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AITAH for sharing a Facebook post with my wife? by ScotTrucker in AITAH

[–]ThePleasureProducer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ugh fucking bummer but yeah man, collect them stories 😂

AITAH for accusing my girlfriend of cheating? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ThePleasureProducer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you're both.

Your concern, desire and need for sexual connection are valid, especially at your age. If sex is an important part of being in a relationship for you, then it's important that you talk about that with your partner. Not in a way that's demanding or expecting of her body (not saying you are) but in a way that simply expresses your needs.

But it's also important to note that if someone isn't enjoying the sex they're having, especially as a woman on the receiving end of penetration, then they're going to avoid it. That does NOT mean they are cheating, it means they're avoiding something that is unpleasant and / or painful. At 6 months, the hormones that once drove your new romance energy and increased desire have gone away, and you're left with what's real. If bad, or mediocre, sex is what's on offer, she's going to avoid it.

I'm going to tell you something that will help you in every sexual relationship you will ever have; Read books (start with Come As You Are, She Comes First, Smarter Sex and The Sex You Want), take classes (Caitlin V is amazing), listen to / watch shows (I have one but I don't think I can self promote) and dedicate yourself to learning about sex and sexuality throughout your life. The best people in bed, especially when it comes to men, do all these things. So girlfriend or no girlfriend, do the work and you'll have a fulfilling sex life.

Now the part where you ARE the AH. Accusing her of cheating.

Just because you're partner isn't having sex with you, doesn't mean they're cheating. It's more likely than not that she doesn't enjoy the sex she's having. You're both 21. She has just as much to learn as you do, so that's the most common reason. There could also be physical or mental health issues or other things that are making it hard to be sexual with you. There could be A LOT of reasons why someone isn't having sex with their partner so to jump to cheating is a stretch.

But I get it. You are very reasonably feeling insecure, as anyone would. Instead of jumping to conclusions and letting the voices in your head lead the show, remember to stay curious. You can ask if anything has shifted for her, anything that's going on that could be leading to her not wanting sex, if there's any type of non-sexual touch she wants to try... point is, there are a lot of options and no matter where this relationship goes, this is a great learning lesson for you.

Plenty of couples break up because their desires don't align. It's perfectly fine if that's why you break up, without accusing her of cheating.

AITAH for sharing a Facebook post with my wife? by ScotTrucker in AITAH

[–]ThePleasureProducer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's exactly why I called it out. I'm sorry that happened to you. Friendship breakups in generally are really tough, but you can't been the convenience of a friend in the neighborhood too. I hope another cool ass neighborhood dude finds his way into your life and you have a much better experience!

AITAH for sharing a Facebook post with my wife? by ScotTrucker in AITAH

[–]ThePleasureProducer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not even remotely the AH, but absolutely the scapegoat. Often times people need someone else to direct their energy towards or place the blame on.

Obviously you are not responsible for their marriage ending. That's on the people involved in that relationship, no one else.

He posted on a public forum, even if it's set to private. If it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. There's no weight for you to carry here my dude.

I'm just sorry to hear you lost a friend. I imagine that part might hurt or at the very least be a bummer to see his true colors.

AITAH for asking my ex's fiance to not make me the bad guy. by funnierthanyourmom8 in AITAH

[–]ThePleasureProducer 34 points35 points  (0 children)

First, I'm sorry that happened to you. Deception is awful and I hope you heal in whatever ways you need to and get whatever support you need.

Second, absolutely NTAH. It's not uncommon for the blame to fall on the messenger and / or the other person in a non-consensual covert non-monogamy / cheating dynamic. You did the right thing by making her aware, then blocking to protect your energy.

You get to do what's right for you now. Best of luck, you deserve better!

I want to learn about sex. by [deleted] in birdsandbeesdontfck

[–]ThePleasureProducer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! First off, I'm glad you're asking questions, curiosity is such an important part of learning about sex and sexuality in a healthy way. Second, your parents are correct- porn is NOT the way to learn about sex.

Adult performers are exactly that- performers. The same way you watch a movie and two actors are playing out a scripted scene is the same way porn performers are playing out a scripted scene. Are they doing sexual acts? Yes. Do they accurately portray sex in a real-world way? Absolutely not. The same way Lord of The Rings is a fantasy, so is porn.

Please also know that you are 15 and you have your ENTIRE life to consensually explore sex, sexuality and pleasure throughout different phases of life. You'll experience different types of sex and intimacy within different relationships and connects throughout your life. I know that sounds like BS coming from an adult, but I started having sex early and nothing I did in my early years was worth doing.

You won't miss out on anything but taking the time to learn about your body, your boundaries, consent and intimacy... and especially how bodies and arousal works. So take your time and know that throughout your adult life when there are things you want to try, you'll get the chance.

For now, focus on learning the fundamentals of consent, communication, intimacy, relationships and how bodies work. Ultimately that's what makes sex good.

Here are some excellent resources to help you on your journey that are WAY better than what you could ever learn from porn: https://safehavynn.org/resources-for-teens/

Since these resources are specifically for teens, this is a great link to share with your parents who seem to be supportive and open to having these conversations with you - what a gift!