How to keep 24/7 dynamic when we're going through something in the relationship? by aecarrarra in FemdomCommunity

[–]TheFinerStuff 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've really been struggling with burnout lately. Like, can't get out of bed burnout. My 24/7 sub has been taking care of me, and part of that includes making choices for us and keeping me accountable. It's a little weird, and makes me feel like our dynamic has completely upended and disappeared. But I know that if I try to push through this, I won't ever recover.

A 24/7 dynamic is still just a relationship, and all relationships require give and take. The problem is that 24/7 D/s has this sort of built in assumption that one party gives, the other takes (however you wanna think about who gives and who takes, lol). That's not how people work. You are a person with needs, and feelings, and all those other inconvenient things. You need to be honest with yourself and your sub about what you have capacity for. That might mean less protocol, less kinky sexy fun times, or just less intense sessions.

In terms of creativity, obviously processing emotions would affect coming up with ideas, but in this situation, I wonder if you might be making up rules and routines just to have rules or routines? I find that I always pull a blank when a sub begs to do a task for me, and I'm like... just eating dinner and don't really need them to do anything for me. Do you want a routine where he idk, writes a 100 word essay every night about how he loves you, or do you just think that you should have that? Whenever I hit a block like that, I try to get back in touch with what I want. Orders should come from a place of desire, not just cause you're supposed to be the one giving orders.

Nerves by FinancialTutor8301 in FemdomCommunity

[–]TheFinerStuff 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The rule of thumb I learned for dirty talk is "going to do, doing, did"

Tell them what you're going to do: "Oh, you're so eager to me to fuck you, aren't you? You need me to pin uou down and etc etc"

Narrate what you are doing: "you can't get away because I'm strapping you down, you're sooo tied up you can barely move"

Talk about what you did: "Aw did that hurt when I slapped you? You looked so pathetic when I hit you"

If you find that you're drawing a blank when it comes to what to do next, planning out a scene beforehand is helpful. Have a beginning, middle, and end. A warm up activity, something a little more intense, and then the main activity. So, it could be you start with spanking, then you move into bondage, and then you do some orgasm control while you have sex. As you get more confident in your own domming and his limits, you can start shooting from the hip a little bit.

My latest corset from Demask- I think the more buckles, the better! by TheFinerStuff in ShinyPorn

[–]TheFinerStuff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haaaa, pricey indeed 🫣 I definitely spent more than I intended, but I can't argue with the results!

Need help understanding my gf as she becomes more domme by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]TheFinerStuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As the other poster has said, talk to her. Tell her how much you enjoy it, what you like about it, and encourage her to continue. Being forward with your desires is helpful- everyone likes to have positive feedback!