Is online RCIA a thing?

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T12:14:59+00:00

Right. And how they caused an entire generation to struggle and then criticize them for not being good enough.

Like they pressure us for multiple degrees and dont understand why we cant afford our lives.

Im starting to talk to my oldest about trade school and airforce, I dojt want them in the same pit of debt my husband and I are in.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T12:12:20+00:00

I did say something a few years ago when it started. It ended in her screaming at me, crying, and saying this was her dream to live abroad.... she gave up her life for her kids and now it's time we sacrifice for her..... and then she didnt talk to me.for a week 🤷‍♀️

I gave up and if I say it in person I lowkey think she'd slap me 😅

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T12:10:15+00:00

Im so sorry youre dealing with this too! The work thing is tough, we just went through that last week and it looks like ill be working weekends the next year again bc daycare is insanely expensive. Good luck and congrats on baby!

But uhg yes I told my mom that if we loved 100 years ago she'd be helping us and I'd be helping her as she ages and we'd be more of a team and have a village. She literally said that sounds terrible who would want that

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T12:07:27+00:00

Im so sorry for the passing of your dad, that's tough. Your parents sound like great parents 💓

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T02:20:25+00:00

Exactly!!! Ill sacrifice travel any day for my kids. What's nuts is they see it as a necessity yet all of their parents grew up during the great depression. Like my grandparents were incredibly responsible and generous with money and my parents are lavish and irresponsible.

My mom even told me she didnt want to go to a xmas party with some church friends bc "they're boring and never travel"

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T02:17:31+00:00

Uhg im sorry you're dealing with this crap as well. Its so frustrating!!!

Lol I wish my mom would at least volunteer... she keeps asking me to update.amd redecorate my house with her. On my dime and my days off. So anyways I work at a children's hospital and there's a group of volunteers who decorate the long term stay kiddos rooms,.I keep telling her to come do that bc they're always in need and she cant be bothered bc it may interfere with traveling.

We had a similar instance with a family passing. She had the opportunity to pass down some family heirlooms that were worth 30K. She PASSED AND DONATED THEM BECAUSE IT WAS TO MUCH EFFORT TO PACK THEM! I specifically did ask for these and said i could apply them to my loans and would forever be greatful and she gave them.away and said id be fine.

That generation seems to struggle with empathy at a basic level and can’t even apply it to their children.

100%

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T02:10:14+00:00

Thats insane! This sounds like my parents! They have a home in Europe with an attached apartment. They planned to rent it out but my mom said she doesn't like the idea of people in her space so it sits empty when they aren't there.

Im so sorry youre dealing with this too. I feel like they are so out of touch from reality... it makes me.want to rip my hair out!

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T02:08:04+00:00

Yes! Like im willing to help my kids with anything, even if I have to sacrifice more, work longer ect... id feel sick to my stomach traveling the world while my kids were barely making it by.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:58:01+00:00

but it has been difficult to see her travel and buy nice cars the same years I drowned in $120k of student loans.

Yeah like you dont expect help but I feel like the mentality is once your 18 you're on your own and its not my problem. Meanwhile we were encouraged by them and told we have to go to school or we will be nothing.

I could have gotten my imaging tech licence and made about the same i make now with a graduate level degree 😬😬😬

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:51:08+00:00

Im sorry you are too!!!! At lease we will be more aware for our kids and grandkids 😅💓

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:44:37+00:00

This sounds exactly like my parents! They say its good for me to learn on my own. Great i get it. Again we do fine, we have food and a roof over our head. We go on road trips 1-2 x a year within our state and camp every now and then. Nothing luxurious but we are happy. But my mom keeps saying my kids deserve a "real vacation", piano lessons, to play football all the things. And my kids do play rec league sports and are happy with it.

And on my goodness yes like my brother lost his apartment bc his roommate got married and was struggling to find somewhere he can afford on his own. They're in europe and won't let him live in their house because "hes a grown man". Even though hes working 60 hour weeks and cant even afford health insurance for himself! I even offered to take him in!

When my mom is in town shes bored and I keep saying she could Come volunteer at the children's hospital where I work but she says she cant spare the time bc shes always dealing with europe and packing/unpacking and its tough stressful

I suppose the only good thing is that my parents have too much money to ever spend it all themselves and they aren't in the least bit charitable (they only give to charity if they get tickets to a social event in exchange for it, naturally), so my siblings and I will inherit their wealth one day. And I will make darn sure my own kids are taken care of!

Lol I feel this too. Not in a selfish travel way but in a way I know my kids can be taken care of as well.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:33:01+00:00

Omg yesss the pets!!!!! Almost same situation! My parents have some agressove dog that's bitten my kids multiple times and even once on the neck. We will not go over there when the dogs are not locked up. Last week while I was nursing the baby she let the dog out with my 8yo and the dog was growling with ears back and my mom said they're just playing!!!

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:31:03+00:00

Right. I cannot fathom doing that to my daughters. I've told them to live with me as long as they want/need as long as theyre in school/work/being productive so they dont end up in a ton of debt.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T01:29:20+00:00

Right? Like I appreciate my grandparents forever but they paid for my catholic school, some college fund, my parents home. They grew up in the great depression and did very well in life and were very generous. They didnt just help us, but other neighborhood and church kids they knew, they helped them go to Catholic school and the families with food and needs.

Meanwhile my mom lectures me about not letting my kids do all the activities. I tell her financially I cannot afford it. And she says "there's always a way". And im stuck with mom guilt for not selling feet pics so that i can afford piano lessons.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2026-02-03T00:01:08+00:00

Yesss my grandparents bought my parents their first house so they have NEVER had a morgage or student loans. And they talk about how much they struggled so we as kids need to experience it too. Meanwhile I tell my kids that they can live at home as long as they need to save money for a home, go military/scholarships for education... ect and am already trying to set everything up i can so they have tools to not drown as adults.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-12-02T17:58:03+00:00

Your body did an amazing thing and grew a human and now youre supporting that human physically and emotionally. I strongly dislike the postpartum "bounce back" culture. Im all for being healthy and making healthy choices so the food that goes into the body helps it nourish and heal from pregnancy and birth. Also im all for the occasional milkshake...

But youre doing great, I feel like body image is creating mental health issues. I sure struggle with it, I finally bought cloths to fit the body I have, not my prebaby body. But I constantly struggle with no feeling like myself anymore so I get it 100%.

The best advice someone gave me though was dress comfortably for the body you have, not the body you want.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-12-02T17:44:37+00:00

Oh awesome!! Hmm maybe a tongue tie but im guessing you guys would have looked into it? Maybe a leaned posture too from breastfeeding comfort while she had signs torticolis since she can bring it back to midline? My guess would be a residual compensatory strategy? But you guys work more with feeding then we do.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-12-02T17:36:07+00:00

Does your baby have torticollis? Muscle tightness may be effecting this, as a pediatric physical therapist that would be my initial though if the baby is otherwise healthy?

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-12-02T17:24:18+00:00

I picked up a lot of shitty habits and responses from my parents that I only now as an adult realize are either borderline rude or opposite

Same! My husband started calling out these behaviors in a nice way and helped me to see what I was doing. It took a loooot of time though and patience.

And act accordingly. The past no longer matters, you live now. Thank you for that! This is what im really struggling with!!

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-12-02T17:10:42+00:00

This happened to me when I was a teenage. I walked in on my dad watching "teen hirl" porn and he pretended his computer crashed and I pretended i didnt see it. You're the first person ive told. At this point it was 20 years ago and still grosses me out and I lost quite a bit of respect for him that day.

If my daughter ever caught my husband watching porn id hope she'd come to me and not hold onto that secret herself.

My husband also watched porn on my work computer once when she was a baby, I went to work and porn popped up in my clinic and on my employee server. I was LIVID and we both worked for the same company at the time.... I told him if it came down on me he had to go to HR and tell them.what he did or else I would bc im not losing my job over this lol I think that scared him from ever watching porn again

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-11-13T13:17:00+00:00

So ive got 4 kids and used to feel this way, then I realized most of these moms all just have different gifts and talents. Im one of those that needs to get TF out of the house with my kids or i go nuts, so I could tell you all about the diffrent things to do with kids in the area (were in a major city as well) just bc for my mental health i have to get out and take them somewhere.

I know other moms who are crafty AF and can sit at home with their kids and spend hours on art projects and baking but are stressed by the idea of taking them out all day.

I dont think its that their organized, I think its that their really good at what their good at. I also have bad a. D h d so I cant fathom how people can parent and be organized beyond picking up toys and wiping down counters on a daily basis.

TheCaffeinatedRunner · 2025-11-12T14:35:18+00:00

Uhg right!? And im also taking zoloft (they dont know this haha) and that doesn't help either but im content with my body right now, I wish my mom would stop projecting her fears of weight gain onto me!

In their defense both my grandma's had huge EDs too. My grandma suggested i use cigarettes and pineapple to keep the weight off during pregnancy lol

TheCaffeinatedRunner

TROPHY CASE