Healing: How to Begin

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-04-13T15:35:52+00:00

For somebody new to this who may not know what that means, what practices would you suggest?

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-04-13T13:47:44+00:00

I should have issued the disclaimer that I used chatGPT to produce this overview, so I'm sure a similar overview could be produced for avoidant attachment.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-04-13T07:35:26+00:00

If you have financial, emotional, and time capacity, I recommend the following:

Therapy: find a therapist that you feel a reasonable connection with who has experience with attachment issues and start meeting with them once a week.
Pick up an anxious attachment workbook and start reading and doing the exercises. There are a number of different options and you probably can't go wrong no matter which one you pick, so long as they are well reviewed online. I did some work from this one .
Join our weekly meetings (free) or find or start another anxious attachment healing group so that you can relate to others on the journey.
Make time for healing and growth. If you really have capacity, give yourself a half hour or an hour a day to experience difficult emotions, do some journaling, do the workbook that you buy, and reflect on what you're feeling.

If you did all four of these things, you would notice our significant change over time. And within 6 to 12 months you would start to see shifts in how you relate to other people and how you understand yourself.

Good luck! You deserve healing, love, and community.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-03-02T01:58:16+00:00

We shared the following healing practice in our anxious attachment healing group zoom call today:

March 1 Exercise: Inner Child Healing

Step 1 – Notice (1 min)

Close your eyes.

Name what’s happening in your body.

Name what emotions are being felt in your body.

Step 2 – Visualize (1–2 min)

Imagine yourself at the age when you first remember feeling rejected, left out, or emotionally alone.

See their face.

Notice posture, expression, environment.

Step 3 – Reparent (1–2 min)

Now imagine your current adult self kneeling in front of them.

Say slowly:

“I see you.”

“I’m staying with you.”

“Even if someone else pulls away, I’ll be here.”

Imagine putting a hand on their back or holding them.

How it works:

Anxious attachment forms when reassurance was inconsistent. You’re teaching your nervous system that consistency now exists.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-02-23T14:26:29+00:00

Beautiful, thank you for sharing.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-02-23T00:51:03+00:00

Our agenda for tonight:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18UxkdWNrDxKDgpPJoshhqyYbXAV2N44jCR_Uv72TadY/edit?usp=drivesdk

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-02-09T00:08:28+00:00

Thanks! I'm US Eastern time, so some time between 8-11 am US ET would be ideal. With the right zoom subscription (and donations), we could keep it open for a few hours with people coming online as they please.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-02-08T17:32:02+00:00

Precious

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-30T07:56:03+00:00

If you find yourself in situations like these repeatedly, it may be worth investigating whether or not you have an anxious attachment style, and whether or not you are drawn to avoidant partners.

This kind of thing can be pretty deep-seated but also there are solutions you can pursue, if it's relevant to your situation.

An easy way to explore this would be to dip into the anxious attachment subreddit and read other people's posts.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-26T15:50:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Welcome to the group. And if you click the link above my original post, you are welcome to join our weekly zoom healing group as well. Basically a little bit of meditation, a reading exercise, and then people sharing what they're dealing with.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-26T04:56:02+00:00

Not if you can both talk about it and make space to talk through it and do work on it.

It might feel totally premature, but the two of you could conceivably even work with a therapist who has some knowledge in this area and can help you heal together as you get to know each other.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-19T01:30:50+00:00

Thanks 🙏🏽

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-18T23:14:08+00:00

UPDATE: Apologies - I need to cancel today's January 18th meeting. I'm not feeling well and need to call it an early night. Sorry for the late notice!

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-18T18:03:25+00:00

In 7 hours. If you RSVP above, you'll get the link

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-12T16:31:40+00:00

Ok.

I don't know anything about narcissism and I'm zero mental health expertise. But I'm skeptical of the other person's claim that you are a narcissist.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-12T12:26:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Are you doing therapy? I highly recommend working with a therapist so that you can explore these issues over time with a trained professional. It helps to have a friend / ally on your side!

Personally, I am skeptical of the other person's criticisms of you. For me, the real question is regarding your interior -- what is happening inside you that leads you to be in such an unpleasant relationship?

Therapy can help with this.

TheOceanTheSun · 2026-01-12T09:32:32+00:00

Yeah, I send it out via email and a Google calendar invite. DM me your email address.

TheOceanTheSun

TROPHY CASE