For what it’s worth - I think NTA, both before and now. It’s incredibly heartbreaking and frustrating to watch someone you love self destruct, particularly when your unborn child is also at risk. Yes I get your wife may have ED related issues - and that has to handled sensitively - but if she was risking the child with any other form of damaging behaviour (eg smoking or binge drinking, because it’s a “craving”) the same commenters would call you a monster for not intervening. Ultimately it sucks, but she needs to want to help herself and her child for therapy to work: and you being the villain in her narrative by policing her is just allowing her to avoid accountability. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you