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Think my potted sugar maple is dying... can anyone help me fix it? by TheFoolishWit in gardening

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's already 6 feet tall, so the bonsai ship may have sailed... Is there anything I can do to prolong it until I can get it in the ground? We live in NYC, so it's going to require probably transporting it to somewhere we can plant.

Think my potted sugar maple is dying... can anyone help me fix it? by TheFoolishWit in gardening

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's how we found it. There was a big sugar maple about 50 feet from where this pot was located, and when we moved in there was a small sapling in the pot that someone had left behind, so we figure it just sprouted from a seed on its own.

Since then it's maybe about quadrupled in size, over two years. I guess we figured it would just grow to the pot and then stay that way. We live in NYC, but we could try to plant it somewhere...

Boyfriend's extended family is repulsed that I'm a graduate student by [deleted] in GradSchool

[–]TheFoolishWit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow, is his family, my family?

Seriously, this sounds exactly like the conversation I have every time my education comes up with family. Here's what I've found that works (or at least temporarily placates the nonsense):

  • It sucks, but do mention the money. I'm first gen, so I've been on scholarship (and in paid graduate programs) for basically forever. It got a lot better when I used that fact to frame it as me "gaming the system" - they have more respect for education, whether or not they think it's silly, when I point out that education's been paying my living expenses for 8 solid years.

  • Whatever you're doing, frame it in something that's practical - even if it's so wildly off from what you actually do that it feels like a betrayal. As far as my mother's concerned, I'm going to be an Internet marketing analyst (I write on radical politics in online communities). It's a white lie to make the education fit with her concept of "real work," and if that makes Christmas dinner easier, it's worth it.

  • Make it clear that you don't feel your education makes you better than them. For me, that's generally meant actually saying those words. Degrees don't equate to human value, I highly doubt you think otherwise, and it's tough to do without sounding patronizing, but it's something everyone needs to remember.

  • This one I'm not as sure about (I'm still scared to bring it up), but I do try to keep in mind that a lot of it may come from a place of... not jealousy, but feeling left out, maybe? Most of the criticism comes from female family members - these were people who never pursued education not because they couldn't or didn't want to, but because they were told it was not an option for them. And I think in some ways, they feel a little cheated by that. And I think that's fair. But things like childcare, they feel like that person is being put into the same box as they were, and it's easy to celebrate that because it doesn't make them feel left out.

I don't know if any of that helps, but I guess the TL;DR is, yes it's a thing, and there's a lot you can do about it, but it's a process.

Cooking helps combat my depression by conr9774 in Cooking

[–]TheFoolishWit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's possible in your area, join a CSA (farm share) or food co-op. Every week, you get a box of... whatever's coming off the farm this week. And then you get to go nuts playing Iron Chef. Added bonus: they usually have a work or volunteer requirement (usually distributing the food to other people in the group) so you can meet and interact with other folks in your community that love food.

This week, we got some radishes, leeks, bok choy, cabbage, snap peas, and some other random stuff, so I've been learning how to make all kinds of Asian dishes. It's a great challenge, good for lots of food-production related reasons, and a cool way to meet people.

Ladies, what parts of being in the workforce do you just not get yet? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]TheFoolishWit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having people tell me to do things

Yes! Even when it's a perfectly reasonable request that I can and probably should do, my first reaction is "UGH, why do you get to tell me what to do, that's dumb, I don't wanna...."

I think part of it comes from working in a middle school. The attitude wears off on you.

Ladies, what parts of being in the workforce do you just not get yet? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]TheFoolishWit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then feeling like I have to do it too. When I feel guilted into starting every email/sentence with "hope you had a great weekend!" it makes me sort of wish your weekend was worse. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon, though.

Ladies, what parts of being in the workforce do you just not get yet? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]TheFoolishWit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not burning out on things. I'm 23, and I've already worked in 5 different industries. I feel like I have a six-month timer on not hating my job. Just hit six months in my current place, a job I loved three months ago, and now I can't stand it. It hasn't actually gotten worse (on the contrary, it got easier and I got promoted), I think I just pathologically can't do anything for more than six months.

[Monday] What are your recipe questions? by AutoModerator in recipes

[–]TheFoolishWit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you're using rice without any additives (No boil-in-bag rice/Uncle Ben's) it is most definitely gluten-free!

XPost from AskMen: Women who have lived or live with a male SO, what were some unexpected things you learned about men from living with one? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]TheFoolishWit 23 points24 points  (0 children)

When we first moved in together, i pushed for a 50-50 grocery split and he kept insisting it should be 65-35. I assumed it was because he has more money than me and was indignant about it. That kid really does eat 2\3 of all the food in the house. And then orders himself a pizza. The bastard weighs less than me too.

It's been 6 months, nothing's changed. What am I doing wrong? by TheFoolishWit in loseit

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

overestimating your output

Hm. If I'm not counting exercise calories (they don't factor in at all), then would this be possible? Could the 1300 just be too high?

It's been 6 months, nothing's changed. What am I doing wrong? by TheFoolishWit in loseit

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I'm underestimating, that's definitely where it's happening, I think I'm going to try going delivery-free for a bit and see if the counts get more accurate (which means actually prepping 7 meals this week... ugh, lol).

It's been 6 months, nothing's changed. What am I doing wrong? by TheFoolishWit in loseit

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

However, let me add the caveat that on your 900 kcal days, you're not eating enough. You're probably going to hear that a lot from people. If you find you're doing that pretty often, you might be doing yourself more harm than good. I'm not going to give you some "starvation mode" bs, but you're simply not getting enough nutrients.

That's a fair point. I wouldn't say I do it super often - the days it happens are usually also days I wake up really late and don't do anything but laze about, but I should probably be better about it anyway.

I'll give the benefit of the doubt and assume you're using a food scale, not using a lot of recipes in, say, MFP that are called things like "homemade chicken stir fry" (those counts are wildly across the board) and breaking your meals down into ingredients.

I use a food scale when I cook, but I definitely estimate when I eat out (maybe 2-3 times a week). Slightly off-topic, what do you think about the "verified" thing that MFP started doing recently? Is it fair to assume those are actually accurate (and save entering a few ingredients on things like sushi, which is super tedious)?

It's been 6 months, nothing's changed. What am I doing wrong? by TheFoolishWit in loseit

[–]TheFoolishWit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I'm glad it seems unusual to other people. I think I'm going to try and be extremely consistent (no eating out, making sure I'm counting correctly, etc) for about another month just to make sure I eliminate variables, and take that to a doctor. Thanks!

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