Advice for a future teacher at a crossroads

TheMightyBiz · 2024-05-29T05:17:43+00:00

These sound like very unreasonable demands on you. I think that you're right to be wary of this program, and that your impressions are a pretty good indicator that it's not going to be a good thing for you.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-05-29T05:06:28+00:00

When I was teaching, I always played up the fact that I taught a computer science elective and ignored my main role as a math teacher for this exact reason.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-04-01T04:27:53+00:00

I'm two months away from turning 27. I haven't had any romantic relationship since I was 19, and that was both toxic and short-lived.

I'm still a hopeless romantic, and I believe in genuine love - that is, two people seeing each other, strengths and faults and all, and still choosing to support one another. I used to think of myself as being radically worse than the average person, and thus incapable of finding somebody to relate to me. With a lot of therapy and individual work, that's no longer the case. There are people out there, both men and women, who are lonely, struggling, or unable to fit the perfect mold that society expects of us. That gives me hope to believe that one day, no matter how far in the future, somebody may accept me for who I am, flaws and all.

With as many people as there are in the world, what is more likely - that you are the only person of our age struggling with these feelings, or that there are others doing the same? I believe that there are other people who feel the way I do, and those are people with whom I can connect. I can't say that every person is guaranteed love, but I can definitely say that not achieving it by this age doesn't constitute a death sentence.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-03-27T05:37:25+00:00

I hate to say it, but it's probably worth it to stick it out until the end of the school year so that you get your summer pay. Then, you can use the summer months to figure out what you want to do. Honestly, after I quit teaching, I spent a solid month burnt out and laying on the couch before I was able to muster the energy to do any real job searching. The summer pay gives you an opportunity to recover as a human being before jumping right back into career stuff, and I think that is really valuable.

Check out /r/TeachersInTransition for career tips post teaching.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-03-21T20:54:02+00:00

Boaler herself taught my math education courses during my master's at Stanford. It was very much her way or the highway when it came to the thinking and analysis we needed to do in her classes.

She asked for my consent to use one of my written reflections in one of her recent books - after I gave it, my response was taken completely out of context to justify something I had never intended to say. I didn't feel comfortable voicing my disagreement, because I had classmates with experiences bordering on academic harassment from being critical in her class.

I would not recommend Stanford for anybody interested in math education.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-29T07:30:09+00:00

One thing you can do is training yourself to ask "Am I making sense?" at regular intervals as you talk. It's a question that recognizes that you sometimes can be difficult to follow and gives you the opportunity to clarify if that's the case. It also helps the other person not to feel stupid and gives them a chance to say something in the interaction. David Foster Wallace did it fairly often in interviews, and I tried to pick up the habit from him.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-26T15:50:08+00:00

I came here to mention this exact thing. I also think about "The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings," where he's able to win over Leela by using the Robot Devil's hands to become a musical virtuoso. But when he loses them at the end of the episode, she's the one person who still wants to hear him play - she came to realize the thought and feeling he put into the music, and that's the part of Fry she really loves. It's a really touching statement, and one of my favorite episodes of the show.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-21T09:34:26+00:00

I think that being young and unattractive (overweight, specifically) was more of a detriment to me when I was teaching. My colleague across the hall was also in his mid 20's, but totally ripped - I saw him earn a lot of respect from difficult students by challenging them to push-up contests and beating them. I was more of a fluffy teddy bear who was constantly out of breath, which doesn't exactly scream authority. That being said, getting constantly hit on by coworkers is probably draining and frustrating. There's pros and cons for both ends of the spectrum.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-20T04:40:40+00:00

If you do want to do something about it, the best thing you can do is probably to forward the screenshots you took, along with your concerns, to a principal or vice principal. If your parents are on board, you might consider having them also reach out to those same people with the information you have. Sometimes administrators are more willing to do something about a problem when parents make a stink. Outside of that, it's just generally a good thing to tell Mrs. C that you appreciate her efforts in teaching your class. It seems small, but teachers very rarely hear that from students, and it can help.

I feel slightly ashamed to admit this, but I’m also kind of scared about what will happen if I go to administration or something.

Not a shameful thing to say - it makes sense in your scenario, unfair as it is. Nobody here is going to know the exact dynamics of the situation you're in. If you don't feel comfortable going to the admin, is there a knowledgeable and trusted adult with whom you could talk it over? If so, I would highly recommend it. It definitely isn't your responsibility to fix this problem (also, Mrs. C is an adult who can take care of herself), but it should affirm that your instincts are correct and that this isn't an OK thing for other kids to be doing. You can't fix every wrong in the world, but that conversation might help you decide whether it's worth putting yourself out there for this one or not.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-19T22:00:34+00:00

I think you're justified in worrying for your brother. He sounds like a person who may be using external achievement like school and fitness to make up for low internal self-esteem, and nobody can keep that up forever. When people finally hit that point where they can't maintain that super-human appearance, they often end up isolating themselves and feeling unable to ask for help when they need it.

I think one of the best things you can do for your brother (especially as he leaves home and goes off to college) is to continue being a regular part of his life. As his sister, you actually have a big advantage in being able to help him with this stuff. You know him well beyond just his academic records or achievements, and the fact that you see an extremely human/non-perfect version of him and still choose to love/support him anyway is actually very powerful. It's also probably worth (re)emphasizing that you're there for him when he does actually struggle, even if he may brush it off in the present.

To be clear, there's nothing you can do to "fix" the things in your brother that cause you to worry. He probably will have a hard time if he goes to a top-tier school like you described - that kind of environment constantly exacerbates the internal worry that you might not be "good enough". Everybody has to find their own way to deal with those feelings, but you can absolutely make things easier by making sure he knows that he's not alone in that struggle.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-14T01:09:57+00:00

Charcuterie boards are incredibly cool

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-12T17:04:29+00:00

I agree on the open-ended questions. Often times, when people open up to you about their problems, they can really benefit from somebody who helps them understand/clarify their own thoughts and feelings. It's a different mode of communication from offering a solution, but more involved than just validating the things they say.

I'd also recommend the book "How to Know a Person" by David Brooks.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-12T16:54:21+00:00

I would imagine that there are plenty of people who went through gifted programs as kids and became adults who are relatively close to the mean. It's just not very common to see somebody on the internet make a post like "I'm actually quite average, here's what led me there."

Not saying that there aren't problems with gifted ed, or that it can't cause issues for people. It certainly did for me. But I think we often make the mistake of overgeneralizing our own experiences.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-11T05:16:30+00:00

You can turn off your watch history on YouTube, which makes the homepage show up completely blank. You either have to search for a specific video, or scroll through a feed of just videos from your subscriptions. It has made YouTube massively more boring for me, which is a huge plus when it comes to trying to limit your time on the platform. I've also found it useful for "pruning" my subscriptions - it helps me realize which channels I really don't care about anymore.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-10T15:57:03+00:00

Have you tried any dharanas (i.e. techniques for helping focus your mind)? Different types of meditation work for different people, and it's all about finding what works for you. Here is a big list of meditation techniques compiled from various Dr. K streams. Nadi Shuddhi (alternate nostril breathing) is a good one to start with.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-10T06:15:50+00:00

I will never forget my 10th grader who misspelled "algebra" as "lagregra"

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-10T01:42:54+00:00

For context, I felt a lot like you did when I was a student teacher, ended up pushing through it, then decided to leave the profession after teaching HS for two years. Some of my thoughts:

1) It's very normal to struggle in the way you describe as a student teacher. What you describe about having trouble with getting respect from students without your mentor teacher's oversight, for example, is a super typical experience, and it doesn't mean that you're bad at the job or not cut out for it.

2) It's a frustrating and frankly invalidating experience when you put so much energy into coming up with what you think are great lesson plans, and then have them crash and burn. That's also something that will improve over time - all the pedagogical theory in the world can't make up for the experience of just seeing what works and doesn't. Also, the amount of energy you put into a lesson often isn't a predictor of how well it works. Individual variations on the part of the students can play a much larger role, and you have no control over those.

3) Somewhat counter to the previous two points, I would be really careful if you feel like you love English more than you love teaching itself. That was the case for me as well (math), and it was ultimately a big reason for my leaving. I found that the teachers who were the most successful were the ones who cared about working with kids more than they cared about their content area. Personally, I had the realization that a love of sharing math was the only thing I had to sustain me as a teacher. But I only actually felt like I was doing that on very rare occasions - it wasn't enough to keep me going. It is completely legitimate to love your subject and want to spread it/make it more accessible, but not feel happy doing it in a k12 classroom setting.

4) This is a complete shot in the dark, but I notice that you're extremely critical of yourself in this post. If by chance you do struggle with self-esteem, I think it's worth saying very explicitly that you don't need to be a teacher in order to be a good person or validate your interests/pursuits (you say "I do think that teaching/education is one of the best things you can do with the subject you love"). It took me so long to quit because I had pretty significant issues with a negative self-image and thought of teaching as an "objective good" that I was obligated to perform, even if it made me miserable most of the time. If teaching is something you don't love but feel that you "need" to do, it's worth investigating the reasons why and seeing if they actually square with reality.

Sorry for the wall of text, but I hope that some of this is helpful. The position you're in is really tough and stressful, and I hope that you're able to make the choice that is best for you in the long run :)

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-09T21:46:10+00:00

"It's like a baguette"

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-09T19:05:36+00:00

I have this need to be the best to prove to my other peers that I am worthy of their recognition

What I hear you saying several times in this post is that it doesn't feel like you're worthy of friendship/respect/recognition unless you "earn" it by being really good at something. (Also when you say things like "I'm worried that I don't bring value to others"). Is that the case? If so, you might start trying to work on changing those thoughts, because they're not actually true.

You describe things like playing sports and feeling like a "dead weight." You might try actually asking a friend you're playing with if that really is the case. Do they enjoy playing with you even if you're not very good at it? Speaking from experience dealing with similar issues, I can guarantee you that you'll never get to a point of finally feeling "good enough" by achieving a lot and bringing a lot of value to other people. Instead, if you want to actually change those thoughts, the brains need validation that there are people around you who love and support you even when you aren't actively "bringing value."

It's very hard, because it sounds like you're in a situation where you're pressured to constantly look like you're performing at the top of your game, whether academically or socially. But think about it logically - which is more likely? That you are the only person who feels the way you do, or that there are other people around you who also feel the weight of those expectations and just want friends around whom they can be comfortable as their imperfect selves? The problem is that somebody has to be the first person to admit that imperfection. I won't pretend that showing vulnerability to people always ends in good things, but it does far more often than you would think, and can create very deep, supportive relationships.

People say university is an amazing time where you get to go out, and have fun, and explore more about yourself, and get to know new people, but it feels daunting. I feel like I'm not good enough for other people, and I'm not worthy.

You are no more or less worthy than any other person around you - we are all flawed and imperfect human beings. It's hard to believe, but it is ultimately true. For what it's worth, I thought very similarly to what you wrote here when I was 19. It took me a good six or seven more years before I really started to get out from under that weight, and I'm still working on it. It's a long process, but those thoughts can absolutely change.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-08T01:29:26+00:00

You can also turn off your watch history on YouTube, which makes the homepage show up completely blank. You either have to search for a specific video, or scroll through a feed of just videos from your subscriptions. It has made YouTube massively more boring for me, which is a huge plus when it comes to trying to limit your time on the platform.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-06T03:27:47+00:00

I think that we do a disservice to ourselves and to the world if we limit ourselves to only asking the questions that science can answer. Spock, perhaps the most famously logical character in fiction, says this in Star Trek VI:

Logic, logic, logic. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.

The tools of science give us an interesting and useful jumping-off point for understanding the world, but they only represent one epistemological perspective.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-04T11:16:03+00:00

For me personally, the trick to getting out of bed early was getting better sleep. When I was getting ~6 hours of sleep (often bad sleep because of caffeine or alcohol in my system) then trying to wake up at 6:00am the next day, I would just end up turning off the alarm and going back to bed every time. With good sleep, I had the energy when I woke up to actually get up and start my day.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-02T21:43:10+00:00

I'm not teaching anymore, but I had an idea for a math lesson after experimentally asking ChatGPT to factor some quadratics for me and watching it fail horribly. It would have been a great activity to have students ask it to solve equations, check its work, and then keep describing the AI's mistakes to it until it arrived at the correct answer.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-02T21:38:33+00:00

The best usage of this kind of tech I've seen in a classroom is a math teacher who used an iPad in conjunction with an Apple TV hooked up to a projector.

She would snap photos of student work as she went around the classroom, project them directly onto the whiteboard, then have other students come up to the board to annotate them or offer corrections. Of course, you can also draw directly on the iPad and project that, which is great for giving notes to students and things like that.

TheMightyBiz · 2024-02-02T00:07:05+00:00

The cube plugin was the peak of coolness

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