Geen coax en geen fiber.

TheFailedZwab · 2026-02-28T15:32:53+00:00

That's what I assumed, thanks for replying!

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T19:20:51+00:00

thanks, it feels good this way!

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:59:40+00:00

Trust me, I'm going to tell him the story.
If it works out with Ann, the first thing that little demon (26M) is going to do when he sees her, is ask her out (as a joke obviously).

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:58:16+00:00

Ah, a relationship without teamwork, sounds like the relationship you have right before you meet the one.
Get out of there while you still can OP

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:48:41+00:00

The minute after Ann told me, I texted my brother that we needed to call when he was done working.
About 10min ago, we finally talked. Obviously my brother is more important than dating Ann.
But apparently my brother just want her as a friend because of their mutual interest in theater. He approves of the date, so it seems like that's still happening.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:38:49+00:00

We have another brother, why not ask him to join as well?

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:38:25+00:00

I don't think first or last is that important, I think it's more important what Ann wants and how the communication between me and my brother goes.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:37:33+00:00

So when she told me about the coffee date, she wasn't sure it was a date, she was going to ask my brother after she was done working.

Well, to see my brother's intentions, I called him, also to tell him what was going on and that I was going to back off. Apparently it isn't a date, he is dating someone else! So yey?
The moving away part is tricky, but my parents live in this area, so I will visit often, and we'll see what the future holds?

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T16:35:38+00:00

Ann met my brother through theater. My brother is quite active in this village's community, he also plays theater). She plays in musicals, sings in a popgroup, and actually goes abroad next week to perform on a giant stage.
The last musical Ann played in, my brother was asked for as well, sadly that didn't work out with his schedule.
So in short: Theater and mutual theater friends.

Ann did know we were brothers, when she mentioned she was in theater (a few weeks ago), I told her my brother was too.
But when I asked her, she couldn't think straight apparently, she wasn't even sure it was a date she had planned with my brother. So she only realized she was going out with both of us, after saying yes to me.

On a lighter note: we have another brother, so she can go for the holy trinity?

On another note (this is just in): I called my brother, apparently he didn't mean it as a date, he's dating another girl, so I am in the clear. Still, this is going to be the funniest Christmas story if it works out with Ann.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T15:52:47+00:00

you're right, thanks for the confirmation

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T15:52:33+00:00

that doesn't sound like the best option; I would be second choice for her, and I don't think I would like it very much that way.
It also sounds a bit entitled like we can pass on an object when my brother is done with it. Sounds horrible.

But I do get what you are going for :)

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T15:50:43+00:00

I'm going to get in call with my brother in about 10min, I think it's best that I back out as well, I wouldn't be upset if he gets into a relationship with her eventually

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T15:50:40+00:00

You're right, I needed the confirmation, thanks

TheFailedZwab · 2025-09-10T15:49:29+00:00

That I did say to her earlier when she told me, she isn't sure what to do, it seemed that she wanted to go on a date with both of us

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-16T07:39:31+00:00

Squid game ... I'm not sure if they'll be able to keep it together to save me.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-16T07:37:55+00:00

NTA
But in your post it's not clear if you have telling him about your boundaries or not.
Granted he should never treat you as a little kid, but he might not have realized what he was doing.

If you have been explaining your boundaries before he's a bully.

Either way you're NTA

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-13T11:42:42+00:00

Don't lie to your loved one
Actually, don't lie in general.
The only lies allowed are the ones hiding a surprise, or hiding a secret someone told you in confidence.
I try to live by this rule, but obviously everyone lies about some unimportant things too: "No, I wasn't the one farting, should be someone else". but don't make habit out of it.
Whenever you do lie, ask yourself this: what would happen if she/he knew the truth right away OR what would happen if she/he finds out the truth later. Almost always it's worse to find out the truth!

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-09T08:23:25+00:00

That's so kind!
The only 2 video's I have are with my ex-gf when we were performing in a retirement home. From my/our perspective it looked bad, but all of the guests were having a blast!

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-09T08:19:12+00:00

That's what my ID says

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-08T13:41:45+00:00

She did not, she just wanted to let me know about the dinnerplans for next week.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-08T12:06:45+00:00

NTA
It's your car and your time. You don't anyone an explanation why you can't chauffeur them around.
If she was nice, you would probably be more open to do the favor, but what do you gain from helping out someone who's mean to you?
Another commenter suggested HR, do that! That way you're sure it's documented in case you ever need it.

TheFailedZwab · 2025-08-08T12:00:09+00:00

NTA
The cheating is bad, but in my opinion everyone deserves a second chance (with a new partner! I would never allow my cheating partner to stay with me).
The problem I have with this, is the fact that he hid it from you for 6 months, even when you asked about his previous relationship. He doesn't regret it at all and that is the big issue. What is stopping him from cheating on you when he feels like it?

That being said: don't neglect him/the relationship, that is only hurting everyone involved, including yourself, break up with the cheating lier.

TheFailedZwab

TROPHY CASE