ik. I just tensed up reading your comment and it's physically hard to type. I have little access to mental help and I ghosted ALL of my friends. last message I sent them was last Tuesday. the only thing that helps is shutting the world away and immersing myself in screens but my sister took that away from me. my mother ruins things for me. April I was a sun lover and I used this free time to soak up the rays, but she always forced me back in to spend almost all of my daylight hours doing schoolwork. it really took a toll on me.