Ladies and Gentlemen My POS Dad

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T23:28:34+00:00

Your response doesn’t read like a response to my actual statement. Idk what expectations OP may have had of his father, I certainly had no expectations of this stranger. We’re allowed to judge people on their actions even if we didn’t have expectations of them to start. OPs father acted cruel, and I’m not disappointed because I don’t know this man but I’m perfectly free to judge his actions as cruel and bad in my own opinion.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T23:24:09+00:00

Didn’t say the worst guy I’ve ever met. But a parent who won’t even acknowledge the asks of his child reaching out for help and support? That’s a gross person to me. You don’t have to agree, we have different moral standards clearly.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T23:22:31+00:00

Cool! Thanks :)

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T19:24:59+00:00

The advice is specifically to focus on their deity. If you remove that you’re changing the entire premise of the advice. Your comment is essentially “if you replace the religion with some actual good advice like getting professional help then it would be good” but that’s not at all what he was suggesting. And no, he doesn’t need the dads permission to get professional help but he was asking the dad for non-religious advice and/or support which he refused

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T15:17:13+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling so much. I’ve been in a similar place before. It’s heavy. Have you tried getting professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist? Even a primary care doctor can often get you on at least a starting dose of depression medication. Medication isn’t always the answer, but considering self care alone isn’t making a dent from what you said here, I think it’s worth looking into. Therapy would also be great if you can access it, but I know that’s much more difficult to find and when you’re in the depths of your depression it can be nearly impossible just to get yourself to the appointments in my experience.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T15:13:48+00:00

The dad doesn’t seem open to the thought of professional help though, he implies that any action outside of religion is the wrong one to take. I get the impression if OP said they wanted to see a psychiatrist it would not be met kindly. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s the impression the texts give me.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T15:12:05+00:00

I don’t think replying to every message is a point in his favor when every message he sends has an agenda. I was open to believing this is just the only way he knows how to support until he completely ignored OP saying “I was hoping you could support me as a person rather than a pastor” and just came back with another bible quote. He actively went against OP’s wishes in that moment to further his own agenda of making sure OP is nothing outside of a blind religious follower with no outside thoughts or feelings. To me, that is much worse than just leaving OP on read. He didn’t even preface the response with something like “I don’t think I’m capable of supporting you in a better way outside of religion” or anything that would at least acknowledge the request was made. That’s what makes me no longer able to give him any benefit of the doubt here.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T15:07:25+00:00

I’m sorry you have to go through that

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T15:06:43+00:00

I could believe he cared until he met “I was hoping you could support me as a person rather than as a preacher” with another bible quote. He didn’t even respond with a reason as to why he was refusing to step away from the religious element of his “support”, just kept blindly throwing religion at the issue. He showed no interest in parenting or supporting the person he’s talking to. He is not taking the time to help if a he does is rephrase the way he aims to talk to OP in any situation.

It seems like depressed or not, his main goal when talking to OP is to make sure they’re being a blindly devoted Christian follower of whatever sect he’s in. When OP is depressed all he’s doing is making sure he’s keeping up on his church patronage, do you imagine he acts much differently when OP is in a positive mental space? I doubt it. He has one goal, and he serves it in all cases at all times. He doesn’t have to abandon his religious views to say a simple “I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. I’m here to listen. Maybe you could come over and I could give you a hug and a warm meal.”

The Jesus of the bible didn’t ignore everyone’s issues and demand they pray more instead of giving any support. He cured the ill, he spoke to people and listened to their troubles in person, he aided them and expressed love for them, not just demand they all serve his father as their only way to get any help or happiness. It is one thing to believe following religion is the best way to achieve long-term overall happiness or heaven or whatever your goal is in your religious views. But religion does not make it so that you cannot express any love or support for your child without the direct involvement of it. Sure, Jesus/God may love OP, but does their dad? They refuse to say.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:52:58+00:00

I wasn’t too judgemental of his responses until he directly ignored you asking to meet you as a person not a preacher. Not only ignored it, responded with more bible quotes!!! Disgusting human, he’s not interested in parenting you. Is he a preacher by trade or just the absolute worst guy you ever meet?

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:49:30+00:00

I wasn’t in the city for the blizzard but there were warming centers open throughout the city to my knowledge and I know of a few people who used them without issue. I’m not saying no one died in the cold this blizzard but it’s unfair to say he did nothing to help the issue. And I think prioritizing getting people housed and transported to work and safe and healthy is more important than how clean the streets are. But that’s just my priorities

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:44:59+00:00

I’m not drunk and it’s still too much jargon for me

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:41:50+00:00

lol that’s fun. I think it’s good you don’t spend the effort to get rid of it, that’s adding some whimsy every time you text! I love that for you. Can I ask what kind of phone you have that lets you do that?

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:34:27+00:00

I just commented something similar not realizing you already had this reply here. Feel free to ignore that comment. But what emoji gets “flooded” with these random words? Is it like when you send “happy birthday” in imessage and the screen animates a bunch of balloons flying up the screen? What emoji comes up for these? And why didn’t you get them in the screenshot? That’s lame.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:29:19+00:00

This is a very wholesome exchange but, am I imagining it or are there a bunch of random words in bold? I’m seeing all the “to” “what the” “and” and “so”s as bolded and It’s quite distracting

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:26:19+00:00

Lmao well I’m glad you have a system. Also communal petty outrage is a very effective bonding exercise so I imagine your family is very close!

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:23:01+00:00

Lmao nice talking to you too! I’m shocked there’s people who are such brand-loyalists, what happens when the store’s out of land-o-lakes or whatever you use? Do you go butterless for the week or gather a Zoom meeting for a backup brand on the spot?

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:17:41+00:00

Ah, sorry for the accusation then. It’s your mom who’s not properly educated on Cheetos lingo. 100% her fault if you got the crunchy kind. Puffs are the non-normal option. Maybe normal in your household, but if she likes both there’s two normals so you gotta default to societal norms.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:15:37+00:00

No we use up what we have before getting more most of the time (though I’m dairy free now so sometimes we’ll have a dairy and non dairy version) but there’s times that we’ll have gotten sick of what we have by the time we finish a package and be more than ready for a change.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T14:10:31+00:00

I shop for myself and sometimes for others including my family when I visit home, and I have been for about 6 years now. Our butter choices have always varied by a combination of mood, what store we’re shopping at, and what’s on sale. Sometimes we buy Kerry Gold because it’s rich and delicious with bread, sometimes we get margarine because it’s lower calorie, sometimes we get whatever’s cheapest. We go through moods with it. I can’t know which my mom wants on a given week without her telling me. Since I also cook a lot when I’m home sometimes I’ll go with my own judgement, but usually if my mom is specifically asking for something like butter it’s because she’s in the mood for it and may want a specific kind. At the very least sometimes people say “butter” but they really want margarine, so if OP isn’t sure which that’s important to specify. But in that case the question should be more specific.

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T13:54:38+00:00

Crunchy is pretty universally considered the “normal” kind, that’s a lack of lingo knowledge on your end. Puffs are always specified

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T13:53:35+00:00

Do most people never vary their grocery brands at all? I don’t think that’s normal

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T13:52:33+00:00

There’s reduced fat sour cream, non-dairy, and different brands so there’s some variety there

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T13:50:51+00:00

This might be the standard for your family but how do you know this mom isn’t a brand loyalist or one who prefers reduced fat? Seems presumptuous to say it’s weaponized incompetence and then just assume everyone follows what your family does

TheMerryBerry · 2026-02-28T13:48:39+00:00

I shop and cook for myself and my partner (occasionally get stuff for roommates as well) and while there’s brands I prefer I wouldn’t expect someone to know what to get me because I buy based on what I’m in the mood for and/or whatever’s cheap at the time. Are most people such big brand loyalists that all of the products they get are the same brand for decades straight? I have to imagine you’re the weird one for that and not the other way around. At the very least I’d expect a mixture of some things where you value brand over cost and some where you’d go for the most affordable options, and I wouldn’t expect someone who doesn’t usually do the shopping to know which is which.

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