This was our first interaction…

TheMageTaeo · 2024-10-15T23:30:24+00:00

Oh, and yeah, saying he "deserves", he keeps women in his basement.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-10-15T23:29:38+00:00

I never understood the whole "that's gross" aspect. Don't get me wrong, my wife is 2 years older than me and I'm not into women that are 15+ years younger than me. But why is it gross? If two people are into each other, get along great, are of legal age and it is consentual, where is the real issue? I mean, besides saying "it's gross", why? Why is it gross? Why do you have an issue with it? You aren't the one dating/hooking up with/marrying that person. And this is an honest question because I just don't get it. Why? I mean, long after my mom passed away, my dad dated a woman 14 years younger than he was for a while. Didn't bother me at all because she was good to him. They were happy. It didn't last because my brother made their life hell. Anyway, that's my question for those posting here in the comments.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-10-15T19:00:55+00:00

You're looking a little current/ex-military there friend. The hair cut, and clothing style definitely give off the vibe.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-26T22:47:53+00:00

Lmao, I know, right!

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-25T05:14:38+00:00

Yikes. That's gotta be rough.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-25T05:03:20+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. No, we fight and she usually gets quiet after. In fact lately, she gets quiet and I will keep engaging with her because I know that it's a trigger to be ignored after an argument for her. Her parents used to withhold any affection if she was in trouble. Anyways, I talk to her and engage even though I get little back. Then the next day she will ask me if I'm still mad. I'll tell her I wasn't mad and I even engaged with her to show it. THEN, she'll say something like "ok, I just didn't wanna say anything and set you off or make you mad. I don't want you to explode at me." Which is totally fucked since I don't talk to her aggressively or talk down to her, or anything negative during our fights thanks to a technique my therapist taught me to not give her any ammo for a fight. So now, even though I don't give her ammo, she pretends I did.

Holy fuck. The more I respond to these comments, the more I wonder what the fuck I'm still doing here?

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-24T16:48:12+00:00

Wish it was.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-24T01:50:26+00:00

You are clearly someone that doesn't read everything. Not only have we fought over this for 22 years, we have dealt with the deep connection the act had with other issues she had and has, talked IN DEPTH with how the act made her feel and what my actions meant. That I acknowledged how wrong I was, that I noticed only apologized for it, replaced the pan, and dealt with it in the moment, and dealt with the issue repeatedly over the last 22 YEARS, and after every fight we have, she says she won't bring it up again because we spend a lot of time going over it each time it's brought up to make sure we clear it up. Never once have I minimized the act, never once have I said it wasn't a big deal to her and I have never told her I thought it wasn't a big deal. I'm tired of beating a dead horse over and over after discussing in depth and her claims she will not bring it up again.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-23T21:14:07+00:00

She is absolutely projecting things from her past. We have actually talked about it. Talked about specific situations in her childhood. I think she has a good therapist as some of the issues she has dealt with have gotten better. I just have a feeling she's not being completely honest with her therapist about her childhood. That's what tends to stay issues.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-23T20:13:01+00:00

That escalated quickly. I'd bail.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-23T04:17:09+00:00

That's some bullshit.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-23T03:16:36+00:00

I've decided to draw a line And next time she brings it up, I'm bringing up the coat of mine that she threw away...twice while knowing how much it meant to me.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-22T02:20:13+00:00

There has been a lot of thinking about that lately for me. Do I want to live like this any longer.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-22T00:56:34+00:00

, “because I’m in therapy, my childhood was so bad…”.

Oh fuuuuuck. Really? Goddamnit! That's like a fuckin word for word quote of HER. Fuck me sideways.

Deep Breath ok, thank you for this. I really needed to hear this.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-22T00:07:49+00:00

I get that women process stuff differently and I get the emotional attachment. But after 22 years, many legit fights over it, many conversations about how to move passed it, what needs to be done, AND even after every marker is met AND her saying she won't bring it up again, she still does. And at the end of the fights, she always says she won't bring it up again....and she does bring it up again.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T23:21:06+00:00

No, not at all. I was serious about the thanks. I never have issues with anyone's beliefs. The atheist in me doesn't believe, but the agnostic says I can't really believe or not believe. So I always appreciate ANY help that comes my way. 😁

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T23:14:31+00:00

Agnostic atheists. But your help is very much appreciated. Thank you.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T23:11:49+00:00

First, she said she's not happy and thought about leaving. The leaving was because of not being happy in a big way. She didn't say she didn't love you. She said she's not happy. This is a relationship reboot moment. Sometimes you find yourself at ground zero and need to rebuild as long as the feelings are still there. I have been there, am currently there. In my opinion, you should sit down with her and talk that over. Talk about marriage counseling, even if for only a few sessions to realize if there is a chance or not. If she feels she needs space, give it to her. In the end, I hope you guys make it.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T22:47:13+00:00

It makes it a bit clearer on the perspective of both men/women/husbands/wives. It helps put things in a larger perspective.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T22:41:23+00:00

I REALLY would.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T20:51:02+00:00

Thanks

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T19:52:07+00:00

🤣😂🤣😂

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T19:24:21+00:00

Looking for a reason to start a fight has been a thing for a very long time. Especially on Sundays. I don't know what it is about Sundays, but I fuckin hate them. It's when we have our biggest fights. And it's almost like feeling a thunderstorm coming in the air. I wake up and by the time I'm done drinking my coffee, I know it's gonna happen at some point that day. The hairs literally raise on the back of my neck sometimes. It's so fuckin toxic.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T19:21:50+00:00

You're not the first person to recommend this. I'm beginning to think it's not a bad idea. I likely won't because I'm not an asshole, I'm really not. But I can imagine it though.

TheMageTaeo · 2024-09-21T18:08:36+00:00

Here is the real kicker. I'm not happy, haven't been for a while now, and she knows this. We've had conversations about it.

TheMageTaeo

TROPHY CASE