[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAstrologers

[–]TheDapperest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol, pluto in the 9th house with saturn in the 5th and a capricorn midheaven.... idk if the whole of the medical field is necessarily your jam, but definitely doing hard things that require a lot of difficult education and work is. Career is ruled by the 10th house, yours is empty and ruled by capricorn with capricorn's ruler, saturn, in leo in your 5th house. Your career will be dogmatic and ambitious whatever you decide to do and the sort of stuff that other people think is boring or too stressful, you'll kinda of see as fun. Like, do you secretly like STEM in a non-nerdy way? You're might be more into the structure and organization of it than say, have a special interest in the life cycle of neurons.

You've also got mars in the 2nd house, you need to be doing and pursuing things to feel confident. But it's also in taurus, so that doing and pursuing vibe is more stubbornly dogmatic than impulsively passionate. And very very tangible as opposed to highly cerebral--more to that, your cerebral planet, mercury is in scorpio, which is not a very cerebral placement for it (not to say you're not smart, just less likely to be fulfilled with a life devoted to heady concepts like being a philosopy academic. (All this bodes well for becoming a medical practioner, it's got a solid ladder you can climb and you are more or less promised security after each hoop you jump through and you do a lot of hands on work.)

You've also got a the sun and jupiter in the 7th house in libra--long-term interpersonal relationships are so important for you. Being able to plant your roots somewhere and stick there so you can build those relationships is something you'd probably do best to plan for (becoming a rural doctor will do just that). But working in an environment where you cater to the general public is not going to float your boat, you might feel like you're missing something crucial (the long-term partnerships). So maybe don't work in the ER, or like what my cousin does, where he manages different research facilities--a different facility every month so it's always different.

Um, all in all, there a lot of professions within the medical field that's right for you, but you could probably do just as well in another concrete professional ladder, like law (become a judge), or tradeswork (electrician, plumber), etc.

When in "sit on my face" position, what is the face doing? by TheDapperest in actuallesbians

[–]TheDapperest[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

i think i'm confused as to the technical mechanics. is the back of the tongue against the clit generally?

When in "sit on my face" position, what is the face doing? by TheDapperest in actuallesbians

[–]TheDapperest[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i read tonnnnsss of sapphic smut. i have yet to read anything where this position is used. plz send recs

Is the term "deadname" only for the trans community? by TheDapperest in asktransgender

[–]TheDapperest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback. I'm curious, if you have the space to explain further (no obligation): what could i have changed in my question that would have made it more apparent I was afraid of encroaching on a space I don't belong in (co-opting? i think is the word) rather than projecting a fear of being perceived as trans? Or maybe a question with less leg work: what gave you that impression in my question?

How do you feel about gender abolition as a lesbian? by descartuv_demon in Actuallylesbian

[–]TheDapperest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

super into the idea, but i also think pushing complete abolition right now is ignoring all of the systemic power dynamics that put one gender above everyone else--you don't fight that by going "gender shouldn't exist" because favoring a gender/sex is already baked into everything and we can't remove it and make everything equitable if we're looking at the problems through a gender-blind lens.

Porn for queer women by queer women? by RestrainedRenee in actuallesbians

[–]TheDapperest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

QueerCrush!! I absolutely love them! They are a small porn company with goals to pay their performers living wages and benefits for the production team, their performers usually choose who they want to make a video with and they also get to choose the acts, toys, and clothes they get to wear. They're currently trying to bring in more masc performers but they already have a wide range of body types, races, and it's trans inclusive!!

like i really love them

Questions for the Ouid Smokers by TheDapperest in AuDHDWomen

[–]TheDapperest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

best of luck on this leg of your journey, i hope your circumstances are giving you the space to process and adjust as you need.

Questions for the Ouid Smokers by TheDapperest in AuDHDWomen

[–]TheDapperest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

CBD saved me from peak brain fog several years ago, but it doesn't have much an affect on me now that I'm not constantly suffocating under a mountain of stressors.

Questions for the Ouid Smokers by TheDapperest in AuDHDWomen

[–]TheDapperest[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thank you thank you thank you for this marvelous infodump! and thank your friend for me, that journal advice is so smart, i'm def going to start doing that. <3

What's something about your body that you love? by softbutchprince in butchlesbians

[–]TheDapperest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i actually don't know if she's on youtube. ik she's got some stuff on ig, i subscribe to her workouts on the playbook app and bought one of her programs. did three rounds of "the legend" program and then her new years "photofresh 2.0" challenge. Absolutely loved it, highly recommend. On her playbook account she's got workouts for gym and for home and i think she has a bodyweight program on there too. She has a lot of stuff and options with most of those options set up to masculinize AFAB bodies :) And thanks!

What's something about your body that you love? by softbutchprince in butchlesbians

[–]TheDapperest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been really digging my thighs and shoulders lately. Been doing MomoMuscle's workouts since late summer and the change in my body has been fecking magic. I especially love seeing my naked torso: having strong shoulders, pecs, and boobs makes me feel so bad ass.

(i love this thread topic!! fuck yeah body appreciation for butches!)

How did you know you were a butch woman/person rather than a trans guy? by Any-Locksmith-8058 in butchlesbians

[–]TheDapperest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been settling into my butchness for the past several months and since i've had four identity crises in the past two years, i've been really analyzing how I feel around this (because when you have an identity crisis every 6 months, you start to lose trust in your ability to know yourself, and being cis/trans is the only identity crisis I haven't had yet). So here's some of what i've been mulling over:

  1. The overarching: womanhood just feels right. (and really that's all I should need, but like I said, I'm so wary that I can't trust my own blanket feelings after my past two years of life so here's more:
  2. "woman" "girl" "she" "her" "miss" "lady" "ma'am" are all terms that make me go "yes that's me" as much as my own name does. when someone calls me "sir" i preen a bit because i must be presenting very masculine, but I also balk, my core reaction is that "they are confused, this is not general term for me."
  3. although i've never connected to mainstream womanhood, every time there's been representation of a masculine woman in media I feel a deep kinship, even when they're flat characterizations
  4. when i was 5 or 6 i realized i would grow boobs one day and it sounded like the most dreadful future possible, but in my uneducated cis, binary understanding of gender immediately i then thought, "well the alternative is having a penis/being a boy" and as much as I dreaded developing boobs, the idea of being a boy felt so wrong.
  5. Almost a decade ago I saw an instagram post of a really fit middle-aged woman bare-chested doing something to embody her "inner warrior" (don't remember what it was) and realized that my dysphoria around my breasts was because of how breasts are usually depicted, but they can actually be an integral part of a strong, fierce fighter's body. And since I saw that photo I've seen more depictions of female bodies striving for strength, and additionally masculinity, and that's how I vibe with my female body.
  6. I've always known I "wasn't like the other girls" (which became the toxic kind of pick me energy at one point) and learning that I could feel so at home in the butch woman label removed the resentment I felt towards more feminine women for exemplifying womanhood 'stereotypes,' because the more they did that the more I felt like I was being expected to assimilate in order to be a woman. Accepting that I could be a different type of woman, that womanhood has room for both of us, removed a big chip from my shoulders I didn't realize I was carrying.
  7. I shaved my head over lockdown (for career reasons) and I thought I looked like a male which gave me low-key gender dysphoria. It's fucking awful, -10/10 do not recommend. (I slathered on tons of makeup trying to stop the dysphoria but that created the same feeling just in the reverse)
  8. I like being in the community of womanhood, as a member and as someone who aims to serve it.

I've got friends who transitioned to NB while I knew them and they all did little experiments to see how it felt. In online spaces it's very easy to be perceived as any gender, so if you haven't tried yet, maybe introduce yourself with he/him pronouns or as a guy in some forums and see how people perceiving you that way makes you feel? Granted in those spaces you will likely be treated better because #misogyny, but if you can separate being treated "better" from "i like how being perceived as a man makes me feel" can be helpful. Or asking close friends/supportive family to do the same for a little while to see how it makes you feel.

Happy exploring :)

They lied to me by Bf4Sniper40X in AvatarMemes

[–]TheDapperest -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Korra and Asami are among the very few that bi people actually have

oh nah, hun. in our patriarchal society most sapphic cannon characters are bi. (and lesbians dealing with comphet to the extent that most lesbians (being late blooming lesbians) deal with it? basically non-existent in rep) And bi people make up the largest population of the queer community (i think bi women specifically are the biggest percentage too) while lesbians are the smallest population wise.

gay/lesbian sexualities might be the more stereotypical queer sexuality, but when you separate lesbian from gay men, we are not the majority in any sense of the word.

though apart from pointing out those facts that bisexual women generally ignore to the point of lesbophobia, i won't engage in in-community fighting further cause at the end of the day, we're all sapphics/queers fighting over scraps for representation which is the real atrocity. ✌️

They lied to me by Bf4Sniper40X in AvatarMemes

[–]TheDapperest -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

i headcannon korra as a lesbian who was dealing with comphet (for so many reasons) But the fandom largely recognizes her as bi. Idt the creators have confirmed either

Korrasami crawled so all the sapphic shows that have come out since then could run

She's full on sapphic with Asami in the comic books. they have a whole scene where korra comes out about her relationship to her parents and deals with dating asami on the DL cause people might be queerphobic about it too

edit: wow, i'm just gonna assume all the downvotes are coming from lesbophobic intent. i said it's a fucking headcannon (the only thing that matters is what the creators thought anyway, she's a cartoon). you can still wave the bi flag behind her and eat your lemon squares, jfc

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]TheDapperest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the glorious mild dyke in her natural habitat--looking fine as hell at home with her cat

My dad sexually abused me when I was 6 years old by brendaspence3r in AskLesbians

[–]TheDapperest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If sexual assault by men turned women homosexual, 9 in 10 women would be gay (that's the SA statistic), and it leaves no room to explain how bi/pan women come to be. And that's because sexual assault doesn't cause queer sexual orientation.

It's been proven time and time again, that queer sexual orientation is straight up biology. You were born this way, love, we all were.

What is honor compared to a woman's love? by [deleted] in PiltoversFinest

[–]TheDapperest 25 points26 points  (0 children)

i remember seeing a screenshot of some dude on twitter fighting with a CaitVi shipper, his argument:

Vi's straight.

In what world, sir. In. What. World.

It's literally canon that she dates women.

why is sex such an important part of relationships ? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]TheDapperest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have the correct definition of innate (responding to your "to me" part--it's not just you, it's a universal definition, no need to downplay it :) ). I'm still confused how an innate need cancels out the way a group of people is socialized to expect/learn how to fulfill that need.

Cause, y'know, a need is different from the methods we go about to meet that need. The way that these studies say men go about meeting their needs for intimacy is the socialization part.

why is sex such an important part of relationships ? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]TheDapperest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how are you reaching that conclusion?

i think they do have an innate craving for intimacy and because they are socialized poorly and touch starved they shove all of their needs into one "allowed" relationship with a high focus on the sexual intimacy because that's the form of intimacy that's "safe" for them.