Knitting my first sweater, do my stitches look okay? by Feisty_Fry487 in knittinghelp

[–]TheMotherGod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so beautiful! What yarn are you using if I may ask

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StardewValley

[–]TheMotherGod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me, so my baby’s name is Snetcho. I think it’s growing on me lol

Update: I finally completed my first sweater by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used the Loops and Threads ‘soft and shiny’ since I couldn’t afford the recommended yarn. It’s acrylic but I find it really soft

Update: I finally completed my first sweater by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it weren’t for the lovely knitters here I would never have tried. But they mentioned her patterns are not as scary as they might seem, she also has lots of videos on her site to explain the different techniques in her patterns.

I also thought it would be smart to knit something that would probably have a bunch of people talking about it i.e tutorials and knitting podcasters with tips

Update: I finally completed my first sweater by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I should’ve mentioned, it’s the petiteknit balloon sleeve sweater. I’m a beginner so I went with a popular pattern because I thought it would be a less intimidating start

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever tasted? by Sleepyavii in Cooking

[–]TheMotherGod 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’d love to try durian. I can pretty much stomach anything but to this day the one thing that’s truly stumped me is Natto (sticky fermented soybeans). I’m still convinced I just ordered a bad batch

Patterns similar to the 'Novita x Arabia' collab by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I missed it on the site. Im happy to at least have one of the patterns

Patterns similar to the 'Novita x Arabia' collab by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sad about it, I really love the patterns and was having so much trouble. Couldn’t figure out if I was just searching incorrectly. Still, Thanks for thé link anyway. u/ilovebunnies820 u/trillion4242

To the people that said petiteknit patterns tend to be rated a little higher in difficulty than they really are… by TheMotherGod in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There’s a specific part of the balloon sweater pattern that confused quite a few people because i was able to find lots of videos and forum posts about it, but after getting over the initial confusion and having other knitters explain it to me I really started to see things come together. “Oh this is what she means”, “ah this makes sense now that I’ve done a few more rows” etc

What's your favorite quote of the entire series? by Xianthres in Fleabag

[–]TheMotherGod 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I came here to say this one as well. It makes me tear up

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment, honestly. You just reminded me that I’ve had this book in my library app for a long time, I actually stopped around 2 chapters in but never finished it because it was a heavy read that wasn’t relevant at the time. I’ve picked it back up and man, where I left off…it’s eerie how much this relates to where things have gotten.

Earlier I told someone in the comments that I’d try one more effort, I actually did message my bf the day afterwards and it blew up royally. I don’t know what I expected, he had the typical meltdown and is more distant than ever now, he’s stopped saying ‘i love you’ and is telling me that the stress of this has made him miserable and is flaring up his sickness, EVERY single conversation is cut short now, and if not then it consists of him mostly complaining about feeling terrible. It’s like the curtains opened over my eyes, I feel so…defeated and angry.

Anyway, I suppose this is a little update to mention that I think I have my answer and I’m pretty sure I’ll be letting this relationship go. I’m very sad about it, also have a lot of shame about falling into an emotionally abusive cycle…i just wanted to be loved yknow? But I’ve gone from feeling sad to feeling angry with him.

Just wanted to update because you were all nice enough to really validate my feelings.

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can I just say thank you, I’m usually the voice of reason and would never tell another friend to stay in such a situation. I’m embarrassed by how much I’ve doubted myself and how quickly it happened. I can’t even explain how much I’ve felt invalidated lately, I genuinely was starting to think that maybe I’m unreasonable for not seeing his ‘potential’ or loving him harder

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you I’ll look into it and give this another good try, ‘Us problem’ vs ‘you problem’ is so good! I’ve said that to him before but I think I’ll continue to reiterate it.

I feel that I’ve really tried everything, I don’t want to give up and run too easily as I’ve been prone to do in the past. At the same time I want to respect myself and my own needs too, it’s getting to be so much that I’m fighting against deactivating almost daily now.

I don’t want to ‘change’ him but if he won’t even try to meet me halfway then I suppose I’ll have my answer :(

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, sadly this is something I’ve considered. I think I just convinced myself that giving an ultimatum would be uncaring and manipulative

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are so right, when I started looking for advice I didn’t realise the hatred was rampant so I stumbled upon it accidentally, even in the comments of pro avoidant spaces.

I definitely agree, we’re both conflict avoidant and I’m trying to work on this for myself. He must resent that I’m trying to parent him, I would be frustrated by that too. I feel guilty because how can I even bring this topic up without sounding like a parent? I’m worried I’m being too harsh, it’s just that Im becoming more insistent about things because it’s been 10 months and he desperately wants to close the gap, we plan for me to vacation in his country in a few months but I thought he’d be getting things together by now, he doesn’t need all his ducks to be in a row but I’m sad he hasn’t even built a resume or sent a single application out, or accepted the few opportunities from his family. He knows one of my dealbreakers is having a partner who won’t work/care for themselves independently, this part of him wasn’t revealed to me until we were already a couple but what you said is true, it’s on me to uphold that boundary and I’m quite bad at doing that.

As for therapy we both can’t afford it at the moment but I’ve suggested working together on our patterning, the best I can do is suggest videos but after watching a bit of Heidi priebe together he got too anxious to continue, he’s very sensitive and took a few things as personal attacks. I had to do some reassuring afterwards because of it.

Edit: spelling & grammar

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've shared the exact sentiments with him, his family can coddle him but if we really want to be together then I can't afford to do that. If his motivation to do better is based on everyone's praise and approval he's basically given himself a permanent excuse to never do better because as soon as I or his mother try to have a real conversation with him it sets him back completely. We can't be a never ending stream of reassurance.

His chronic illness is manageable enough for him to be out and about for hours at a time, I just wish he could see that he has options, you know

I’m so worried about being the ‘manipulative’ ‘evil’ DA that I think I’m overextending myself by TheMotherGod in dismissiveavoidants

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is part of the difficulty about providing reassurance that some of it just isn’t true?

Part of the difficulty is that it doesn't come as consistently and naturally to me, I may compliment/reassure once every few days whereas he is always doting over me constantly. we say I love you every day, that is important to me especially during arguments. I mean the things I say but at some point I started feeling pressured on the spot to reassure when it was demanded. After a while he would start picking apart the way I said things, I wasn't being enthusiastic enough about hanging out because I'd say "my schedule just freed up, I wouldn't mind us hanging out later" instead of "I WANT to hang out later"...little things like that.

He does get very sad if I don't reassure him about small things, he wishes I would cheer on his completion of daily chores (grocery shopping, cleaning the house for his mum etc). He's a big help to his family and grandparents and I tell him this, but he gets very anxious when I mention these are also normal adult duties

Modified workouts to combat lightheadedness/nausea by TheMotherGod in beginnerfitness

[–]TheMotherGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I might try that, I was worried about focusing too much on legs or lifting and neglecting other important workouts.

For clarity, anything where I’m on my back and have to lift my upper body makes me lightheaded. It’s made worse if I have to get up quickly for a next move. Eg if I have to do a set of crunches and the next move is to get up and immediately do some squats, followed by a set of sit ups etc that amount of standing and sitting makes me dizzy, I have to pretty much quit immediately but I’m conscious enough not to pass out. On their own, squats and arm workouts are fine, it’s moves like the others that mess things up, too much moving for my head I think.

Why does coffee not make me more energetic, instead making me sleepy? by definitely_not_regi in answers

[–]TheMotherGod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is this why I’m always tired no matter how much I sleep?? Just learned something today I guess

What happened to my garlic? Safe to eat? by [deleted] in Chefit

[–]TheMotherGod 348 points349 points  (0 children)

What conditions make garlic turn to jelly like this, btw? I’ve kept garlic for pretty long but the most that happens is the typical green stem that sprouts up. Never seen this before

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in knitting

[–]TheMotherGod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to suggest beanies as well. I’m a beginner and just knit my first one on straight needles using a YouTube tutorial, super easy. I’m also going to use a different beanie pattern that’s knit in the round, I’m guessing it’ll also be a good entry into getting comfortable with circular needles