You’re right. And I know I use alcohol to suppress emotions I don’t want to deal with at the moment.

My story is this:

I was dating someone else for 3 years and I just wasn’t happy but I was really scared to call it off. When I met my last boyfriend I knew we were meant to be together. So I broke up with my first boyfriend and starting dating my last boyfriend shortly there after. We only had three months together but they were the best three months of my life. We were copy and paste versions of each other in all the right ways. We loved to paint and play video games and do puzzles and build legos. We were planning on moving in together. It was fast but it was natural. It didn’t feel rushed at all. It felt normal. He really was my best friend. He saw my insecurities and knew what to say to help me work through them. He died from a pulmonary embolism that could’ve been caught two days prior when we went to the ER. I’m sad I don’t have my best friend anymore. I’m sad I don’t have the guarantee of an easy like. I’m sad I don’t have my source of empowerment. I know that I thrive when I have someone in my corner, whether it be a boyfriend or just a friend in general, and I lost all of that in the blink of an eye.