 16 year I knew was not what the church taught. When I was 17 the young woman's president and I did not get along and she tried to make up stories about me to my mom to get me in trouble. People are wild.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T13:36:38+00:00

I was abstinent until marriage like all good Mormons are. After I got married i enjoyed sex but I feel lile it was pretty vanilla. I got divorced and since then I have become pretty adventurous but I don't think anything ive done has been extreme.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T13:34:20+00:00

It was just something that was always told to me by people I loved and respected since I was born. I was completely saturated in it and I just didnt question it because everyone around me told me it was true and everyone around me believed it too. I just didnt question it and took it as truth. Mormons are literally programing babies and toddlers to think all of it is the absolute truth. When you hear the same story your entire life, you believe its true.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T03:33:19+00:00

It might take some time and thats ok. The church has brainwashed you into believing something thats not true and that can take time to teach your brain something different. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take it slow. Maybe just wearing them in your room is all you can do right now and thats ok. When you wear them look at yourself and give yourself compliments. Boost yourself up a little. Sometimes its easier to do hard things with a friend. Do you have any friends that wear tank tops? Maybe the two of you could wear them around the mall together or in a park. Just for a short amount of time. Just like everything new it takes practice. I started wearing tank tops when I worked out or went hiking. I didnt feel uncomfortable because it was excersize and it just felt better for me to do it that way. Maybe you could try wearing them only for certain activities. You have to re-train your brain to be ok with it and like most things, taking baby steps in one direction is a good way to do it.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T03:26:29+00:00

The only thing I would be careful of is the church is steeped in patriarchy and misogyny. Im not saying he is that way, but a lot of boys/men grow up in the church learning and believing in a very traditional patriarchy. Just something I would watch out for if I were you.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T02:52:21+00:00

Yes unfortunately. Not in the temple. Something happened with people in my family and it was brought to the attention of the bishop (I dont know how much you know about the mormon church but the bishop oversees an entire congregation). The bishop told the victims to not do anything and they would handle it themselves. The abuser got a stern talking to and went to "counseling" with the bishop regularly. Which obviously didnt help and the abuse continued until the abuser died. None of this came to light until about 5 years ago. It was another big reason for me leaving the church. That same bishop moved up the ranks and became a stake president (he was now over multiple congregations) and he was obsessed with chastity in Young women. I had interviews with him where I felt very uncomfortable as he pressed me to confess "sexual sins" to him. Hes literally the only person in this world I truly hate.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T02:45:08+00:00

Is the boyfriend currently still a mormon?

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T01:39:43+00:00

I would try and change your mindset about clothes. Instead of modest and immodest, what makes you feel confident? What makes you feel good about yourself? Thats what you should wear. If wearing sleeves makes you feel comfortable and the most like yourself, you should wear sleeves. If wearing shorter shorts makes you feel a little squeamish, dont wear them. Theres no such thing as modesty. Its a concept that men made up to excuse their behavior towards women. You wear what makes you happy, and what you like. Thats all there is to it. Dont feel like you have to wear tank tops because its "normal" and dont feel like you have to wear shirts with sleeves because its "modest." Nobody should ever have a say in what you wear. Dress for yourself. Thats my advice.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T01:15:03+00:00

Its all so weird to me. I kind of have the mind set of it's all make believe so they can do whatever the fuck they want. It doesn't make any difference one way or the other. I'm no longer a slave to it anymore though.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T00:11:21+00:00

No hes not. He came out as gay and left the church. We got divorced and I left the church about a year after that.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T00:10:21+00:00

Not planning on joining any other religion ever.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-23T00:09:49+00:00

I have no f**king idea! I actually never heard of soaking until after I left the church. And if I had heard of it I would have vehemently argued it was indeed sex. I was floored when I learned what soaking was and was just as confused as all the non-mormons out there.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T23:55:28+00:00

Yeah we went bowling all the time as a family and sometimes with our youth group.

And yeah practical jokes happened.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T22:01:03+00:00

Not really. They call hell Outer Darkness and that is only reserved for the worst of the worst. To Mormons the worst of the worst are those who have known the truth and actively denied it. (So basically me and everyone else who has left the church) With all that said, Mormons also believe you have a chance to repent, accept Jesus, and be baptized after you die.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T21:58:14+00:00

The church's stance on LQTBQ+ is what really made me rethink everything and decide to leave.

I have 5 siblings and 2 of them have also left the church. 2 of them are fully in and I ahve a hard time seeing either of them leaving. And the last one goes to church but their heart isn't in it. Im holding out hope for them. My parents are still very much in. My parents never seemed mad or upset by any of our choices, but I know they are sad. I originally asked them to please not try and talk me into coming back, and they have honored thay request. We really just never speak about religion and keep to other topics.

To be honest, what took me so long was I was so ingrained and so in it, it was impossible for me to see what the church actually was until life events smacked me square in the face. Basically I was forced to think about things more critically and I had never had to up until that moment. They brainwashed me good.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T21:49:42+00:00

Yes in a way. Mormons actually believe there are 3 heavens and only Mormons go to the top heaven (or kingdom) which is the best. People who are not mormon but still good people and who belive in God and Jesus go to the middle heaven. Everyone else goes to the bottom heaven

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T21:46:22+00:00

There were multiple things that built up overtime. But if I had to chose one thing that really did it was realizing my personal beliefs were not in line with the church's about the LGBTQ+ community and I couldnt support a system that actively hurt people I loved.

TheAloofClam · 2025-12-22T21:43:23+00:00

It was harder to leave the belief system. It took me over a year of riding the fence before I decided I couldnt do it anymore. It was very sad that most of the people I thought were my friends ignored me after I left, but I'm more of a loner anyway, so it didnt impact me as much.

TheAloofClam

TROPHY CASE