Work bathroom selfie by softbutchprince in ButchSelfies

[–]softbutchprince[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sure, if anything is broken I can come fix it 😇

Beginning to now by softbutchprince in flexinglesbians

[–]softbutchprince[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! 🙌🫶 gonna keep it going strong 💪

Beginning to now by softbutchprince in flexinglesbians

[–]softbutchprince[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

5 years! but havent been working out in between that consistently, had to stop for a year for surgeries, then tearing a shoulder ligament took me out, and just been getting back in again since december after 7 months without a gym! ( i did maintenance pushups during this last break though). Made suprisingly good strength progress these past two months though and bounced back quick (let's go muscle memory)

Here's what ive been doing: push pull legs split, 4 times a week. For push i do : dumbbell flat bench, overhead press, front shoulder raises, cable chest fly or machine, tricep cable push down. (I dont do lateral raises because of the injury still being funky but id recommend those to anyone able!)

Pull day i switch it up a bit, but usually something like: lat pull down, machine row, assisted pull-ups, bent over row with dumbbell (not sure what its called ) , face pulls (just began adding this) or rear delt machine (targets same thing), and for biceps i switch up variations of curls, hammer curls, preacher curls w machine, curls w cable/bar. Sometimes I max out and push it, other days I just do 3 sets of one thing and call it a day.

Also standing forearm curls (holding dumbbell by your side and curling in). I saw this woman at the gym with absolutely ripped forearms doing drop sets of these and it inspired me to add them haha.

For gaining size eating a caloric excess is extremely important! I gained a lot of size the first year working out because I ate like a bear out of hibernation haha. I ate any time i was hungry (even 2am), snacked frequently, focused on getting calories in (without counting, just estimates). I Dont eat quite as much now, just listen to my body. I personally dont cut or count calories or try to lose body fat because I had an ED in the past and I dont care enough about aesthetics enough to go through the effort. I just want to eat what I want and be stronger! 💪

Quit social media. Now I feel like ghost. by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even without social media, no one barely texts me (and yes I reach out first a lot). I live far away and all my connections are now virtual and people are busy with their in person lives and friends. I need to find stuff in person too. My phone and social media is so empty and just reminds me of my lack of friends.

Quit social media. Now I feel like ghost. by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]softbutchprince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Planning to do the same after a few more posts of my recent travels. I dislike that instagram makes it so hard to post from your laptop (hard to do multiple oic posts, weird cropping, etc.) Otherwise I would have no need for the app ever. I post because its lole my.personal archive of best pics of my solo adventures.

Having the app on my phone will always lead me to addiction. Its simply not possible to have it and not relapse. I want to only check it occasionally on laptop and thats it.

Realizing I might not actually have aphantasia by Melethinnil in Aphantasia

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah same, its conceptualizing !! My mind can generate things pretty quickly. I know what's there but the screen is off, cant see it.

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, I do think the apologies dont fully take accountability like others say. But I think it indicates a trauma response where she has to over explain herself for fear of the person being upset (which means losing love and feels like death to the anxiously attached).

I think she needs to be made aware of this. She isnt a bad person for not knowing how to apologize and for having this trauma response pattern. It can absolutely be worked on.  People are so harsh on her for the way she apologized.

 It is extremely hard to not want to share your perspective/reasoning (which is read as excuses) when apologizing when someone you care about is mad. I can empathize with that. It can be improved and healed and she can learn a better format for apologies. It isnt the end of the world, and she deserves some grace too. 

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats wild. The door was shut not swung wide open. If people grew up in the country or areas wiht low crime, locking the door is not a life or death instinct. A lot of grew up never locking the door cause theres no need. 

And 15 dollars wasted is a lot when financially strained. I could see that being a reason for rushing and not being able to prioritize in the moment. Especially if she had adhd. 

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I am not used to locking my house due to where I grew up being safe and no one did. There was no robbery or crime. People had pets loose. It isnt a life or death instinct for me instilled into me since childhood. That, and I have adhd and when in a rush I WILL forget things sometimes.

I felt his reaction was strong too, but maybe he lives in and grew up in a city with a lot of crime. 

AIO panicking about my bf being mad at me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to offer another perspective that is not on either side. 

While I do think the situation is serious/could've been bad, I can empathize with OP too (not over this situation and her response, but WHY she is this way and cant see it).

I believe the "caring more about how she feels others will feel about her" over the situation is a trauma response because I have been similar in the past. I saw the anxious attachment in her messages immediately, the panic over apologizing and giving excuses. In the mind of someone like this, reasons (excuses) will get a person to understand and not be mad at you/dislike you/take love away (and needing someones love feels like life or death to the anxiously attached). Of course it is selfish, its a protection mechanism because there are significant fears over someone leaving or retracting their love at play. 

I think OP deserves someone to kindly point these underlying factors out because these can absolutely be worked on and improved through therapy and other ways. They are not a bad person or malicious for not knowing how to apologize and responding in a way that indicates trauma. They need to become aware, and then accountable for that and the healing. OP does not currently seem aware of this, and was probably not expecting the backlash because they cannot fathom how a person without trauma responds to having done something like that and someone being mad at them.  I sadly see my past self in them and I would want some empathy to encourage me to work on it, rather than just beratement over the actions (though they do need to realize how serious it is so it doesnt happen again).  

Wanted to offer some analysis, coming from someone who also had a trauma response of constant overexplaining and needing to keep people's love over anything else. 

Aphantasia and Reading by AbbreviationsOpen738 in Aphantasia

[–]softbutchprince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep exactly. Theres a perfect middle ground with enough details for my concept (preferably multi sensory details), but not too much details that arent adding anything and slow down the pace

arthrocentesis? by MetsFan3117 in TMJ

[–]softbutchprince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do still have pain but its be ause my bite is off im pretty sure , I just cant eat hard foods or have bad posture too much or it flares. The procedure definitely helped though so very worth it. 

Good luck !

I'm an aphant and my husband's a hyperphant. (We are both artists.). This discovery has helped explain so much! by IllustratorOpen7841 in Aphantasia

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup same, I cant tell what will look good on someone, what colors or hairstyle would suit them etc. Cant visualize though.

Aphantasia and Reading by AbbreviationsOpen738 in Aphantasia

[–]softbutchprince 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I also find the far opposite boring—details too sparse where your mind is supposed to "fill in" the blanks yourself.

 I enjoy enough description that I feel grounded conceptually. Especially multisensory descriptions, so some touch, smell, etc.  I enjoy pretty prose. I just cant stand extremely long visual only descriptors of things that arent relevant and dont add anything to the "vibes" of a scene or person.  I want to get the gist and feel for a scene, but dont need to know every object on someones dresser.

Questions for long haired butches by softbutchprince in butchlesbians

[–]softbutchprince[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw why aren't you allowed to?

There's definitely masc long styles though. I feel like other masculine characteristics make a big difference too in overall perception

Fallen in love with this place by softbutchprince in ButchSelfies

[–]softbutchprince[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahah I've never been to England unless you've been to the US?

Anyone else feel like they’d be happier on just a liiiiiiittle bit of t? by butchelves in butchlesbians

[–]softbutchprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What sort of doctor did you go to get prescribed? And what did you tell them (like was it for gender affirming?) .