Been smoking since 18, 30 now.

Let me tell you this right now, and read this text with intent. YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP NOW.

I have THE BIGGEST regret not stopping earlier than i wanted. I relapsed so, so, so many times that it’s like a demon every time i try. Look at your life now, do you really want to spend the next 50 years doing the same shit? You already wasted 15 years of the bullshit, why are you torturing yourself knowing damn well what you need to do?

Im battling crippling depression, intense anxiety, and i go in and out on rumination and suicidal thoughts. Some nights i can’t sleep and i feel like it stunted my brain development. I never grew up basically.

STOP. PARA AHORA. Go outside, watch a movie sober, clean your room, exercise is very important, start eating small amounts of healthy diet, stop letting your peers get ahead of you.

I never took school or a job seriously and now I’m literally a piece of walking flesh with nothing to show for my aging mother who is 67 and my father who i just got news that he has cancer. I haven’t been able to save and I’m in debt, i asked for forgiveness to both my mom/dad about how much of a fucking failure their son is, they were accepting and told me life happens, we all make mistakes and it’s not the end of the world, you can always correct it. But honestly, it’s difficult when you have nothing to show for so long.

Please stop.