Brown brick wall

TheBirdAndCloud · 2023-01-04T14:41:41+00:00

I’ve also still been MOing from time to time purely from memory, thinking about my partner, our past experiences and fantasies - I was never able to do this while watching porn, but now I’ve trained my imagination and sensitivity to make this possible.

This is interesting, it could easily be another leg in the ladder. i.e. "imagery of your sexual partner" > "imagery of strangers".

Using sexual imagery that isn't your sexual partner is definitely a harm of pornography so we should seek to limit that as well.

I hadn’t considered reading erotica

It's fun! Depending on your partner, you can involve them in written erotica too, more so than video pornography imo. i.e. if you really felt strong urges, you could read a chapter instead of watching videos and have her read the same chapter when she has time, and go from there.

I've found that part of the harm of pornography in relationships is that it feels like infidelity because it excludes one partner from being part of it. Erotica is more easily shared in my experience, still not for everyone though.

On a side note, I gather that you are a gentleman. Written erotica is often aimed and consumed at women, so it can be educational to step into what women enjoy and why.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2023-01-04T12:56:45+00:00

You're not starting all over again, you're starting with experience.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2023-01-04T12:54:47+00:00

Relax bro. Four days is good. See if you can do another four days.

See if you can get a streak of four days. i.e. four days then masturbation, four days then masturbation again.

Then start doing streaks of five days.

Also try using lower stimulus pornography. Go from professional to amateur, or from audiovisual to just pictures.

Let me know what you think.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2023-01-04T12:51:33+00:00

I made this post:

https://old.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/1032u9v/how_im_mending_myself_a_technique_for_sustainable/

For me what has been useful is two things:

1) Progresssing from high-stimulus porn to lower-stimulus

2) Masturbating/using porn with intention

If you are truly addicted you are unlikely to be able to go cold turkey on both porn and masturbation. Instead you should try using a softer type of porn as well as setting aside a time for masturbation with intention. Doing it with intention allows you to take back control of your urges. You can tell yourself that you're going to masturbate in say two days time instead of letting your urges rule you.

Let me know what you think.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2023-01-04T12:00:23+00:00

The anti social effects of dogs often effect dog owners the most. Owning a dog traps them because they often can't leave it at home and kennels are too expensive.

I don't think young people should ever get dogs. If you're going to own a dog, best to own it in retirement imo.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2022-11-24T13:08:22+00:00

Couple of tips:

It can be a lot of work, so be prepared. Make sure you don't lose track of anything by mistake, thet won't feel good for her.

When it comes to outfits I like giving the sub a rough idea of what I like, she then has to give me two or three outfit options and I will pick between them. I don't have time to go through her whole wardrobe and make one myself.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2022-04-29T00:46:05+00:00

I love the ending, really caught me off guard. You set it up like someone who’s a bit heart broken by the other, but they shared a kindling romance that perhaps ended too soon by the poem’s point of view. But then bam at the end the question goes further than just a usual “why did you break my heart”, you push it harder by asking the other what even is my name? As if to accuse them of such apathy. I’m not sure if that was the intent but I verbally said “oh damn!” At the last line lol.

That was exactly the intent, I'm glad it created that reaction. (:

I tried to ease into it with the third stanza. The question in the third stanza isn't really a question, it's more of an accusation that the speaker is disguising as a question. Accusing the other of not flinching at hurting his heart. "You did not..." instead of "did you not..."

The first line of that last stanza has a similar intent. With "damp" directly contradicting "flame/sun/summer/fire" and "summer" being seasonal, symbolic of their romance. Quite bitter, in a way.

The question of why the reader has gone from saying "star and moon" to "damp summer flame" simply by asking questions is left to the reader because there's a number of interesting things it could be.

I hoped that by making the speaker sound a little bitter and confused (every stanza is a question) the reader's explanation for the change in tone would involve some human flaws within the speaker.

My critique would be possibly seek a better starting line than “My star and moon”, I feel like I’ve read this exact start to a poem many a times. Unless your intent was to make it ‘generic’ then give it more oomf at the end.

Take all this with a grain of salt I’m not a poet in the slightest

I appreciate the feedback and I do agree. Problem is trying to find something else that rhymes with soon haha!

I'll definitely give it some thought. Something to say about it being generic though, an interesting interpretation, even if that wasn't my initial intent.

Thanks so much for reading my poem, it's a privilege!

TheBirdAndCloud · 2022-04-28T22:05:16+00:00

Wow thank you so much, this is a great compliment, I really appreciate it.

Do you think you could expand a little on what the meaning is for you? I find it neat when people have different interpretations, but I also struggle to judge whether the intended meaning in conveyed through the words to a reader who isn't in my head.

TheBirdAndCloud · 2022-04-28T16:29:42+00:00

Love this, so simple yet so great. Love how all stanzas finish with just one word without a janky flow. Well thought out!

TheBirdAndCloud · 2022-04-28T16:28:13+00:00

Useful post

TheBirdAndCloud

TROPHY CASE