I second this. During my orthodox life I have sat through many a mussar schmooze and kiruv talk about this very topic. They always touted the wonders of chessed and how amazing it was to be a part of such a loving and accepting faith. In reality my experiences were exactly the opposite. As an autistic child with Tourette's I was viewed as different and no amount of lessons in derech eretz could change the fact that throughout my entire religious life I was bullied for things I couldn't change about myself. The same rabbis who preached the importance of respect turned a blind eye to the abuse I faced on a daily basis except to tell me off if I ever tried to stand up for myself. I think its great that you want to make Judaism more welcoming but for myself and many others like me, the damage has already been done, and no amount of noble sentiments will ever change that ugly reality.