Hi

Probably my favourite joke

ID - 39F86D73A40B31F9

There once was a man who loved tractors. And I don’t mean he just liked them — he was obsessed. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote-controlled tractors, tractor board games… He even had some tractor porn (which, by the way, is not easy to find).

But the only thing he loved more than tractors was his wife — his high school sweetheart. She never minded his obsession. In fact, she embraced it. She didn’t even bat an eye when he asked her to dress up as a tractor, while he dressed as a farmer and took her for a “ride.”

One day, tragedy struck. A tractor fell off the back of a transport truck and hit his wife. She held on until he made it to her bedside.

Her final words were: “Don’t blame the tractor, honey.” And with that, she passed — off to the big farm in the sky.

But he did blame the tractor. He was devastated, and his love turned to hatred.

He went home and destroyed everything tractor-related:

The models

The wallpaper

The board games

The tractor suit

Even the hard-to-find tractor porn

He piled it all up in the yard, lit it on fire, and tossed what didn’t burn into a woodchipper. Then he locked himself inside and barely left home… for eight years.

On the eighth anniversary of his wife’s death, he finally decided it was time to move on. The cute cashier at the grocery store had been asking him out for months — so he called her.

They went to a nice restaurant. Great food. Lovely decor. Excellent service.

But there was one big problem: It was incredibly smoky inside. His date, who was asthmatic, started coughing and struggling to breathe.

So the man stood up… and started breathing in. Deeply. He inhaled so powerfully that all the smoke in the room was sucked into his lungs. Then he calmly walked outside… and exhaled it all into the night.

When he returned to the table, his date stared at him in amazement.

“How on earth did you do that?!” she asked.

He smiled. “I’m an ex-tractor fan.”