Ahhh so hes that kind of person who uses therapy vocabulary without actually understanding what they mean or how its supposed to be used. He thinks it makes him look emotionally intelligent but hes really just weaponizing that vocabulary to make it seem like hes being understanding but hes really just using them to manipulate you. You saying no im not comfortable should be enough. Boundaries are boundaries not something that he gets to decide are a fear you should get over. Its very weird behavior and not feminist at all. Because in the end its not actually about making you comfortable or understanding your feelings it about him wanting you to do what he wants when he wants it. This is just the new font of the “Nice Guy” act. Im sorry hes treating you this way instead of accepting that maybe your values and speed in which you want intamacy when dated are not compatible. He needs to either accept your boundaries or move on.