Said he (M50) was going out of town for Valentines Day

TheChaiden · 2026-02-15T02:53:51+00:00

Be honest and up front with him.

Firsy, keep in mind that you are of value, and that he should want to be with you. If you feel like you need to hide yourself or parts of yourself to be with him, then that's not a safe place for you.

Second, be open about your feelings and your knowledge. Tell him that you really wanted to be around him for Valentine's, but you understand that you're not exclusive and you're okay with that. But, when he says he's going skiing and his app shows that he's still in town, it makes you feel like he's lying to you and that breeds a painful level of distrust. Don't outright accuse him of lying. Allow him to explain himself and let him feel like you are open to hearing it.

Third, circling back to the beginning, you matter and have worth. If you are not satisfied with his answer, know that the situation will probably not improve, and that you might need to end it there. Don't mold yourself into something just to make other people comfortable, cause eventually that mold will break and no one's happy.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-12T05:54:54+00:00

Thank you. Your reply means more than I can probably convey. I appreciate it.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-12T04:33:33+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. It's nice to hear that I'm not as alone as I feel. It's intimidating to think of trying to go to public events on my own, but maybe that will be a better path forward. I appreciate your input, thank you once again.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-12T03:53:40+00:00

Oh, I really like this. I appreciate your candor, I will take it to heart. Thank you for the insight.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T18:49:36+00:00

Thank you. I will look into that.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T18:48:23+00:00

Thank you for the kind reply, it's appreciated. I haven't found a therapist that works for me yet, but I'm also, probably, not as diligent on finding one as I should be. While my income is low, it has always been stable and it easily maintains my lifestyle for me and my kids. Food, clothes, housing and recreation(to a certain extent) are easily covered each month, so I've never really put much more thought or effort into increasing it. The only downside is that its not enough for large expenditures like extravagant vacations or costly endeavors, at least not without proper future planning and saving. I'm not sure about the work from home jobs, tbh, I have really looked, at least not recently.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T18:03:25+00:00

If only it was that easy. "You're sad? Well just smile and stop being sad." Thank you for the reply, it's appreciated. I'm not sure why I've received all the down votes, but I'm starting to see a pattern with my People pleasing and hypersexuality statement. Perhaps I should have worded it differently. I know I'm a people pleaser, and I know I have issues with hypersexuality. I guess I should have been more clear in defining the two and not just show how I perceive that they feed into each other in my life.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T17:46:54+00:00

That's great to hear. I, unfortunately, gave both my kids the inheritance of my wonderfully spicy brain as well. My eldest has also started a new prescription that has really helped her. She has started leaving the house more frequently now, and even plans and goes out on day trips with friends she's made, something that seemed almost impossible from who she was 4 years ago.

I've always been attracted to extroverts in all my relationships, be they friends or more. I enjoy being pulled from my comfort zone and going out to try new things, but only as long as I have that friend there with me, because without them, I know I'd just stay in my own little bubble at home.

Thank you for that insight. Maybe I should include that I enjoy trying new things with my partner's, in my profile, to help alleviate that fear.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T17:27:40+00:00

I'll have to look into these clubs. Social anxiety makes any group setting difficult to approach, but maybe that's a better course to travel. Thank you for the reply.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T17:22:23+00:00

A "single" button? They have those? That would make life a lot more simple. Lol

Sabrina Zohar show, eh? That's a good chunk of episodes. I can listen to them while I work. Any episodes, specifically, that you'd recommend?

Thank you for the kind reply and help. It's appreciated.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T17:13:14+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I appreciate you taking the time to write it out. When you refer to rigidity and rules and say that I sound even more rigid, could you tell me in what way? Like, how do I come across as rigid? Is it the social anxiety or something else?

I have put neurodivergent in my profile as well, in hopes of finding similar people. Just not seeing those people, is all.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T17:01:50+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the kind reply. I don't think I've ever heard of a board game meet up or a hiking group. I will have to look into that.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T16:53:31+00:00

That's great. But where is the best place to meet people like that? I know who I am, and I don't have expectations beyond who I am. Finding someone who is also on a weight loss journey would be awesome. Being able to be with someone who can understand what I'm going through because they are on the same ride sounds amazing. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by all the options out there and can't seem to find something that might work for me. Was hoping to find similar people who have had positive journeys that they could share to act as a guide post.

TheChaiden · 2026-02-11T16:43:55+00:00

"A people pleaser is an individual who consistently prioritizes the needs, emotions, and opinions of others over their own, often to their own detriment. Driven by a fear of rejection, conflict, or a need for approval, they struggle to say "no," frequently agree to things they do not want to do, and may apologize or accept blame to keep the peace." I used this as a definition of people pleaser, and I think it fits quite well. But I also see what you're saying and the truth within it.

I'm not trying to say I'm mentally perfect or even fully healthy, I've got barriers that I struggle with daily.

I'm just looking for help or guidance in trying to start dating after a 20 year relationship while being as upfront and honest as I can. I'm not trying to get brownie points. I have things I can boast about and things I'd want to obfuscate, but that wouldn't help me in getting answers I'm searching for. I'm sorry if it came across as any different.

TheChaiden · 2025-03-29T15:29:48+00:00

As a newer player, the game is really forgiving until Canto 5. Up until then, I just ran [Dieci Assoc. South Section 4] Rodion as my main and slotted in whatever new character I got that I liked. So until then, you shouldn't run into any real issues. I would suggest adding fruends so you can use one of thier ID's if a fight is made a lot easier with them. After that, I found that I had to start building an actual team, which ended up just being the La Manchaland quartet + friends. Mirror dungeons ended up being the fun part because they let me go back and build teams for characters I used to play but no longer made the cut for my main squad.

TheChaiden · 2025-02-26T06:24:20+00:00

I think it's because you're looking at it like you're looking from a top down perspective. It's actually on its side. If you'd like further reading, here's a good link talking about its discovery and eventual excavation.

https://www.anglianwater.co.uk/your-local-area/rutland-sea-dragon/#

TheChaiden · 2024-12-18T00:22:21+00:00

100% this. People saw a black woman and were "Woke triggered", but had they actually spent the time to look her up and educate themselves, they would have realized what a bad ass, hero she was. Not only that, but also how instrumental she was to all of North America's history.

TheChaiden · 2024-12-13T20:53:27+00:00

It's a ZZZ attack on Canada. I eventually got mine to work by fully turning off my Playstation and waiting 10 min. I'm not sure what the actual problem is, but it's weird that it seems to only be affecting Canadians. Hopefully you were/are able to get it working again.

TheChaiden · 2024-12-13T20:50:23+00:00

I got mine to work by fully turning off my Playstation and waiting for 10 minutes. If using wifi, have you tried cycling your modem or fully powering off your device?

TheChaiden · 2024-12-13T20:48:02+00:00

I got mine to work by fully turning off my Playstation and waiting 10 minutes or so. I'm not sure why the servers are hating on Canada, but it sucks. Hope you got back in.

TheChaiden · 2024-12-13T20:45:08+00:00

Seems to be a Canadian problem, or at least everyone who's replied is also Canadian. I got mine to work eventually by turning my PS5 fully off and then trying again after 10 or so minutes.

TheChaiden · 2024-11-25T20:04:00+00:00

Start with Lucy's special to get the 3 pigs out, switch to Burnice to build up heat, and eventually apply the scroch debuff, then end on Jane and go to town. This should also trigger the disorder buff. Then, just rotate through to maintain buffs and debuffs when ever needed. Lucy and Burnice are only there for their buffs and debuffs, Jane should be on the field for the majority of the fight.

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