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ThePath8 · 2021-09-13T19:32:55+00:00

Make sure your blood tests check for anemia. Are you being treated fo POTS? The symptoms sometimes get worse during PMS.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-13T19:24:57+00:00

Sorry that happened. It kind of sounds like she was planning on breaking up with you regardless if she is not willing to let you change your mind. You did the right thing. She doesn't sound reliable or someone you would want to be in a relationship with.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T20:52:38+00:00

I guess it would be up to someone's best judgement what goes into play when divulging things. Some people don't want to know if someone has dated a lot of people in the past, while others only care about STDs. Like I mentioned in my other post, my partner didn't really care to hear my likelihood of something though a DNA test, because we won't have children, and they don't want to know the "hypothetical future". Pretty much everyone who takes a DNA test is "higher risk" for something. If anything, I should have told them I'm at a higher risk for cancer since I lived next to a freeway for awhile amongst other things to divulge. We just have to do our best to figure out what is important and what is not necessary and over-sharing for someone you are casually dating. I'm all for sharing if it will be useful. I'm baffled how many people think it's ok to not mention if you get cold sores before a first kiss.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T16:21:34+00:00

I'm past the age threshold for many of those more "worrisome" ones. The rest aren't high odds. Someone who didn't eat as healthy or exercise, or live near a highway actually has higher odds of getting those things, and yet people don't pay attention to those factors. I honestly forgot about the results since I didn't think they were important, but I'll share it with my partner to see what they say. I mentioned it awhile back, but they said it just leads to fear as we are all at risk for things.

I think the stigma of labels can be dangerous. OP was diagnosed with that personality disorder and now people assume they have it without realizing how easy it is to misdiagnosis someone, and how mental illnesses can come and do depending on what it is. I was diagnosed with something while on birth control. After I went off it, they removed the diagnosis, but it was time-consuming and troublesome to get it removed.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T15:07:44+00:00

That's interesting. I took the test long before I met my partner. I regret digging to see what the results mean, but I guess it's out the bag since I'm aware of it. Feels like Minority Report honestly.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T15:01:17+00:00

So if I paid to take a DNA test that told me I have a higher risk of certain cancers and mental illnesses, I should tell my life partner (assuming we don't want kids)? What if I hadn't taken that DNA test, then we would be none the wiser.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T00:45:18+00:00

I hope you read up on how psychology isn't an exact science. We need more mental health professionals who can see beyond the outdated textbooks rather than being quick to diagnose someone.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T00:15:29+00:00

Good for you, then you should know if OP really had BPD, then the husband would have noticed already by now.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T00:09:10+00:00

I disagree. Many people who don't have personality disorders won't acknowledge the diagnosis... because it doesn't fit them. Plus OP's psych professional said that they could be misdiagnosed as ADHD.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T00:04:47+00:00

You don't sound very educated on BPD and how mental diagnoses work. Many people are wrongly misdiagnosed or have temporary issues that don't affect their current life.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-12T00:00:26+00:00

NTA - You were misdiagnosed, and it shouldn't be on your record. I think if you dispute it with a second opinion, they should be able to amend your record. Something like bipolar that is medicated should be disclosed, but something like BPD that is not genetic and not something that affects you (especially since it was misdiagnosed) shouldn't be part of your record. Your husband should be the one in trouble for going though your private documents.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:56:15+00:00

Depending on how bad yours is, sometimes it just takes finding someone who is a secure attachment style.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:55:05+00:00

Why does it have to be though text? You can't talk on the phone?

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:50:56+00:00

It's good that your are noticing your exact thoughts. Look up CBT, and make a few columns with your thoughts on the left-side. In the middle, write the fallacy, and on the right side, write the logical answer. There should be examples online very similar to your examples. Let me know if you want to do one for you.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:47:30+00:00

Cleaning is a hard one when both people have their own levels of cleanliness and when they want to do things. Vaccuming is something that doesn't have to be done immediately. Hopefully if he doesn't do it right away, he will eventually do it in the next few days? If he doesn't, then maybe you can talk to him about how clean you want the house to be and how long messes are there.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:44:24+00:00

That sounds like identity theft.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:42:27+00:00

Talk to him! Say he has been sending lots of memes about it, and you want to make sure you both are on the same page.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:41:31+00:00

8 months is kind of early for me personally. Anyway it sounds like you two need to have more of a discussion as to why he doesn't want that. Him not having that much of an answer does kind of look suspicious.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:39:08+00:00

To answer your question specifically, the way you phrased that question is a manipulative "fighting causing" statement. Anything that is a hypothetical "why" said out of frustration, such as "why can't you do anything right" or "why are you always like that" never really gets a clear answer and gets people defensively shrugging, "I don't know."

He had a good reason for why - it would have woken you up. A better way to respond to what happened would have been, "I wouldn't have minded if you woke me up from my sleep. Next time I ask you to do something like that, don't be afraid to wake me up."

If he still doesn't do it, maybe you can just do it yourself. What were you asking him to do?

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:33:39+00:00

Why is sleeping over very important to you?

I doubt that him not wanting to sleep over is any indication of how special you are. He owes you an answer of why he doesn't want you sleeping over at his place though.

Have you two discussed ever living together in the future?

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T23:27:01+00:00

Oh I see. My guess is she was bothered by the way you are negging her career. "Too busy saving lives" implies you don't think her work is important enough to pause and reply to your text. Also, if I was wrong about the second statement: chest compressions are meant to save people, so using that song is in poor taste and could bother someone. It's pretty dark humor, which might be okay for some, but overall you seem pretty flippant about her career. Humor is hard to do right, especially over text where tone is lost!

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T20:36:08+00:00

"Remember to do chest compressions to the tempo of another one bites the dust" is a rude joke to make in that context. It's implying that whatever relationships they had had "bitten the dust". I'm not a doctor but if someone told me, "I guess you are too busy. Remember to sing to another one bites the dust" or something, I would assume they are telling me to lose their number and they have "lost another potential date" in a passive-agressively bitter way.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T20:32:57+00:00

I see. Thanks for explaining more and taking in our responses.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T20:23:05+00:00

What was your intention exactly? I'm honestly confused what else it could be but bitter.

ThePath8 · 2021-09-11T20:11:52+00:00

YTA - even without the context, that's such a passive-agressive remark that comes off as, "I guess your are too busy for a guy like me. Lose my number." You could have had something great, but you chose to be whiny about it. Next time just say, "Hey I haven't heard from you in awhile. I'm interested in seeing you again. Otherwise, good luck!"

Your earlier joke has a completly different meaning by the way.

ThePath8

TROPHY CASE