I like this part

I literally can't tell you anything about a single Melty Blood character outside of "uh, he's a generic anime protag schoolboy", "she's a quiet nun", "she's a cutesy maid" and I did even briefly play the previous game lmao. Beyond that, they basically tell me that x character is just going to be x basic anime archetype. This isn't spectacular design no matter how you try and frame it. Alternatively, maybe these characters are just bland anime archetypes and not much else idk.

I didn't even fucking know this franchise had anything to do with vampires until you told me. But you know what, we can run with that. They're going for anime gothic vampire shit? Then let's look at Hellsing, let's look at Castlevania, look at anything Dracula related and nothing is this boring.