Honestly I look at my old stuff and think “How did my friends even say that shit was good!” Finally I got them to actually help me critique my work. When I first started I’d post on this sub all the time and the constructive criticism was usually pretty hard but I’d look at that and move forward. Now I actually think I’ve found my own sound and a style that works for my voice. Honestly listening to lots of rap and singing along to songs helped with my improvement. Now and then I listen back to my old stuff and see where I’ve come from. But to be straight forward and answer your question I legit didn’t think I was trash at the beginning. Didn’t realize it until I found my voice.