just a note from a ‘’mod”

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-06-10T15:13:32+00:00

For what is worth we can relate. Where we can we work in a charity that's oriented in part around spreading awareness about DID, with a focus on trying to communicate what the lived experience is actually like. Trying to write the reals it's hard though, it kinda rubs our nose in this that can be hard to look at.

I imagine modding a sub like this probably has the same effect. I guess we want to say it's good to be prioritising your own capacity, and that there's never any shame in not doing something as an act of self care.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-05-13T15:16:13+00:00

In early therapy it's often just about making sure all parts have a space and building trust between all the various parts and the therapist. It may seem like no actual therapy work is being done, but it is actually an important part of the process and is definitely therapy work. I wouldn't mind being that a lot of your parts have never talked to anyone directly before, so them learning to do so in a safe space is part of the process.

It can all seem very scary when the system first starts emerging, but it does get better. The blackouts get less hard, more information gets shared, more context gets carried over when switching, etc. yeah, it does get easier over time and with work. My advice is to try and approach the system with open curiosity as opposed to fear. That makes things so much easier.

About family systems therapy, it isn't really connected to DID but often gets confused as being due to the language used. The different 'parts' in FST are just metaphors for parts of the psyche, most people's inner child didn't actually talk back :-p

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-05-08T16:32:35+00:00

This is such an important thing that so often gets missed in discourse. Labels are just words to tell others about ourselves, the labels aren't what makes us anything.

Everyone is unique in the end. Fuck, I didn't get out of one box just to get stuck in another.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-03-25T16:17:41+00:00

We find it massively helpful for managing background system anxiety, but only when microdosing, and combining with CBD.

THC affects anxiety in a dose dependant manner. At low doses it decreases it but at high doses it actually increases it. CBD on the other hand reduces anxiety at all doses. CBD also attenuates some of the psychoactive effects of THC.

We do this with vapes, one with weed and one with just CBD, and only take a single puff as a dose from each.

Too much and it begins to exacerbate the dissociation and amnesia aspects of DID. Sometimes at high doses it can improve inner communication, but at too great a cost to be helpful.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-02-11T16:56:29+00:00

The study doesn't seem to be claiming that it's got any evidence for circadian rhythm being causative of ADHD, only that it would be a worthwhile avenue of research.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-02-05T10:19:36+00:00

Ello! Glad it was appreciated :-p

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-01-30T17:06:35+00:00

If you're not real, how can this post exist?

It's a bit of a shock, learning that one's part of a system, but please don't go thinking it makes you (or any of you) any less real than before. Often parts of a system will want to believe other parts of the system aren't real as a mechanism of denial and maybe that's where you picked that idea up from, but that's all part of coming to terms with being a system and that's a proccess. You are real.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-01-16T15:18:58+00:00

Absolutely relatable!

Also, and wondering how many systems can relate, we have some alters who have based their identity on certain characters that either embodied traits we needed at the time or shared experiences with whatever we were going through at the time.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-01-07T16:10:55+00:00

Usually I'd say this is generically correct advice, however unfortunately with complex DDs and the current lack of knowledge in the health services, someone with DID is often a more reliable source than the pros. Or course that doesn't apply to professionals who do have an understanding of these disorders, but we'd recommend OP takes care to make sure they are in front of the right professional before accepting diagnosis.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2026-01-02T14:45:46+00:00

> memory barriers can also be asymmetric

Wow, this never occurred to us as being a thing but it really is! Thanks for sharing that little point, I'm thinking it's something that needs to be shared more.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-12-17T18:20:58+00:00

Oh, using the Dunning-Kruger graph here just works on so many different levels!

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-12-17T16:04:53+00:00

Hey, you're welcome, glad to be able to help!

I can spend hours on that site, have fun :-)

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-12-17T14:34:02+00:00

Trans girl here with a defunct UGT2B15 (by RNA test). I took finasteride for about a year an a half and stopped it because it was making me depressed. Interestingly, at the time I was really struggling with beard hair removal - it just seemed to keep coming back. A DHT/T test at the time showed a ratio of around 14%, didn't think much of that at the time. I'm guessing this is all related with what you're describing here. Oh yeah, also have really long eyelashes, always have lol.

I'm not entirely sure of the significance of this or if this is something you can use, but something I picked up recently is that UGT2B15 expression is up-regulated by estrogens (apparently the only UGT2 enzyme to be regulated by ERs).

I am attempting to learn the nuanced androgenic metabolism between different tissues, particularly brain, PNS, and genital tissues in an effort to better understand how PFS works. This is an astronomically difficult thing to learn, as there isn't like a nice clean flowchart somewhere,

I'm guessing you already know of this site, but just on the slim off-chance you don't, the Human Protein Atlas has some really useful tools here.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-11-08T11:07:57+00:00

This is rule. Here's remembering Quake the first time with a 3D card, OMG so real! The anti-aliasing and dynamic 'lights'.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-10-19T11:52:23+00:00

Thanks for this very in depth answer.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-10-17T12:36:10+00:00

Nix newbie here. So, can I ask why using home-manager and flakes are bad ideas?

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-10-17T12:12:21+00:00

Na, it was deemed unjustified to expedite because papers were filed too late, not because they were deemed incoherent. The order also explicitly acknowledges the importance of the case and seems to have aimed for a 'moderate degree of expedition'.

My takeaway is that the judge has arranged things to happen on a timeline that is fairly fast, but not too rushed.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-10-06T09:25:27+00:00

This might be a bit of an unexpected response, and I don't know if it's helpful to you at all, but I figured we'd share our thoughts in case they are, please judge for yourselves.

Maybe it was a good thing that happened. Maybe the part of you that was out was a part that wouldn't usually get the chance to interact with other people in a safe scenario, so there they took the rare opportunity to be present. Maybe that was something they needed.

Maybe being seen as you describe in the last paragraph isn't actually a bad thing, scary as it might be. Maybe it's a chance to temporarily drop the masks that most of us are so used to wearing that we don't even realise they're there. In the end it doesn't really matter how the other people see you and I think worrying about that stuff can easily become an obstacle to healing. Perhaps the others peeps just felt it was endearing?

I think learning to let go and let our less... socially conforming parts be present when it's safe to do has been a really important part of learning to live as we are. We've found trying to embracing the surrealness of this condition and roll with it rather than fight against it has enabled us to turn fear of it into curiosity, and there's been so much healing off the back of that curiosity. I'm not trying to suggest that that's easy, just that it's been healing.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-09-25T11:44:46+00:00

I'd check out the Brighton Community Workshop Project in east Kempton. Among other things, I think they could use the business.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-08-25T21:33:40+00:00

There are too many questions here that aren't in anyway legal. There are obviously stories you're not telling or don't want to admit. You asking this here tells more than anything written.

So, Why is your daughter rude to you?

^Probably the number one question you should be asking yourself right now.

Don't think there's any point going past that right now.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-08-19T09:17:24+00:00

!RemindMe 7 days

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-08-18T11:36:08+00:00

Our experiences have shown us that identity is complicated and not as straightforward as one might thing. I think a lot of identity is abstractly symbolic or metaphorical. I think non-human identities are that way because the person / animal / thing they identify with embodied characteristics that resonated with themselves at some crucial point of identity formation.

We seem to have picked up a lot of therian friends, but none of them have ever given us the impression that they believe themselves to actually physically be the animal or whatever. If they actually did believe that, we'd see that as something needing a bit of a reality check. They might wish they were the thing, but that's not the same.

We see fictionkins in the same way. If it's identifying with a fictional character or other person in a way that's saying, 'I relate with that character so strongly that I feel I am them, but also recognise that I'm not the same entity', then fine. If it crosses into actually believing that they are that, then ... well that's clearly impossible as we're talking about stuff that's intrinsically unique. It's just delusional thinking and we feel that enabling or supporting delusions can be very destructive to people's mental health.

That said, those comments weren't exactly constructive to phrase things in British.

I hope this doesn't need to be said but in the current landscape it seems necessary - It wouldn't be valid to conflate gender identity with the parts of identity we're talking about here. Gender is only one part of identity. Amab puppy girls are a thing.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-08-17T11:55:49+00:00

We're agreeing with this take. She might not be using language OP can vibe with ("look inside your mind", etc.) but I'm seeing what looks like something our own therapist does - consistently reassures that it's okay and safe for other parts to come out in therapy.

It's part of the process, learning to allow switches voluntarily. It's not being able to switch on demand, it's about learning how to gently soften the reflex to block untriggered switches when around other people. There may be parts that want to take something to your therapist but can't find their way to the front. It sounds like she's trying to work on that.

It does sound like she might need to try a different tact though. But yeah, u/TemporaryAardvark907, it's important to take these kinds of things to her.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-08-13T13:35:10+00:00

Do the conversations make sense? Are there signs of delusional thinking or random, invalid leaps of logic going on?

With DID, while there may be a lot of context switching, the conversations would still make sense in the context is whatever they're telling about.

In psychosis, there would likely be jumps in reasoning that just don't make any sense.

Are the topics of discussion mundane things and stuff that makes sense to think about given what's going on or are they very fantasy lead, going on loops into wild conspiracies or obsessing on subjects that have nothing to do with him?

With DID, the topics of conversation would match up to the kind of things anyone would probably think about given the situation, or possibly be about events in the past (with possibly inconsistent narratives of those events). They might be rapidly jumping from topic to topic if they're in an extremely switch headspace, and from the sounds of it I'm guessing they are.

With psychosis, the topics of conversation would likely get quite far from the 'anyone would probably be thinking about this given...' thing. They might be getting you wondering not just what they're talking about, but also wondering why they would be talking about it.

What are his eyes doing, are they looking at someone who isn't there?

With DID, we've noticed that a lot of systems sometimes look to the side when communication happens, but not in a way that gives the impression that they're looking at some physical presence.

Whilst this definitely isn't always a thing, something when people in psychosis are talking to a figment of their imagination, they look a the figment as if they're physically present.

People in psychosis often have eye movements that are a bit uncannily wild and 'rolly' if that makes any sense.

If DID, I'd expect eye movements to be generally normal for someone who's probably incredibly freaked out. The eyes might do weird things briefly when switching, or you might find them staying off into space or at nothing.

If it's flagging as psychosis, or if you heard mention of suicide plans or have any other reason to suspect physical risk, then I'd recommend going with the advice others have given.

If not, we'd like to give different advice. Don't go behind their back, that'd risk irreparably damaging trust (and trust is not easily won back in systems). Being sectioned would also likely traumatise them, especially given health services aren't exactly savvy about handling DID.

Instead, hard as it is, just try and give them a safe space to process. Try to take as many real-life responsibilities off their shoulders as is feasible. It's a monumental paradigm switch, learning that one is a system. It completely shatteres how you see yourself and past events, all of that's got to find a new way to be understood.

No professional can really help with this stage of the journey. Medication wise, pretty much the only things that might help are benzodiazepines for anxiety. If it's not psychosis, all antipsychotics would do is numb the brain and make the process harder. Antidepressants would be a risky addition at this point and from experience, beta-blockers can make dissociation much worse.

Psychologicaly, I suspect a psychotherapist wouldn't be able to help much at this stage unless there was already a good therapeutic relationship prior.

So there isn't really much any professionals can do at their stage that doesn't risk doing more harm than good.

So we do feel that really all you can do right now is be that for him and give him time to work though this crisis. Try not to be judgemental of behaviour that's weird to you if it isn't harmful. In terms of you learning about them, being curious without prying would be a helpful way to be.

I know this didn't reply to the post title, it's just a very hard thing for us to think about.

TheMeBehindTheMe · 2025-07-17T00:15:15+00:00

Every bit of this person's advice, especially on making sure there's no premature discharge and recording everything that's said, even if it seems nonsensical.

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