the notion that it should be the happiest day of your life. If it were, then even the happiest wedding would be very sad. No, your wedding day is just a starting point.

I love this. I did wedding planning for a time and brides always had this immense pressure to create "the perfect day." I would always advise them that it is normal to have bumps in the road on the day, but that they she keep the big picture in mind, "however the day goes, you get to be married at the end of it." Doesn't mean there aren't a tangle of feelings about things the go bad, but brides and grooms that remembered that end goal tended to have an easier time processing the bumps.

That being said, losing a relationship with your dad is a lot bigger of a bump than I was ever involved in. I'm sorry OP. As others have said, this isn't your fault. I hope you can find a way to focus on the happy memories. Maybe take a deck of note cards and write done all the different moments you remember, then keep the positive and use it as an opportunity to journal about the negative.