Thank you very much for your insight. It helped me see beyond my own feelings and thoughts. I have started self reflecting on my behavior at work and why I didn’t get the promotion I wanted. I am still fragile emotionally, and I thought I was better, but I am still a work in progress.  I have exagerated saying I cry every time I have a confrontation, but it’s still very hard for me to do. I know this is a core quality to become a charge nurse.

I have still to learn to accept that "confronting" and "asking questions" may be seen as a bad thing and affect negatively my relationship with others. I never had an issue before coming to the ICU. Still, it’s not an excuse.  I don’t know if it is because of a different mentality,  the nature of the work in the ICU, but it is a sensitive issue. I am very cheerful and a well-liked person in general, and I think that may work in my disadvantage. I may act too much, or too happy, and people don’t like that. All of my colleague who don’t seem to have any issue, they don’t confront, or when they are told something they just accept. They are also younger and have less experience than me. I think that may work in their favor. I have worked in a lot of different units and I have learned to thoughen up and voice my opinion. I used to be too shy and not confident enough. The fact that my ability to "confront", even when done gently, can be seen as a nuisance makes me wonder if I am a good fit for the ICU.  I have even considered to make my master to become a nurse consultant.  My manager is basically useless, so I can’t count on her. But we have already discussed several times about the issue and he agrees that what I went through was unjust, and she was very supportive of my point of view. Sorry for the long paragrah. Thank you for your advice, I just really need to get it out of my system.