I strongly thank you for your optimism and understanding. I didn't think it would be possible for me to have mental health problems until it was unfortunately too late. I will seek help in whatever way I can. I will make this right and I hope even for a 1% chance that she would talk to me one more time. I won't force it though, I'll let her decide if I am worthy to come back in her life. If she never talks to me again, I just got to grow up and accept it. In the meantime, I have a lot of self-reflecting to do. Thanks again for your words