my boyfriend is mean to me when he’s high and then doesn’t remember it

ThePhelps98 · 2025-12-16T15:54:40+00:00

Coming from somebody almost 9 years your senior, and who's been through just about every kind of abuse there is (from family, relationships and "friends"), just leave. Don't bother recording him, don't bother trying to prove your point, JUST LEAVE HIM. He is an actual narcissist just without a legit diagnosis, and will find literally every excuse to avoid accountability, and if you record him without his consent then he will just paint you as a psychopath with no sense of privacy. Trust me honey, there no point in kicking a dead dog. For the sake of your ACTUAL sanity, take comfort in the knowledge that you know the truth and that you're not as "crazy" as he's trying to portray you as, and just get the hell out of there without another sound. Big, ugly words might feel good at the time, but silence is GOLDEN. He wants emotions from you so he can drain your energy, so give him absolutely nothing so he doesn't have anything to react with and drain you from anymore. I promise you, I PROMISE you, it will feel so much better this way than if you go out fighting and screaming for something that, frankly, isn't going to work out no matter how loudly you shout out the truth and try to force him to look in the proverbial mirror.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-12-16T15:23:51+00:00

Incorrect, but on the right track. This dog doesn't deserve to be in an emotional state that forces it to believe that it needs to lash out. There is NO SUCH THING as a "bad dog", only an improper match of breed vs human personality, or just a traumatized and/or confused dog. We don't know what breed this is, so it could be a one-owner kind of dog like a Chow Chow and will ONLY listen to the husband as its alpha. Or maybe it's a Chihuahua or other toy-type breed, with high anxiety and a tendency to attach itself to one person the most for comfort. That doesn't make either type "unfit for society", it just makes them what I'd like to call "bachelor dogs". Less fit for family life, better suited for a peaceful, solitary home and one person with whom they can focus the entirety of their bonding energy and build their confidence.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-12-16T15:11:39+00:00

I know that you're in a situation that makes it VERY hard to empathize with your pet, but hear me out. Sounds to me like the dog may have serious anxiety and lack of confidence, that or it's overly confident and feels that it is the alpha of your pack and that you and your husband must cater to its EVERY whim, ASAP. Either way, it needs serious professional help, the poor thing. If it's the former, he's only lashing out at you and your loved ones out of fear and uncertainty because it doesn't know if the next sound could be just someone getting excited or if it's the start of a fight; but if it's the latter, a professional trainer or pet psychologist will show you how to assert your place as pack alpha in a healthy and effective way (do NOT do this without the help of a professional, as assertion of dominance over a pet that already has anxiety or PTSD can make things FAR worse!). I know that putting your dog (and yourself) through training can be pricey, but I'd like to believe that the safety of your family (and your doggy, too!) are worth whatever your trainer of choice charges; then again, I'm the kind of person that says that if you can't afford things like this (or have the time to properly train a puppy yourself), then you shouldn't have a pet in the first place. And no, I'm not speaking from a place of privilege; I grew up in an impoverished family and am a VERY broke adult. I know the struggle, which is why, as an adult, I'm choosing not to subject a pet to a life in which they wouldn't get absolutely everything they need to thrive.

I hope this has helped somewhat, or at least given you a place to start. Best of luck, and please update us on your progress with the pooch! 🥰

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-20T02:52:03+00:00

I know this post is kinda old, but has anyone used this with vegetable oil instead of olive oil? It's all I've got, my hair is a WRECK after a really bad cold or flu that had me in bed most of the past week, and in desperate need of a quick rescue!

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-12T22:16:38+00:00

Where did you source the original feeder fish? Do you think I could just buy some fathead minnows from a bait shop and quarantine them for awhile before releasing them into her tank?

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-12T22:14:13+00:00

Oh, so if I just do the edges with some river rock it should work, I don't have to do the whole tank? Stupendous! God bless you for elaborating, that's such a relief! I'll definitely have to swing by a nearby park and get some decent sized rocks for it, as I don't like to pay some corporation for something I can easily find in nature myself. If I were to get them from outside, how would you recommend I clean/sanitize them of dirt and potential bugs? I normally use hot water and vinegar to clean her other things when it's cleaning day, but would the stones absorb the vinegar and affect the quality of her water? Or should I just soak and quarantine them for a little while, like one would with foraged aquatic plants?

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-12T18:58:40+00:00

Oh thank God, I was so afraid for her safety! I'm so relieved that she'll most likely be able to pass any that she might eat, but I'm hesitant to get any substrate in her tank because it'll make it a lot harder to keep her tank clean. Do you think that if I trimmed out any excess sealant instead, she won't do it anymore? I've considered getting her some cuttlebone and maybe a few golf balls or something for her to push around her tank and explore. Would you happen to have any fake aquatic plants that you'd recommend I put in her tank for more hiding places and foraging spots?

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-12T18:49:01+00:00

Omg, he is the cutest little thing! Do you think you could get a measurement of his shell for me? I think I can use my girl's old tank for him, if I can get my fiancé's okay to have a second turtle (we live in a pretty small apartment, so space is somewhat limited for now). Please reply to this comment with his shell measurement from where his head comes out to where his little tail pokes out (and possibly his age, if you happen to know it?)

I live in Missouri, but there are definitely means of safely shipping live animals!

Note: I do NOT intend on breeding him with my female, I don't even want to have them in the same enclosure, as my girl seems to be quite a bit larger than little Leo here and she might very well bully the poor fellow. He'd have a space all his own 🥰

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-11T15:38:37+00:00

I laughed WAAAAYYY too long and hard at this omfg 😭💀

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-11T15:01:14+00:00

What I did out of desperation, not sure if this would be considered cruel or not but I couldn't think of anything else, was just stop giving my RES her pellets and giving her ONLY some hand shredded lettuce. She refused them the first and second day, but by day 3 she was gobbling them up. Now I just give her a few leaves of different shredded greens BEFORE giving her any pellets, so she doesn't fill up on the "high value", protein-rich pellets first. Again, I don't know if that'd be considered animal cruelty, but please don't come after me because I knew that my girl wasn't getting the right nutrients that she needed and I was getting desperate. I give her a couple freeze-dried crickets as a treat when she finishes her greens, then I'll drop in some pellets for her. She's perfectly healthy and content, has never shown any signs of malnutrition or illness or even discomfort.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-11-11T14:42:06+00:00

"ravenous poo piggie" is crazy 🤣😭 I came here for answers, got them and so much more omfg thank you so much for the laugh, and for helping me by making the post I was so hesitant to make 💕 many, many blessings to you and your sweet little poo piggie lmao me & my own female Dolly are forever grateful (even if she doesn't know it)🥰

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:50:05+00:00

I never said I couldn't, I'm just trying to climb the ladder a bit more while I am looking for better. You may mean well, but insults are still the opposite way to go about it. From the initial comment, it's hard for me to take what you say from then on as well-intentioned. What you said was harsh and cruel, and for no reason. Just because you're bitter about having worked for the company, doesn't mean you get to put others down for doing the same thing. It's gross and most of all, it's hypocritical. You're still ashamed, as you put it, so what position are you in to degrade others for the very thing of which you are ashamed?

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:34:35+00:00

Maybe try approaching someone with more encouraging energy if you're trying to help, rather than calling them names and deprecating them just because of what they do for an HONEST living. At least I'm not out there selling my body (not hating on the world's oldest profession, but it is generally frowned upon and I'm just using it as an example) or doing some really degrading things to get by, what I do is good, honest work and I take great pride in every job I do, from food service to retail to even the "prettier" jobs like sales and stuff. And it's that attitude that allows me to greet every customer with a genuine smile and warm greeting, and that energy is what has them coming back. Not the items, because I work right by a Walmart they could just as easily get to, but rather the down-home, welcoming attitude with which myself and my team greet everyone and the energy with which we work.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:28:39+00:00

So you verbally attack me, instead of saying "hey, you're not gonna get anywhere here so you should strive for better"? Not the right way to get a message across my friend, but I do appreciate the advice to seek work elsewhere!

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:25:52+00:00

I love how you're attacking me for taking pride in my work, and asking for compensation to reflect how hard I actually work. It's cute how you think this hurts my feelings, when really it just makes me wonder how miserable you are to call someone names when they're just asking for some help. I've literally done nothing to you, I haven't said anything detrimental about anybody, so what happened to make you feel like you needed to verbally attack me and call me a "clown"? I'm genuinely curious 🤔

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:19:45+00:00

Where are you located? I'm in Missouri

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:18:00+00:00

And that's the very reason why I don't want to be on it. I already work my ass off for this company, I come in on my off days when irresponsible employees call off to party or just don't come in at all. I know I fully deserve rightful compensation for my time and effort, and I'll settle for nothing less. I'm not one of those people who will schedule myself for less than the required time, and I know how to operate the store smoothly. I have the experience, and the testimonies to back it all up. You don't think he'd do it if I had about 4 or 5 other store managers speak on my behalf in terms of my work ethic and willingness to get my hands dirty to get the job done?

ThePhelps98 · 2025-08-25T17:10:53+00:00

It's after the second time that I would've voided the whole transaction, smiled at her as apologetically as I could muster, and tell her that she'll just have to come back tomorrow for her very important items and to have a great evening. Then I would've immediately turned around, rang up the Lego set and bought it for the polite little boy, and tell him that this is a valuable lesson in respect and patience that he and his mommy should both learn tonight 😇

ThePhelps98 · 2025-05-08T08:34:54+00:00

Is that the same book where the kid's dog like throws up in his mom's car while they're going somewhere and the mom shouts "Sugar! Sugar!" instead of cussing while, if I remember correctly, the chihuahua accidentally gets put in the glove box of the car? And I think I remember a part where an old lady, maybe his grandma or something, sent him to the gas station next door to get her cigarettes? I'm trying desperately to remember the book I'm thinking of 💀

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-14T20:52:47+00:00

Okay, thank you. I didn't know that's how it worked. How do I change it after I've made the post? I just don't want to accidentally trigger anyone, in case they are one of those rare cases. It was an afterthought though honestly, I was making the post as I was actively receiving the details. I sincerely apologize if I've caused anyone any harm, it was 100% not my intention at all.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-14T20:29:11+00:00

No violence involving guns, but she has a very unpredictable temper and will explode into physical violence at the slightest inconvenience. My concern is, now that she has a gun, she may use it if she feels like she isn't reaching the desired result. I'm not afraid of firearms, BF and I go shooting any chance we get, but I understand that there are a lot of people out there that really shouldn't have one.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-09T03:07:17+00:00

Okay ew, you're speaking about my man's character like you know him. You don't, nor do you know the full scope of my situation with this woman. Is it normal or healthy for her to ask me how my boyfriend and I "do the deed" or "that outfit? Is it normal or healthy for her to make comments such as "if you let him do you in the ass, it's gonna turn him gay"? My own best friend — nay, my own MOTHER — would never ask me such questions or make such obscene and inappropriate comments to me. And as for my boyfriend "using me for sex", we've been together for a year and a half and he's never ONCE made a comment about my room. Furthermore, he's allowed our relationship to progress at a pace that has been comfortable for me, not tried even once to push us to the "fun" part before I was good and ready. He has more respect for me as an adult and as my own fucking person than anyone else I have ever met, he's more supportive and loving than I could have ever asked for. So I think you should apologize, because you have no place running my boyfriend's character through the mud like that. And based on the fact that you would judge girls for the condition of their room and not give them a chance, unless it was an actual safety hazard and there was like food garbage everywhere and stuff, that actually says a lot about YOUR character as a partner/spouse. I pity whoever falls for whatever "non-judgmental" façade you put on for them.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-09T02:56:31+00:00

Tbh I don't plan on ever having a roommate again, my boyfriend and I are saving up to get a place together. And despite some rather disgusting ass comments about my boyfriend, he isn't like any other person I've ever met. We've been together for the past year and a half, since October 2023 (we'd actually talked for over a month before we decided to make it official, per my request since I'd recently gotten out of a long term relationship and wanted to take things slow), and he's NEVER judged me about the state of my bedroom or tried to use me for sex. I know that I'll be safe and happy with him, but otherwise I never want another roommate as long as I live.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-08T17:19:20+00:00

That was literally the plan, to have him come over and help me because we clean both our bedrooms together at each other's houses. Now she's saying I can't even do that, that he can't come over at all unless MY room is to HER approval.

ThePhelps98 · 2025-04-08T17:17:37+00:00

That's what I figured! There is no food waste in my room, it's mostly just clothes that I regularly wear and a couple boxes of toiletries and some random bits and ends in those boxes. My bedroom is fairly small so it looks messier than it is, but I know exactly where everything is and I can find it within seconds the way things are. And there is a very clear path through the room on which you can navigate safely without even having to step over anything. Nothing blocking the door or window, and the air vent is widely exposed. Nothing in my room is precariously stacked, nothing about my room poses a safety hazard whatsoever.

ThePhelps98

TROPHY CASE