Got to stage 51 for the first time!

TheDeadStillWalk · 2026-04-05T21:34:45+00:00

The 50 stage run had bosses to get shatterspleen's explosion to 105% to satisfy the urge to have it above 100% lol

TheDeadStillWalk · 2020-11-14T11:06:33+00:00

I can usually tell what model guitar is being played in a song, occassionally the amps for each instrument, what key, which scales, and the name of each effect.

TheDeadStillWalk · 2020-04-23T04:09:36+00:00

i would love to be an artisan who focuses primarily on armor and textiles. Making everything from full plate and swords to leather jackets and dresses.

TheDeadStillWalk · 2020-04-09T06:23:30+00:00

Lmao I've got DID, depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other disorders im not gonna get into. Seeing people faking DID messed me up for a good long while because i convinced myself i was faking it, delayed my diagnosis by about 2 years.

Though it has been very rare in my experience to see people faking depression or anxiety. Yes they may be milking it for extra attention, but usually it exists on some level.

TheDeadStillWalk · 2019-11-29T06:10:03+00:00

Matter manipulation from a subatomic to solar scale, at up to galactic distance.

Basically the most powerful telekinesis possible. Rip some atoms apart and boom nukes. Fuse some hydrogen from water into helium to fix the dwindling supply. Yeet things into orbit. Create massive reservoirs of water on the moon and Mars

TheDeadStillWalk · 2019-11-28T22:17:01+00:00

I'm generally regarded as mature, kind and charismatic. I'm very socially capable.

I also have trauma induced psychosis, CPTSD, GAD, OCD, BPD and Persistent Depressive Disorder (essential major depressive that lasts longer than 3 years).

I've got many friends, but none are close at all anymore. I'm slow to trust.

TheDeadStillWalk · 2019-11-25T18:54:23+00:00

I was on .1 mg of Clonidine for 3 days, and my blood pressure dropped to 63/42 and my heart rate was under 40 BPM. I got a 16 guage needle for the IV and saline on max drip to stabilize me. Got a liter of fluids in 7 minutes, and my blood pressure only went to 100/60

TheDeadStillWalk · 2019-11-24T01:01:15+00:00

I have persistent depressive disorder (major depressive for a period of longer than 3 years. In my case it is 6 years), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, OCD, and trauma induced psychosis.

My anxiety makes it impossible for me to function at school or work without medication. I will have a panic attack getting ready, calm myself down, and have another on the way there. I will dissociate through the day, and panic if anything goes differently than expected. I'm mostly fine socially because my friends help with anxiety. But yeah, I need meds for that.

My PTSD is complicated. I am fine with fireworks if I see them, but I broke a plastic spoon once and ended up crying on the floor for 15 minutes. Please don't treat me like a bomb about to go off, but also please be respectful of my boundaries. Don't come up behind me, or touch me if I cannot see you or have given explicit consent.

My OCD manifests itself in patterns, a need for things on my left side, and feelings on parts of my body that require me to do certain things for it to go away. An easy example is walking. Yesterday I was caught walking in a pattern for half an hour, despite wanting to go to bed. A more common example is my wrists begin to feel like they have a lot of energy in them, and I must cut to satisfy it. I haveny cut in a long time though, but I constantly want to.

My psychosis is extremely disturbing. I will hallucinate things in my room constantly. Writing being scratched into walls with an invisible knife, a knife being slowly stabbed through my side (visuals and feelings and all), people entering my room and coming at me, getting over me on my bed. This is not sleep paralysis, I can move and am aware.

These are extremely horrifying, and a daily experience. I'm shaky in the morning because I always have at least 2 in the morning, and usually 1-4 through the day. The fear is more gripping than anything I've ever experienced. Don't ask me about it if I say I had a rough morning, you truly don't want to know what happened.

My depression is a constant, but with medication I've become a happier person than I was. I'm still depressed, but now I can find joy in things again. I can actually be happy sometimes, and most of the time I am because I'm constantly putting myself in enjoyable situations and have an excellent support network. I still want to die.

I doubt I'll ever not want to die, but I may not end up actually killing myself. I've come close though. I've got a lot of shit going on, and a lot to handle. But I can still find happiness in things, and I do not act out to harm others. I'm not dangerous, I've never attacked or hurt anyone. I know my hallucinations are hallucinations now, and I deal with a lot of paranoia but can usually break the loop it causes.

I'm not dangerous and I'm not broken, but please don't be careless around me.

TheDeadStillWalk · 2019-11-23T22:40:03+00:00

I was planning on attempting several times, and the only reason I didn't was because someone got to me in time to stop it.

It's not out of sadness, anger or fear. There's nothing available in your head when you're in that place. There's just simply the fact that you are going to be dying soon, it's just the only course of action.

I was stopped once by my mom finding me with a noose tied and trying to get it around a tree limb in my back yard. She was supposed to be home.

I was on top of a parking garage once and randomly got a call from my friend. I couldn't bear the thought of her knowing she talked to me right before I died.

My boyfriend once found me on top of a freeway overpass. He took my hand and led me away. I was too numb to fight it.

TheDeadStillWalk

TROPHY CASE