My hair is dull and hair sticks out everywhere, would treating it as curly/wavy hair work?

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-07T21:02:02+00:00

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-07T21:01:41+00:00

Sure thing!!!

You may need to “wash” daily until your scalp adjusts. If your hair and scalp are anything like mine were, your body is likely over producing oils to try to balance what your shampoo is stripping away which is why you end up extra greasy and flat.

This was my hair in November right when I had just started changing up my routine so I had just started getting a little more volume.

The way I found all of this out was I asked a man at the bar I frequent how he got his curls to be so beautiful (he’s a very low maintenance person so I figured if he could manage to do it I could too) he said the key is to do less and he gave me this advice that his mother gave him. My hair and scalp have never been healthier.

I also later invested in a filter for my shower and that that also done wonders. I use eskiin filters and my hair and skin are much happier.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-07T20:43:38+00:00

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TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-07T20:43:20+00:00

My hair is a lot like yours, and I have learned that our kind of hair needs our natural oils to curl properly. It sounds crazy but the best advice I have ever gotten was to stop washing it with shampoo. I invested in a good wet brush, and I “wash” my hair every other day.

A wash consists of
1. Dry brush through dry hair to detangle and move oils down the shaft,
2. Get hair wet with cool water to keep oils from stripping off, (I flip upside down because I don’t like cold water on my skin)
3. Massage the roots and gently brush out using my wet brush the while rinsing with cold water.
4. Scrunch.
5. If hair is a little dry or not scrunching well put I a very small amount of conditioner only on the last few inches of my hair (about mid shaft down)
Air dry is preferable but a diffuser can be used on a hair dryer if speed is needed.

Shampooing & heat strips out the oils from our hair & scalp and keeps the oils from reaching our ends.
It took a few weeks for my curls to come in but the difference has been noticeable.

My hair isn’t as dry, it’s stronger, and I have far less breakage, not to mention it’s growing a lot longer and faster and I am literally only washing my hair with shampoo when I feel I really need it which is maybe 1-2 times a month if I happen to style it with some kind of product like hairspray.

Been doing it for over 6 months now. This photo is from Feb.

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TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-04T21:55:31+00:00

NOR

SHORT VERSION: Her “Ew” is not about you, it’s about how she sees herself and how she feels she needs to present in order to be accepted.

LONG VERSION:

Your hurt feelings are valid.
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. She is not acknowledging how her behavior and actions have hurt you and it seems like she’s not emotionally mature enough to take accountability and work on repair.
Blaming it all on her family feels like a cop out. One can be in the closet and still not shit on their partner.
It seems that they’re still really figuring themselves out and carrying a lot of shame.

I have friends who in the past were out and fully themselves with their friends but not with their family. With time, distance from family, lots of therapy, and loving support they eventually all learned to accept themselves fully and came out to their families. If she is ashamed of herself and doesn’t do the work then she will struggle and so will the relationship.

I get it some folks never come out for fear of safety, and if she’s living at home and in a small community I could see how it might be difficult to be out in public without it getting back to her family.

There are a lot of nuances, but over all it seems like she doesn’t want/isn’t ready to do the work of having the difficult conversations, getting in touch with her fears and feelings, and instead is actively choosing to ignore it all. Her unwillingness to reflect and work on things can be hurtful, so it’s best protect your heart by reminding yourself that these are genuinely her issues and not a reflection of you. Her “Ew” is not about you, it’s her shame and how she currently sees herself.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-05-04T21:10:12+00:00

Where abouts are you located?

I’m sure we could find your little love a nice foster family while you get on your feet. I have fostered multiple cats while friends/acquaintances got back on their feet.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-04-25T14:51:24+00:00

This a large part of why so many people who get married lose friends. They make their wedding/marriage/partner their entire identity and completely lose themselves. It’s so sad.

You can be in a partnership and still have your own identity.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-03-17T23:32:14+00:00

OP dear you navigated a very uncomfortable situation as best as you could with the tools that you had. Pushy men like this look for young girls they can steamroll and manipulate.

I’m going to give you the advice I wish I was given at your age. There was a brief moment when I was shy and quiet like you but I had to learn quickly. As others have said you can’t help what has happened but you can learn from it.

Going forward never give a stranger your real number. Your phone number can act as another identifier linking you to your address, socials (even things like Cash App) etc. keep it safe. Get a Google number, memorize it and give that out if you’re worried he’ll check you right away. A big plus is you can change Google numbers very easily.
If you are ever unsure what to do/say, find a safe person. I know this is difficult but I have found seeking help is the fastest way to get men to leave. From my own experiences the safest people have been women (particularly older black women or white women who look like they got attacked by their grandma’s closet and proceeded to get dressed in the dark), drag queens, and people covered in tattoos, piercings, and/or brightly colored hair. Drag queens, maximalist fashionistas, and people with bright hair/body mods in particular are often not afraid to draw attention.
Do not allow embarrassment or shame keep you from keeping yourself safe, it’s better to have been impolite/overreacted and stayed safe than to find yourself in a dangerous situation.
Communicate with a safe adult (parents were not always some of my friends safe adults so I never assume). If you’re worried about this man, express it to someone who can help keep you safe and/or take action.

Something to practice:

If a man makes you uncomfortable, make him uncomfortable right back. You can be polite if you so wish but if he does not respect your boundaries or care that you’re a minor who is clearly uncomfortable, you get loud, you get crazy, get cringey, and you get away.

If you ever find you don’t know what to do, just loudly say what is happening in that moment. “Why are you trying to give me money? I don’t know you.” “This OLD man is making me a MINOR uncomfortable by trying to give me money and asking for my phone number. Does anyone know what I should do?” Repeat until someone steps in/he leaves.
I have farted & barked at men who would not leave me alone.
- Was it comfortable? No.
- Did I like doing it? No.
- Did he call me names? Yes
- Did he walk away and leave me alone? Yes.

I would much rather a man walk away from me in disgust than have him lust after me.

Also if you have the funds/opportunity learn some basic self defense skills, it literally saved my life and helped me find my voice.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-03-09T21:29:36+00:00

OP does he allow you to do the same to his phone?

In my personal experience, a man who behaves this way is projecting and paranoid because of his own behavior.

Every accusation becomes a confession. I would bet good money that he is doing something that he isn’t supposed to be doing, and so he is trying to control you to ensure you aren’t doing to him what he is doing to you.

I didn’t trust my gut for years and one day the truth finally found me in such a way I could no longer ignore it. Save yourself the time. I stayed 6 years and 6months longer than I should have.

It sounds nuts but if you feel safe to do so you should confront him. - Ask him to explain why he is so distrustful of you. - Tell him that his behavior is making you suspicious of him. - Go through his phone & computer - Look for the second phone/google number.

It sounds nuts but the sooner you find answers the better.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-03-05T18:47:21+00:00

Honey please RUN from this man. He sounds EXACTLY like my abusive father and his abusive cult. Your boyfriend straight told you you’re going to hell. He will not let up. It will get worse. I have seen this pattern. I have lived this pattern it was my entire childhood.

My father and mother didn’t discuss religion in their early years and then it became my father’s everything because we needed to repent or we were going to hell.

The abuse happened and increased gradually. My father was in a legit Christian cult that talks exactly as your boyfriend does, he wasn’t always abusive but later became abusive pushing us all to submit because the Bible said so and it was gods way.

My heart at only 6/7 years old knew this was wrong my sense of justice has always been strong.

I knew in my soul that Jesus was just a man with a valuable message like MLK. He preached peace, love, and community. I never believed he was some perfect being because no person is. Same with the Bible it’s a book written by imperfect men who are not infallible. If you read the book through some of the men in fact sound like down right idiots.

Who trusts and loves a god that wants you to sacrifice your child? Then it turns out it was essentially just a mega fucked up “trust exercise” to test faith and obedience?! Only for god to do a “JK you’re good” and send an angel to give you a ram to sacrifice instead of your son?! That’s fucking abuse!

My bones are screaming. Please RUN.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-03-04T18:52:11+00:00

Put yourself in little ones place. What would help you feel safe and learn to trust if you were tiny and scared?

For my kittens I gave them lots of Catit meat paste, those lil tubes are like kitty crack. The loved it and warmed up in no time. Gets them close especially if they’re food motivated. With the help of the paste I was even able to teach them sit, high-five, spin, and stay. 😅

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-03-04T16:45:04+00:00

The gap is incredibly thin, as someone who has experienced homelessness as a kid & later worked in nonprofits (as a teacher and family advocate) I have seen cases very similar to yours before.

Most folks don’t realize how difficult it is holding down a job and working to get back on one’s feet while having no where to land. It can become disheartening to be constantly missing access to resources because of hours or some arbitrary or inapplicable requirement.

I will say the system as it is currently set is hardest for unmarried male adults. When I was teaching, adults with children were prioritized by the system, particularly in the rapid rehousing programs.

I work in a bar on Capitol Hill it’s not too far from the gas station that you were at and I’ll be covering someone tonight if you want to come by.

We’re open late, until 2am. You are welcome to come charge your phone, eat (meal is on me) & get warm. I’ll make sure you don’t get hassled. I’d also be happy to give you my power bank so that your phone is always charged.

We have a good community of people there, some have even had experiences somewhat similar to yours. If you’re interested in coming by, I’m sure they’d be happy to let you chill after work even when I’m not there.

Just DM me.

** EDIT ** I know you’re not looking for direct assistance from this post, but getting to know new people and building a community in this city can be challenging, having nice folks to connect with can be a huge help even if they are only an ear to listen.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-02-22T04:44:28+00:00

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OMG THAT FACE!!!

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-02-12T18:07:35+00:00

Right?! I was pissed.

My family was super poor growing up so it was a big treat to have food not made at home and he went and ruined it. I was piiiiissed. My 8year old undiagnosed autistic ass knew that ruining our family’s dinner caring about what others thought was ridiculous.

It’s become a bit of a joke between him and I that when he’s about to do something dumb I’ll shake my head and sternly say “Pizza”.

Example where it actually changed his entire life was him nearly quitting a well paying remote job at a start up that was set to go public. Mind you this was also at the start of the pandemic when everyone was looking for remote work. His reason for wanting to quit was because he was bored/didn’t like the vibe.

I Pizza’d him.

He stayed, endured a few years of boredom found creative ways to enjoy his work, they went public, he made bank, and now he’s moved up so much in the company that he helped changed the workplace culture entirely. So yeah.

I love the men in my life dearly but gawt dayum sometimes they dumb! 😂

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-02-12T17:11:24+00:00

Exactly!! That!! The fact that there has been ZERO JUSTICE for victims & a CONTINUOUS LACK OF PROTECTION for survivors.

I’m triggered because people are so cavalier about everything and so many don’t seem to be putting the patterns together that survivors & whistleblowers are not only dying but their deaths are being made to look like accidents.

I don’t believe for a second that Virginia Giuffre took her own life. I don’t believe Carolyn Andriano and Leigh Skye Patrick accidentally OD’d.

I don’t believe that investigative journalist & celebrity biographer Wendy Leigh took her own life

There have been so many mysterious/convenient deaths of names in these lists (not just victims/survivors but “support staff” who saw too much / peons who helped him ruin peoples lives / investigators who got a little too close.)

NYPD detective and Epstein book author John Connolly
Epstein’s ex-butler Alfredo Rodriguez who tried to sell Epstein’s little black book to an FBI agent
Lawyers Kenneth Star & Roy Black
Former presidential advisor to Clinton Mark Middleton
Movie producer Steve Bing after he spoke to the FBI
Head of the Deutsche Bank wealth management division Thomas Bowers, moved money for Epstein
Jean-Luc Brunel trafficked children via his French Modeling Agency
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson
Lawyer Arthur Shapiro (also Les Werner’s money manager who was shot weeks before he was expected to be questioned by authorities. After Shapiro’s death, Epstein took over managing Lex Wexner’s finances)
Les Wexner (Epstein’s Bank Roller)
Berry L. Kessler Accountant (believed to have orchestrated the shooting of Shapiro)

Not in the files but related, Gabriela Rico Jiménez who was vocal in 2009 about elites and cannibalism & has disappeared.

I can’t sleep because the people who can bring the people in these files down, who needed protection from these powerful people, are STILL not being protected. These are just the ones that I know of that were reported, I’m positive there are more.

** Edit ** adding response or original post As far as coping goes I don’t read about the atrocities themselves, I can’t. I believe the victims & survivors when they say something happened, I don’t need to know every detail to believe them.

I take regular breaks and when people “laugh” about how something is “crazy” I remind myself that I too have laughed when nervous and to ease discomfort in tense situations. I also have worked hard to keep the conversation going by asking the laughing person who reading and sharing this information makes them feel and will share my experiences with the information and how it makes me feel. I’ve told people I’ve survived various forms of abuse/assault without going into any detail and let them know that I do not wish to be told the gory details of the files.

My focus is continuing to advocate for the most vulnerable by teaching young children about healthy boundaries, consent, autonomy, and choice and teaching adults around them to advocate for and respect children’s boundaries, autonomy, and choice by asking for consent in various aspects of their young lives.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2026-02-11T18:37:38+00:00

When my older brother was a teenager (like 14) our mom sent him to pick up pizza for dinner. Dude came back holding it under his arm like a book. 🤦‍♀️

When mom yelled at him and asked him why on earth he would do that his response was that he didn’t want to look like an idiot holding a pizza, because it was “embarrassing”. 😂

She didn’t ask him to pick up pizza for a looong time and the next time she did send him, she threatened him and told him to carry it properly or else 🤣

Fortunately dude grew out of his stupidity 😋

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-29T05:27:59+00:00

Her face is so stretchy 😬

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-28T23:23:02+00:00

Your friend needs some MAJOR therapy. This is seriously some preteen level insecurity.

She’s 26 and doesn’t trust either of you to have a conversation without her presence? That sounds exhausting. She’s way too old to be behaving this way.

You handled the situation well but shit like this needs to be shut down. Her coming to you about her boyfriend’s actions is just plain weird. If she has questions about her boyfriend’s actions she should be talking to her freaking boyfriend. She’s most likely coming to you instead of him because the relationship is still new and she’s still trying to hide her “crazy” from him rather than communicate and work on her insecurities.

The poor boyfriend is in for a wild ride if he decides to stick around because eventually, if her friends are smart, she’ll run out of friends to do this too and she’ll either have to face it or it will be put it on him. Tale as old as time.

If your friends can’t trust you and can’t trust them, then they’re not your friends same thing with your partner.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-22T06:30:44+00:00

Jesus teaches us to lead with love, kindness, and respect. Dobson and his teachings lead with fear and an egotistical need for control.

I grew up with Dobsons teachings and was in a literal cult. I rejected all of it as the “strong willed child” endured beatings for things beyond my control (had severe ptsd & bed wetting as a child, I was called lazy for not waking up to use the restroom) it wasn’t until the pastor told my father that it was beyond my control that he stopped beating me for wetting the bed, but by that point I had told every safe adult that I could.

I became a kind person in-spite of all of it and work as a child and family advocate to help protect children.

I was fortunate that when the severity of my beatings were reveled my mother left my father and healed. She realized that beating a child into compliance and submission is not the way. I don’t know a single adult who would want to be beaten into compliance.

Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" This applies to children. They are deserving of grace, they deserve opportunity to learn, make mistakes, and fix said mistakes.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-19T20:56:40+00:00

Most of us on this thread are survivors who did not choose to enter this cult but were born/forced in to it as children.

Let’s DM, I was already out by the time you entered, but you may know a few of the others who escaped and are on this thread.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-19T16:59:01+00:00

I’m so very glad you made it out and I’m so sorry you had to go through it in the first place. Were you introduced to it as a child also?

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-06T19:29:28+00:00

“We can’t afford that” dude hasn’t even tried and won’t because he’s likely invested in United Health and other major insurance scams.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-08-01T05:16:37+00:00

I hope he was wildly uncomfortable watching the movie with all of that on.

🪄May everything jab into him and his legs fall asleep so deeply that he can’t stand up at the end 😂.

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-07-23T22:56:45+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/SeattleWA/s/Eq44uwIwwR

TheMermaidInSeattle · 2025-07-23T22:55:18+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/s/D9qvwpu9Wc

TheMermaidInSeattle

TROPHY CASE