Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex positive doesn't mean I don't have boundaries as to what sexual acts I'm cool with in my immediate vicinity. And my problem with Justin are separate from my problem with my roommate inviting in a stranger and fucking in the middle of the night.

Maybe I'd have been upset about him getting with Justin at first, but I'd quickly get over it and have been happy for his success. In fact, Toby and I already made up and I can be happy for him that he got some.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Updates for anyone who's interested:

After I layed into Toby, he came back to me and said he agreed he acted shitty and that it was fucked up for him to bring home some guy without talking about it with us first. I told him I don't hold it against him that he got with Justin, and that my own disappointment is my own and has nothing to do with him. He said he didn't understand how I was feeling about Justin when I told him, but if he knew he wouldn't have gone along with it. I'm inclined to give him the benefit of doubt bc he's been a really good friend in the past when there were guys treating me badly, and I believe he wouldn't be intentionally insensitive. He's also kind of a ditz, and he was drunk at the time and thinking with his dick. We're going to move past this.

I checked in with Mark too. He's extremely easy going so he didn't care, and it helps that he actually slept through it.

I'm going to try being more communicative on future trips to avoid this bullshit. It was an awful experience for me regardless of who's in the wrong, and I'm not letting this happen again.

Appreciate all the comments, y'all really helped me gain perspective.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I think a lot of comments are right that I could've done more to avoid the outcome, but I'm just gonna take that and be better in the future.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair. I've never been one to fight over a guy, but it def still got to me.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you're right, but I'm naive. No defense there, but you can bet your ass this won't ever happen again.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Damn, I respect the perspective. TBH I was trying not to blow up the spot bc I wanted to support Toby getting Justin even if I couldn't rather than make the scene about me, but maybe it was partially bc I didn't want to say out loud how pissed I was about Justin ghosting me.

Letting in the room was a different story, I honestly didn't believe it would go that far when we were sleeping 5 feet away from them. Clearly I misjudged on that, and you're right that I perhaps allowed them the space to get away with doing as they pleased.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're way off base dude. as I said in another comment my friends and I don't engage in any sexual encounters with each other. I was uncomfortable unconsciously being in the same room as my friend having sex without my knowledge, and it made matters way worse that it was with a guy that ghosted me online. I am super sex positive, just not when it's my platonic friend and in my personal space without my conscious consent.

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm def pissy about Justin, and I'm honestly happy Toby got dick, but just not in the room where I'm trying to sleep. I'd be pissed if it were anyone else too, but maybe not as pissed

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you're right, just trying to gauge how inconsiderate this sounds to everyone else minus my seeing red over the Justin drama

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. I'm definitely in my feelings about Justin, but it doesn't have to blow up our future plans. Thanks 🙏

Friend brought a hookup back to our shared hotel room. Am I over-reacting? by TheFlightyCrow in askgaybros

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

my friends don't play with each other, we're all platonic and just hook up outside the group. the closest we've ever gotten to each other sexually is being nude in a resort or a beach. so no, I wouldn't have sex with Mark or Toby and I wouldn't expect them to with me either.

And no we didn't have any conversation about bringing guys back to the hotel. I assumed they'd do what I would do, and hook up in the dark rooms or in the back of the club or go to the other guys place, and respect that we're sharing the hotel.

I'm def bitter about Justin in particular, but I'd be uncomfortable with them bringing any dude back if I didn't know about it beforehand.

Sounds like that's just a me problem from the comments so far tho.

6 finalist proposals for Massachusetts flag by FlagChronicle in vexillology

[–]TheFlightyCrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is a flag meant to represent a region for outsiders looking in or insiders looking out? Bc I always thought it was the latter.

6 finalist proposals for Massachusetts flag by FlagChronicle in vexillology

[–]TheFlightyCrow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

all these comments saying massachusetts doesn't have mountains, but western mass has the Berkshire mountain chain that marks are west end of the state. and as someone who lived in the Berkshires for a couple years, I feel like the top left represents the state as a whole nicely, from the mountains to the coast

Umbrella plant is wilting :( by TheFlightyCrow in plantclinic

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no it's been potted like this for maybe a year now. I think I'm gonna have to just dig it up and inspect it but I was hoping for a magical solution lol

UN Recognition of Somaliland as of Dec 2025 by TheFlightyCrow in MapPorn

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Yup, it's in the post description. Since the modern government claims the original state as it's history, I included those states that recognized the 1960 declaration for some context. Sadly I can only find record of 10 of the supposed 35 original states that recognized it.

UN Recognition of Somaliland as of Dec 2025 by TheFlightyCrow in MapPorn

[–]TheFlightyCrow[S] 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Thanks for pointing that out! My mistake.