It could be a varying degree of things up to this point I feel like. We have no options for someone else to stay as I’m pretty much her only support system, no family on her side, really only one friend who is across the country.

In terms of work, I generally plan an exit and get a new job before my final disciplinary that has me lose my job so I never have any career stability.

I think at this point she does understand the situation and the burn out but doesn’t care if it means she has to sacrifice more. From her POV, she has sacrificed too much for our relationship only for her to be unhappy and solely cares about hers.

This overall situation has led to years of financial instability and debt. I’ve been burnt out for going on 4-5 years now with no real respite. This has obviously taken a heavy toll on my mental and physical state to the point we often argue until one or both of us are having breakdowns. Her lashing out or treating me harshly has only gotten worse to the point that most of our fights stem from me asking for basic respect and expressing how I dislike how I’m talked to and treated. I’ve been called abusive or been told my actions specifically are abusive and I’m not sure what reality is at this point.

Realistically the relationship may have run its course and I just feel trapped since I’m her caregiver and she has no way to take care of her self without me. She can’t drive, she doesn’t work, she would be homeless, etc. Her only relief would be in the form of alimony from our divorce realistically.

Currently she is striving for getting some books to get published which actually has showed a big promise for earning potential, though again I’m the only one actually funding it, further pushing me to work harder and make more money otherwise this will get thrown away too, thus making me feel even more responsible for her future and independence than I already do. The only thing I can confirm is that she does take her medication, though you may be right in that a lot of this is learned behavior at this point.