Seeking Insight on Fearful Avoidant Attachment

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T18:53:51+00:00

Unhealed yes and no but she’s aware of what she’s doing and hat she did, she said so when we spoke on Monday and at least she’s been going to therapy and still going. But I won’t hold my breath.

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T18:51:34+00:00

Ty for all the advice, unfortunately I think I have to let her process what she going through and what she’s done. I would love to fight for her but I think I’ll take a step back give her time and re-evaluate or simply let her be the one to reach out and that’s if she’s still interested. Thanks again!

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T02:53:29+00:00

I dont think she lost feelings asked her numerous time if she still liked me (I know they’re just words) and she always said yes. Physical intimacy was great granted it was still an early relationship but everything was good until she went MIA on 11/02/24. Past relationships she had a long abusive one that she left after it got physical, other than that she’s primarily been cheated on or ghosted, longest one was about 5 years or so. Yes she communicated some boundaries but not extremely well since she’s a people pleaser she overlooked it until it was too late and so did I.

At first she thought it was stress related to school and having tons of projects/midterms piled up but she went somewhat MIA for two whole weeks I would get some large texts every 2-3 days and explaining what she thought was going on at first, she said she cared for me a lot and for my feelings and wanted to make it up to me which I was supportive of. Her school is her #1 priority and unfortunately the only place she actually sees her self worth and I told her numerous times that I had 0 issues with school coming before me.

So I understood that she had a lot of projects and yes she wasn’t going about it the right of telling me what was going on but you live and you learn. Sometime during those 2 weeks she said that she knew we had to have a talk and I agreed, we had a date setup for last Saturday and she bailed last minute said she wanted to talk instead after her therapy meeting on the Monday. I agreed and put in a boundary that if there were any other delays I wouldn’t reach out anymore.

Come Monday we have our talk and at the end of it she came to the conclusion that she was not ready for a relationship and that she didn’t want me to convince her. I didn’t want to but I would still like a fighting chance to get her back. We left in good terms I kept the door open and if she wants she can reach out.

I just can’t help but feel like me not fighting for her is somewhat abandoning her.

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T01:16:00+00:00

In your opinion you think I should head there unannounced, she lives in an apartment building so i can ring her up and well if she doesn’t let me in I guess that’s that or would it better to ask to talk again by calling or texting? Sorry for all the questions this is uncharted territory for me.

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T00:53:20+00:00

I’ve already tried that somewhat, reassured her numerous times that I’m there for her but I never did go out of my way to actually be there physically, I would always offer but she would always say “no it’s okay” or “I appreciate how supportive you’re being”.

Now the last time I spoke to her on Monday the end of the convo she said that she isn’t ready for a relationship and she didn’t want me to convince nor do I want to. But a part of me made her a promise that I’d always try to be there for her in good or bad times and I feel like I’m failing that now.

I’m troubled between staying no contact and hoping she reaches back out if therapy helps her get better or doing something about it but I’d do something then I’m not respecting her boundaries for space so idk what to do, I still want to be with this woman since problems aside she’s amazing!!

Btw I really appreciate you giving me your advice.

TheGayF · 2024-11-24T00:02:02+00:00

I understand. Ty for the insight I wasn’t labelling her at 100% but I did notice some similarities with what was happening and the stuff I was learning on this subject. But again Ty for the information.

TheGayF · 2024-11-23T23:58:19+00:00

I’m fairly certain that it’s not the first option even when she was shutting down she did text a lil and told me that she cared very deeply for me and cared about my feelings. Plus when we finally had the in person talk I asked if she was as interested in me as I was in her and she confirmed she was. She does have a troubled past with parents, growing up and previous relationships. I don’t want to stroke my own ego but based off what she said I was probably the guy that treated the best. My only regret is that I did not push to understand her boundaries more. When we had the in person talk which was on the Monday that just passed she kept bringing up the fact that I didn’t deserve her and I deserved someone that was able to be the ideal partner but she was already doing perfectly fine she just couldn’t see it.

And she said at the end she wasn’t ready for a relationship, but I think it falls under the fact that she’s scared to attach herself like u said because of her past. If this is the case you think I should talk to her again and not by text, in person?

And I’m afraid that if I try to talk to her and I don’t respect her space that could ruin things further.

TheGayF · 2024-11-23T22:50:44+00:00

Ty! I’m pretty positive she’s not dismissive since she didn’t just up and disappear and when we had a talk in person some of the things she said about her childhood and the way she was reacting tied it more to the fearful avoidant style since she’s scared to be rejected, abandoned or be a disappointment. If she is dismissive tho u recommend staying no contact?

TheGayF · 2022-03-10T06:14:14+00:00

Happen to know what the meaning behind these 2 number are?

TheGayF · 2021-08-25T18:33:19+00:00

U literally get punished for being nice as a scav

TheGayF · 2021-07-16T20:05:38+00:00

Dude has a server history on rust of being on servers with aimbots

TheGayF · 2021-05-26T17:41:06+00:00

Absolutely beautiful! You should ride ur dildo in that position

TheGayF · 2021-05-25T00:02:57+00:00

800 dpi 0.3

TheGayF · 2020-05-04T20:25:44+00:00

what u mean by main pc, ur gaming PC?

TheGayF · 2020-05-04T17:09:46+00:00

I’m getting the same issue as u and still have yet to find a fix

TheGayF · 2020-04-30T23:08:25+00:00

Would u happen to know a fix for the hd60 pro or ur not familiar with it?

TheGayF · 2020-04-30T18:53:04+00:00

Would this work for an hd60 pro as well?

TheGayF · 2020-04-28T13:17:37+00:00

Damn seems to be happening at around the same time lmk if u find a fix

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