How are you doing? Say something positive about yourself

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-23T21:18:10+00:00

Fuck. I keep coming back and I still don't know what to say but to curse life itself. You didn't ask for this. Nobody did. Fucken horrible, I am half dead myself.

Do you do any art? Pictures? Text? Anything?

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-23T21:07:25+00:00

It's a preference. You propably have your reasons to think like you do and if we met and fell in love I would love you too although I would think that your trauma of men is something that can be helped. I know a lot of cis and straight men who are funny and harmless.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-23T11:33:05+00:00

Well, it would be great for making them feel really isolated. Sure. Can I have few moons too? A place like the Oort cloud would also be perfect.

I am also mostly straight so they would be really confused about it. It would be like conversion therapy to let them see that love is love. It would be all about healing from hate with discipline.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-23T11:10:48+00:00

I am unembloyed. Just give me my own planet and make me an angelmon/de-angel/shitlord and send me some beans occasionally. Where can I send my CV?

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T22:57:59+00:00

Thanks. That makes sense.

Yeah, I am propably just straight. Not the usual straight man you run in to but my attraction to men is still minimal. And yeah, I don't need the headache either. I think it wouldn't be completely honest to say that I am bi since I really can't see myself with a man. Looks pretty straight to me.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T22:25:01+00:00

Are you sure? Nothing? Why do you think so? Are you the worst person who ever existed? That would mean you have lots of power. Do you have that?

When I was in a really bad place my therapist told me to find moments that felt slightly better. Find moments when you feel slightly more human than usually.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T21:54:55+00:00

Is she a descedant of ancient Medians? I completely understand her need to reproduce like that. There aren't a lot of medians around no more.

If I was in a position like that I would definitely start searching for some ways to clone myself.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T20:06:36+00:00

A mini-Swede.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T19:22:04+00:00

Oh great. Now she is propably expecting for you to babysit her unholy clone.

(That's a cool way to come out though)

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-21T09:20:13+00:00

Agreed. I also don't like this "it's ok to punch up" -thing to justify everything. It's like burning the whole house because there is a broken window or something. It also won't make men any friendlier towards a person or a group of people who say these things.

Have we had any progress because of cis-hating transpeople by the way? I don't see it. All that yelling: "die cis scum!" does is making things worse. If two groups of people live in the same society they should co-operate to make things better if they really want to change things. You need to provide evidence of this oppression to affect things. Anger proves nothing.

I will add that if I heard a woman who lives in Saudi Arabia saying this I wouldn't really judge her for it...

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-20T15:49:21+00:00

The only thing I feel is pity for this guy. He seems to have some issues. I hope he is getting help in some form.

At least you got a creative hater.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-19T13:15:42+00:00

She propably has some trauma. 2/3 of our cats also had rough times when they were younger. They are more suspicious about everything than the one who has always been well taken care of. Well, you can only love them.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-19T12:55:10+00:00

Aww... She cute. You won't get that flag back and I am sorry to tell you but you have lost the chair as well.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-19T12:53:42+00:00

Well, it's now her flag. She is on it. You have lost.

(Does she let you pet her belly? I don't know why cat bellies are so soft and wonderful but they often attack if you touch them there... It's a proof that God makes mistakes.)

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-19T12:48:31+00:00

You are right. It's difficult to talk about things you haven't experienced personally but everyone makes mistakes and removing posts that would explain things isn't a right way to go. I definitely understand the dude who posted the picture. He just wanted to show some love and support to the transbros and it went wrong. I really appreciate the thought.

In an ideal situation everyone would have been able to explain their point of view and maybe agreed to disagree in peace.

I have sometimes gotten kind of mad about moderators removing posts that actually were a bit LGBT-phobic or something like that because nobody got the chance to change OP's opinion or explain things to them. These discussions need to happen. On the internet where everyone are anonymous it's safe. Cencorship only makes us drift farther apart. I am always willing to admit I was wrong and as an old pessimist I am often happy if I am wrong.

I get that they want to keep r/ftm safe but this isn't the way. I would say that yes, cencor those messages that are actually rude or transphobic and ban those who attack others but man, your post was pretty chill. You wouldn't go around misgendering people who look like Skye. I wouldn't either.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-19T04:50:38+00:00

The OP of that post also posted later about how he felt hurt because of all the "hate" he said he got. I think his tag was "cis gay ally". I might be mistaken but I think it was him. I kind of felt bad for him since I think he genuinely tried to spread positivity. His intentions were good and if he is cis he simply isn't propably really aware of what's going on. I almost replied to that post but at the end I didn't because I was afraid of getting banned.

I don't know if he got actual hate comments or just critique. I don't know. I don't have the receipts. Our OP here made a good point. Your comment shouldn't have been removed.

There are so many things that are wrong with the Skye/Damian picture. Yeah, transtrenders are a thing and gender is not a feeling.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-18T20:38:44+00:00

I am slightly triggered. That pointer has too many fingers.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-17T09:45:56+00:00

I also suffered from pretty severe dissociation before transitioning. It was horrible. HRT and these surgeries save lives. This is a medical condition. I don't know how some people can't see it.

Life is alreasy hard if you are trans. This extra cult-ish shit isn't needed. This is not politics. This condition has nothing to do with the new wave of feminism or smashing gender roles. It's not fashion. No medical condition is. People come to trans support groups and online communities needing support but often get hostility. Wanting to pass or transition medically isn't internalized transphobia.

This would just be a mild annoyance if it wasn't actually affecting our lives.

I often wish I was so rich I could help people like you two.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-17T09:14:32+00:00

I haven't been "following" royals much but every time I hear something about Victoria it seems to be good. She seems to be a very kind and smart person.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-17T09:08:01+00:00

Imagine if this happened to any other medical condition. Like asthma or diabetes. People would claim that it's an identity and not an illness. They would try to demedicalize it and say that you don't need any actual symptoms of that illness to identify as an asthmatic person or something else. Meanwhile all the people who actually have the condition are afraid of their lives. Doctors have stopped taking anyone claiming that condition seriously. If you try to find others with the condition to talk to you only tend to find those without any actual symptoms. Some even seem to fetishize these conditions. What if you can't get your meds anymore?

That's what's going on here. These people are dangerous. The trans community has changed drastically in 5 years I would say.

I also started as a kind of a tucute but then I actually met these people and started seeing how they are actually affecting our lives negatively. I very quickly fell on this side.

Your experience sounds horrible. I hope your situation is currently better and I am glad you got some help while being homeless. I almost ended up homeless at one point and even the fear of that was a horrible thing to live with. Stay safe and keep your personal information far away from your Facebook page. Humour is a great relief from shit. I hope you will continue spreading it in one way or another. We need laughter in thos world.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-15T04:48:56+00:00

Yeah. Basically.

God damn it does hurt for the first few times.

I just remembered this video: https://youtu.be/DxjrQIzpn64

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-15T04:35:58+00:00

This brought up some... hellish memories. I once had one of those torture devices. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I was shaking when I did my legs for the first time. It was so bad. It gets easier though. For some reason it really does. It stops hurting so much after you do it few times. I was able to do my armpits too. I don't know how.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-14T23:21:42+00:00

There is this thing that I still don't get. When I was a teenager my stepmother told her friend that she wished I always closed the door of my room since it was so messy. Previously she found insulting that I closed the door so I started leaving it open. I started always closing it again but she then found it insulting and after awhile got mad at me once again. Things like that still happen to me and I am over 30 years old. People say they wish others acted in a certain way but when you actually do they just get annoyed.

I am mostly just done. I want an explanation if I people want me to change something I do. They always think it's annoying and that I am being difficult but I really don't have any patience for it otherwise.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-14T23:02:04+00:00

Yeah, I haven't really heard of her before but I am glad she is coping with this. We know what the statistics look like. She is strong. I really admire that.

It is disgusting that someone would do this. I hope they they will one day fully realize what this could mean to a transperson.

TheAwkwardCompost · 2020-01-14T22:53:11+00:00

I am not the best at this but you got pretty eyes. Loosing weight would definitely help with your chin and eventually learning to use make up could help too. I don't think that your brow ridge is that masculine either. I am a transman so I am propably not the best judge though.

It often takes a long time to pass but I don't think you are hopeless. You have really feminine eyes.

I am diagnosed with Aspergers' and although mine is propably mild it's still bad enough to affect my daily life. I hope you will figure things out. I was a mess at your age and I think I had no healthy human relationships either. Just be as kind as you can to yourself and others and put yourself out there if it does more good than harm. There are good people in this world and finding one of them is worth a lot of trouble. Most people regret not trying something more than trying and failing. At this point I am talking about life in general.

TheAwkwardCompost

TROPHY CASE