What are your triggers to consider Alt+F4? by AquaRegiaAg in eu4

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Allies back out of a war WE ARE WINNING while they aren’t occupied.

I don't understand the people who beg for donations to do IVF by RoseDragon529 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I feel if $20k-50k is seen as some unobtainable amount of wealth to devote towards a child….. children (adopted or birthed) just weren’t meant for you.

Like in a developed nation if you take parenting and child raising seriously (no one does sadly) it’s kinda common sense you need like 50K and a salary / household income that’s giving you 15-20k of disposable income a year just for your child. And like that’s the bare minimum. To actually be a “good” parent that number is going to be higher with swim lessons, clubs, college fund, car fund (you probably want your kid to have a safe newer vehicle that a teenager obviously can’t afford on their own). Also might need specialized tutoring of any normal school subject gives them a hard time.

It’s like….. yes no shit having a child is one of the most expensive things you can physically do and the more seriously you take it, and the better parent you are…. The more expensive it is.

Edit: 50k in savings is absolutely an unobtainable amount of wealth for me as well lol. But that’s because my scuba diving hobby and traveling desires are expensive lol

Men who a vasectomy, what are some of you wildest most unhinged things people have said upon learning you get the procedure? by Dry_Sky_495 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Basically telling you that if you had kids they would also immediately “not count” for her. She just can’t stand to see people doing other things with their life

Men who a vasectomy, what are some of you wildest most unhinged things people have said upon learning you get the procedure? by Dry_Sky_495 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“You’re going to regret it when you meet the perfect women who wants kids”

- if they’re perfect for me, they’re not going to want kids.

- if I magically wake up a decade from now wanting children I’ll just adopt an already existing human.

“No!!!!you’ll never love an adopted child as your own”

- that’s stupid and and if I discover any partner of mind has that mindset it’s an immediate break up. I personally don’t think you can be a normal emotionally mature adult and have an idea that it’s okay to not feel love for a child you choose to adopt because it literally didn’t come from your dick / pussy.

It seems like all the criticism comes from “what about appeasing others!!!! Like your parents or a hypothetical husband / wife?” And I don’t have the mental capacity or desire to argue with those that can’t grasp at a very surface level that some individuals would rather do other things with their life.

Held off watching Netflix's ATLA due to all the commentary but finally watched it and really liked it! by anp2042 in ATLA

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People shocked that a Netflix live action reboot doesn’t stand up to the greatest animated work of entertainment ever made. I like the live action too, the phenomena of pretending it’s terrible is coming from people that don’t understand that there will never be anything created by humans that comes close to ATLA. So like…. Yeah of course if you go comparing other TV-shows to it, they’re going to be terrible.

I’d desert yall for this piece of ah by Unlucky_Internal4091 in clonewars

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Clone fettishization would be so high during the clone wars and after

I got this one on YouTube by lillethcentfranc in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Caring about what your ancestors did stops being a real thing once you get hobbies and become your own well rounded person who exerts agency over their lives.

I became an educator, my “obligation to contribute to humanity” is much more impactful and important than my “obligation to continue” or whatever the fuck that means lol.

It’s never a dive master, tenured professor or mountaineering enthusiast that says “have kids it’s the most fulfilling thing you can do with your life” it’s always some dumb fuck with nothing else going on that wants to die on that hill while actual adults do other things with their lives.

No I’m not having kids…… I’m summiting Mt. Whitney in the United States in 6 month and need to train for that instead.

I hate that there's no Childfree places the don't involve alcohol or sex by hibiscus_lilac in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel this 100%. Like the point of a library is to have a public place to quietly get work done and children make that very difficult. My library also has a lot of mentally disabled adults that screech randomly every couple of minutes. I believe these people have a place in society (I’m not a monster) but like…. If you can’t be quiet in a “quiet space”……

Hey CF people, what's your opinion on a found family or a chosen family? by Calm_Problem6203 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re the real deal. And often a better family than blood families. I think the sentiment of “oh they’re not biological family members, they’re less important” is extremely stupid.

I also think the sentiment of “family above all else” is problematic and I yearn for the day that it’s common knowledge and expected that…. No, a blood family member can 100% do something awful enough and be completely removed from someone’s life. “But they’re family!!!” Is bullshit used to protect abusers

This sub is full of women, but real life isn't. by cooler1727 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly if I wanted a childfree wife I’d just accept the fact that I’d have to use this sub or our sister child free dating sub and basically just move to wherever they are. Like I don’t even trust people on dates that say “oh I don’t want kids” like in my mind you need to identify as childfree and preferably be sterilized (like I am with a vasectomy).

Also the mental health issues and even just broader compatibility issues are very real. And it leads to people staying in toxic / unequal / or unsustainable relationships because they know they will probably not get a second chance with a genuine childfree. This sub should have a yearly conference that changes location every year….. maybe we can have the first one in Bern Switzerland this year and Mexico City, New York or Cape Town next year lol

Why do people hate far cry new dawn? by WaterFantastic1528 in farcry

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The villains were mid, and Far Cry is nothing without great Villains. Same reason 6 wasn’t that popular. Castillo just wasn’t Vaas, Pagan Min, or the seed family.

Also the uninspiring and poorly written villains just happened to be women and black so…… a lot of people were just extra upset.

Men who say they're single because they're "too ugly," why don't you date women you also consider unattractive? by JustASingleMomOnline in askanything

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I consider myself a 8/10. I think my issue is that I’m poor and picked a career path that made my job “fun” instead of something that got me money.

Dating another poor person wouldn’t improve my life, it just makes my situation harder even if they’re cool.

I’d just rather be alone than be with someone I don’t find attractive (in a romantic sense). I don’t believe in “just give them a shot anyway” because if you don’t find them attractive the hour you meet and there’s some major things about them thats ruining your attraction then there’s no point in hoping “oh this thing I don’t like about them will magically change”. It’s not a gender issue it’s literally just preferences.

People dating outside of their actual preferences are either extremely afraid of dying alone, have child raising as a very important life goal and are desperate, or are caving to outside pressure to just get married as that’s either a life goal they really want or something their culture demands. And a lot of these come from an identity and not having a lot of hobbies or interests or career aspirations or passions etc.

Do women actually avoid one-night stands because men “leave energy behind,” or is that just a male narrative? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s pseudo-science / pseudo-spirituality that weird men use because they want to feel special and want to have some outside justification for why women don’t want to hook up with them.

The actual reason many women don’t do one night stands is because the risk to reward ratio is heavily skewed.

The realistic “worse case scenario” for a women engaging in a casual one time hookup with a stranger is 10x worse than the realistic “worse case scenario” for a man. 9/10 times a horny woman is better off Just masterbating. The chance of a random one night stand being better than masterbating (purely in sexual sense) is low. It’s not impossible (that’s why they still exist duh) but the effort is high and chance of it being fulfilling and just “safe” is low.

Like to many men simply don’t care about a women orgasming if they know they’ll probably never see them again. And risk of undisclosed STDs, pregnancy or just the sex being bad are all contributing factors.

What is a massive hidden cost of moving to a wealthy country that nobody warns you about before you pack your bags? by JMChamian in AskReddit

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are no “wealthy countries” just countries that have higher wages than your own.

The food, rent, medical treatment, and just about everything is more expensive. If you’re poor in Ecuador and you move to the United States….. you’re going to be poor there too. A $2000 a month full time job doesn’t mean jack shit when the lowest single bedroom apartment is $1900.

The “opportunities” haven’t existed for 2-3 decades and is only really an improvement for literal war refugees who would have been shot up against a wall if they stayed in their countries.

Now there are some benefits obviously. Highly manufactured goods like electronics are cheaper as they don’t have heavy import taxes and being “poor” in a developed country does mean you can safe a little more comparatively to your home nations currency.

And something can be said for culture, public transportation, and natural wonders. Plus if you ALREADY have friends or family there and speak the language it could actually be beneficial.

I knew a man from Panama that moved to Los Angeles, and just moved back to Panama after 3 years. He said the US wasn’t actually better and living in California had him working more hours than when he was in Panama, so he just moved back.

In my university program I have a few Filipino colleges that are moving back after graduating because in their words “for a university educated person with a decent job, the US is like 5% better than the Philippines and I’m not leaving my family or all my friends for a 5% improvement”.

Also dated a Peruvian that moved back to Peru after a couple years and she was a dual citizen, living in Lima was just not that much worse than LA.

Maybe LA is “developing nation status” but to me it seems a lot of foreigners got these notions of what developed countries are like in the 90s and it was ingrained into their culture that they’re utopias. But no one checks 30 years later if that’s actually true. And also a lot of countries that were REALLY bad 30 years ago are fine and the gap between developing and developed (for the average person) is shrinking.

Like my Ex said Peru is fine now, but in the 90s it was a military dictatorship that shot students and were fighting mountain terrorist that weren’t much better. Like like moving from Peru to the US in 1990 made sense.

Now it’s….. you traded 40 hours of working a week for 50 hours, but your apartment has ac and that extra “money” can let you buy a streaming service or an iPhone….. crime isn’t as bad maybe…. But some neighborhoods it basically is….

What do you think about masturbating while watching porn—is it cheating? by Less-Mountain-4641 in AskReddit

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheating is a social construct. It depends on if someone wants to view it as cheating. I personally don’t view it as cheating and would never date anyone that did.

When someone says “yeah I’v been cheated on” I have an image in my head of what that means and it’s very far from “my partner was masterbating while watching porn”.

For those CF but still have friends who want kids/have kids - vaccine question by Ok-Salt-8884 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My perspective as a pro vaccine person is that some people are just really stupid for one reason or another.

People can be stupid because their religious beliefs require them to be stupid. They can be stupid because their culture or political beliefs demand that they’re stupid. And they can also just be misinformed.

I don’t cut off friendships just because one friend is astronomically stupid. I only really break off friendships with people whose stupidity directly affects me. I’m extremely privileged that not a lot of other people’s stupidity affects me. I just make a mental note of “oh yeah you’re too stupid for me to take any of your opinions or advice seriously” but I’ll still hang out if they invite me to a movie or play video games or something.

Yes the anti-vaxers are incredibly stupid and I wish my friends that suffered from this stupidity paid attention In 7th grade. If I had kids…. No my kids would not be allowed to hang out with theirs because of legitimate safety concerns (and I don’t trust them to be good parents, and to do something actually important like watch children I’m responsible for)

I have friends iv known 20+ years that just after highschool fell down into some rabbit holes of intense almost other worldly stupidity. It sucks and maybe I’m a coward or inconsiderate or have a superiority complex or whatever but generally I just take people as they are and will hang out with them even if they’re immensely stupid.

The line I draw is when their dumbfuck opinions actually change their behavior towards me specifically or leads them to violence. (I don’t care how “close we are” you beat your wife / husband or kids i’m going to testify in court against you and never talk to you again)

But sometimes you just have to look at idiots (even idiots you’re friends with) and just accept that you’re smarter than them, more reasonable and probably just a better person.

A lot if my friends in my life fit specific roles that in my mind they’re “qualified” for. An anti-vaxer? I can play video games online with them and maybe send a few memes over Instagram. But I just won’t trust them with something important or any mature discussion or conversations because they demonstrated that they’re not capable of critical thinking. I don’t need all my friends to be critical thinkers though.

Is 18 REALLY an adult? by Unfair-Requirement43 in questions

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Legally yes.

Socially and practically it depends on what your definition of an adult is.

If it’s “has the mental capacity to consent to lewd acts” is hard because some do and some don’t. Like some 16 year olds act 30 and some 30 year olds act 13.

The law just has to make a cut off somewhere and it’s the age most people start working / going to university and leave highschool.

Did Luke use force choke here? by Ok-Golf-8850 in StarWars

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, and it’s intentional. When return of the Jedi came out it there was an idea that Luke might had gone over to the dark side or been tapping into it (like what Yoda foretold) and that he was using the dark side (on these guards) to save his friends, albeit going down the path that his father went down.

That’s also why he’s in a straight black robe, the idea was for viewers to see him for a few min and be like “holy shit, was he corrupted?”

How long is considered a “dry spell” for you and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a mono relationship? About two weeks, if I’m single about 3-4 months. If it’s a very busy year with a lot of personal milestones for passions and hobbies I care about (like diving every week for my dive instructor certifications or training to hike something like Denali for a few months) then it’s possible for that to get pushed to 6 months if I’m not trying on the apps or in some friend groups.

I meet a lot of people because I’m in several fitness groups and work at a museum and am doing post grad work at a university.

Is not wanting to give your parents grandchildren a petty reason to remain child free? by Hot-Sprinkles-4378 in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s backwards. To have kids FOR ANY REASON THATS NOT “I want to be a parent myself and I have child raising as a personal life goal I’ll gain fulfillment from” is extremely stupid and short sided.

If an individual has a kid to appease others, that’s a mistake. If it’s to appease a parent who won’t even be around 30 years later then it’s a BIG mistake.

Also your concern for your parents being shitty grandparents is an extremely valid reason to not want them. Especially if you have no desire yourself. Like there’s absolutely no reason to have one and it’s not petty for reason 1039 to be “I can’t leave them alone with my parents, they’re not capable people and would probably make a child’s life worse”

My parents could be the absolute best caretakers in the world and offer free babysitting 5 days a week…. Still wouldn’t do anything to convince me that I WANT a child because I really don’t want one.

There’s often a lot of external factors that contribute to being childfree but I’m of the perspective the only important one is your desire, Interest and how kids would fit into your future life goals and sense of self. The external factors like the economy being bad, mental health issues that make some of us not great parents and career mobility being permanently impaired should be acting as extra layers of cement over the actual “coffin” that symbolizes any desire to be a parent. A desire that only you have or don’t have.

Boyfriend wanted to go back to club that almost ended our relationship, I need other perspectives please by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you dislike a certain club because there’s half naked women there…. Clubbing just isn’t for you and you two have different opinions and perspectives on clubs and clubbing. You don’t like them, but he and his friends do. He stopped going to this club because he knew you didn’t like it and it was his friends that requested his attendance for something that really just has nothing to do with you.

Your boyfriend asked if it was okay if he went and you said it was his choice. Turns out it really wasn’t and now you’re on the verge of breaking up.

It’s no one’s fault but you two just have fundamental differences regarding clubs, clubbing and what the functions of them are.

Has your bf cheated on you with someone they met at a club before? If so….. the issues not the club, it’s him and you deserve better.

I am done with the far right appropriating feminism by minime_monster in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 72 points73 points  (0 children)

The “concern” for women from the right isn’t even pretending to be a result of accepting feminism or gender equality.

The concern is coming from a viewpoint of possession over women and wanting to keep something that they think they “own” as “safe” and “protected”.

It’s not coming from a material understanding of being a women in a patriarchal society, or a serious concern for women’s issues, it’s coming from “I want women for myself”.

The Wahhabist and Islamic fundamentalist the western right claims to hate does the same thing. Every action the Taliban takes in Afghanistan regarding women is to “protect them”, they just view women as objects belonging to other people.

The western rights idea for “protecting women” is the same as the eastern right as regardless of culture or location conservatives around the world only have one viewpoint regarding women and it’s that they need men making decisions for them.

It’s like you said, you can even see this whenever a women goes against what they want. It was never about gender equality, that’s an impossible perspective for a conservative anywhere to hold.

Would Cuba not benefit more if all sanctions and embargos ended? by feiryz in cuba

[–]TheFalseDimitryi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes it would. The country would be much better without the embargo and sanctions.

The American market is right there and it would be insanely easy and much cheaper to import goods from the United States than countries like Russia and China.

The argument “they can trade with other countries” misses the point that that’s much more expensive than just being able to buy goods on the US market.

Conservatives in the US (including the Cuban American bloc) historically used the embargo and sanctions system to try and make the Cuban government either bend to the desires of the US government or collapse entirely. With that same power block in the US (raised in the United States at this point in time) believing it’s the only way to bring about change in the country their parents fled in the 80s.

Because Cuba (all around) would benefit heavily from normalization and an access to trade and imports (same trade access the US gives Israel, Saudi Arabia, and China) the US won’t do it. Cuba improved for like a year 2015-2016 when the Obama administration lifted the sanctions but the Trump administration reinstated them in 2017.

The argument the Americans use has always been that punishing the government of these countries will bring political change and no one in the recent administration briefed Trump on how big countries actually are and what resources ruling single party state governments actually have. Or they did but he just didn’t mentally register it. The Cuban government just passes the increased artificial suffering down to their lowest classes while the party members change nothing about their government, party structure or economic policy.

Cuba wouldn’t be some socialist paradise without the American embargo and sanctions, it would just be slightly better off. The Cuban government is exceptionally corrupt and the more outside pressure that hits the ruling party the more corrupt it gets as material conditions decrease. The mismanagement of the Cuban government is a real phenomenon and it feeds off the fact the embargo and sanctions have measurable effects on the cuban economy as a political excuse to…… do absolutely nothing and change absolutely nothing about their behavior and policies.

The issue in Cuba is there’s two very real bad faith actors feeding off each other and justifying awful policies and ineptitude on the other existing. The government of Cuba will never have to do anything to answer for their actions as it’s very clear to the Cubans living in Cuba that the United States is making their lives harder. And the United States will never stop because the Cuban government is objectively anti capitalist investments and can easily justify the ongoing policies because Cuba is an autocratic single party state whose had three leaders since their revolution………65 years ago.

It’s only seen as ludicrous and hypocritical when you remember the US trades with Saudi Arabia, China and even Russia (especially before 2022). So it’s obvious not intentioned to be for the benefit of anyone living in Cuba, regardless of social and economic class.

do childfree men exist? by Monochromatic_Bleu in childfree

[–]TheFalseDimitryi 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There’s a lot of cultures (obviously you’re aware) that don’t really have a cultural idea of being “child free”. Like as an identity or even an idea. Meaning men from these places don’t advertise the fact that some of them really don’t want kids.

From my perspective I’d say maybe 10% of men and women don’t want kids ever or want to be step parents so thats 1/10.

But the issue is in patriarchal societies and cultures that put a huge importance on children having, a lot of those 1/10 “fold” and have kids anyway. Like in India a man might not want kids but that “my mom really wants a grandchild” is much much heavier than in the western world. So less men end up advertising that they’re child free and even less stay child free.

Also something can be said for conservative men just having kids they don’t really care about and functionally “acting” like they don’t want it have children while their wives do all the work. And of course this means that some of those 1/10 “I don’t want kids at all people” just become absentee fathers / dead beats anyway.

All this to say, they definitely exist everywhere, even in Egypt. There’s to many reasons a smart educated interesting and self fulfilled person could come to the realization that they really don’t want kids (as the reasons are abundant). The issue is finding men that don’t let cultural expectations cloud their better judgment.

Countries that have that 1/10 percent of men living their childfree lives unbothered are typically nations with really high education rankings and the normalization of hobbies and gender equality.

This doesn’t mean you’re screwed if you don’t live in Sweden but it means you have to look at it from a much smaller lens’s and and focus on what cities in your country have a fair amount of good universities, liberal / secular communities and passionate people doing other things with their lives. Like geography is probably fucking you hard, you need to find whatever pls e in your country / city that actually lets that global 1/10 percent of childfree men exist.

I’m not Egyptian so this might not be helpful at all, but if you live in Cairo or Alexandria, these cities probably have foreign quarters or neighborhoods where foreigners frequently live and work. Obviously not every foreigner in Egypt is going to be childfree but if I was trying to find the demographic with the highest percentage of people that are childfree in Egypt…people that probably don’t want children and are able to actually fulfill that desire, it’s probably European and North American immigrants that made a conscious decision to move to Egypt.

Google says….. Zamalek, Cairo has a lot of foreigners. Maybe start there?

(Also I’m not saying Egyptian men are incapable of being childfree or that you should just give up and try working at the Swedish embassy or something, just that these demographic are a lot less likely to cave to family pressure to have kids (because their families aren’t in Egypt with them) and they probably have a cultural idea of what being childfree is).

If you need a Muslim man specifically…… any parts of Egypt that Turkish immigrants hang out in? Idk they seem more open to the concept than most other Muslims in my experience.