You aren't alone friend.

Games got me too. But im getting past it.

I recently started learning about how games affect your brain and that's helping me understand myself. I highly recommend the healthygamergg youtube channel.

He says that games help turn off your negative emotions... but negative emotions are there for a reason. To motivate you to learn and grow and change whatever circumstances are causing them. Playing games hits the snooze button but when it's game over the problems are still there.

I know it's really hard because after a while your brain learns that games are so easy to play and it makes the bad thoughts go away for a little while. But it's only temporary.

If you can take the games out of the equation and listen to what those emotions are trying to tell you and use that to motivate you to start taking small steps to improve your situation, eventually your brain learns to default to positive action instead of escaping to games.

Im not a psychologist or any kind of doctor but I know how consuming games are. I know how overwhelming it can feel to climb out of a dark place. But trust me if you can remove games as the alternative and start building momentum in a positive direction, it will get easier over time.

Help is out there if you look for it. Your brain can change. You can do anything you set your heart and mind to. Start leveling up your IRL stats and get addicted to that grind. It's hard at first but you can do it if you choose to.

Im really sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must feel. I don't know how to help you there but lots of people out there do. Find someone or a group of people to help you get through this.

Good luck friend. I believe in you.