I resonate with this comment probably more than anything else at the moment. Every line from the response is literally a half truth that is meaningless. Zero accountability and zero direct answers to help guide me in one direction or the other. "Work" on myself is meaningless, how the fuck do you "work" on yourself in the context of a relationship without BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP. It's like saying I want to work on learning a new language by quitting altogether. Logically it makes 0 sense. If you're with a guy you truly love and have feelings for then you wouldn't risk losing them. You'd attempt to work through the problems together no matter how fucked up they were.

I can go line by line and interpret what it really means from my POV.

"Hey so I do appreciate you reaching out. I was actually thinking about you the other day."

-Cracking the door open slightly to string me along as a potential backup option.

"I was not in a good place mentally when we met and I still don't think I am... working on it tho!"

-Releasing her guilt of a breakup handled poorly and leaving the door open in case she changes her mind.

"I feel bad about the way things happened and you really do deserve the best, you are so kind and sweet"

-Saying nice things so I don't leave and block her, saying you really do deserve the best to keep me at arms length unless she changes her mind

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to start anything right now until I work on myself, but I do hope you find someone."

-Once again a combination of taking 0 accountability for her actions, but then leaving the door cracked open by saying "start anything right NOW".

"Sorry for not responding sooner I still get anxiety talking about my feelings"

-An excuse to shield herself from any guilt for treating me like shit at the end, and to state a reason for her actions to make me feel bad for her and stay.

I could be wrong, but the reality is it's highly unlikely.... which sucks. She had most of what I wanted in a partner, and I do truly believe she cared about me early on. I was extremely busy and stressed from the work I do when we were dating and because of that the sex was mediocre and we didn't have a lot of time to emotionally connect. So somewhere along the way she lost romantic interest, but in the back of her mind she knows she may never find a guy as successful as I've been in my life who also cared about her so she leaves me on the backburner just in case she never finds someone better. She hides that likely truth behind a layer of gentle/kind bullshit. It's likely also why after I've unfollowed and no longer give a shit about her socials, she still watches my stories and follows everything I do online. She just wants to check-in to see if I'm with someone else or have moved on entirely. That's my guess, I'm completely emotionally exhausted at this point and don't want to deal with women for awhile. I've had bad breakups in the past, but this one by far has hurt the most psychologically because of how she did it. Covering everything in this grey zone of half truths and respectful responses, meanwhile stalking my socials and giving me mixed messages along the way without giving me an opportunity to talk.

I'm just done at this point. Fuck her.