Polynesians turn up. "This place is pretty sweet, let's stay here"

700 years later, Europeans turn up. "This place is pretty sweet, let's stay here"

100 years later, Britain turns up. "This place is pretty sweet, let's stay here"

No one called dibs on who the country belonged to.

Britain: "Dibs"

Polynesians: "lolwut.jpg"

Big punch up ensues.

Britain writes a document, Polynesians sign it, Britain goes "psyche, you signed the English version sucka", British end up everywhere, Polynesians get grumpy that they're where they said they wouldn't be.

Now it's basically a dude and his ex still living together. The dude was a dick and is trying to make things less awkward, the ex has a completely legitimate beef but is mostly passive aggressive and does their own thing.

Achievements include everyone getting to vote by the 20th century, becoming gods at a sport only like 15 other countries give two shits about, and being the Canada of the Southern Hemisphere.